sitting down here to post for the three hundred and tenth time, i had some uneasiness. Am i sure about what i think i want to say?? and i got up and walked over, and looked at the wall. Yes. i am sure.
it started this morning looking at the linen runner with the colors. Back up. from the Color segment of Jude's What If Diaries. i had decided yesterday to put it back and use the runner for small "Lookings". just fragments that i want to watch together for no reason.
this little face…What is she looking at?
what is this thing about Dimensional? what is it saying?
and my eyes travel down
after i return from seeing Alz B., i pick it up immediately…there is a real excitement about continuing. the needle is already threaded so i finish out that thread with the kantha. Why does it look so much darker???? i don't know. and then, the Eye. What is here, but more that i took away. realizing i need to go slower. need to breathe through this part of it all. Slow down. Slow down, grace. Listen.
and i have an answer to that Question from the Narrator the other day.
To whom do you belong?
in a comment somewhere i said something about belong to the consciousness of the Earth. and this morning, suddenly, it came with more understanding. in the 1980 's there was a lot written about the concept of Gaia. The Gaia Hypothesis to be exact. i have a copy of ReVision Magazine from the 80's with the whole issue devoted to the Gaia Hypothesis. i spent a long time, searching here for it and can't find it. so i am going to rely on some small simple words. if you google Gaia Hypothesis you can find many many references.
Gaia. a concept that the planet Earth, all on it, all in it, all around it, ALL….is a single Organism.
This.
then, in the 90's Quantum Physics became popular. that can be googled too. Nothing is as it seems. Quantum Physics.
and here we have it. There are a million ways to view ourselves on this planet in this life time. There has been a sense that beginning in this next year of 2014 (which adds up to Seven) i will want to "ground" myself in one of them. to not be Vague about it. To choose. to, well, ground myself, solidly. and i think this is from whence that Question. To Whom do you belong?, grace…
to WHOM, not WHAT, but WHOM do you tie your alliegence?, your fielty? is it the "world"…as in "worldly world"? or……but i didn't have the OR. Today i do. it's Gaia. it's the sense of being like a single cell of a huge organism. that seems like an old concept now…it's been 30 years. no one uses that term anymore. retro. but here it Rises. and it is the best Image i can sense to direct me in these next days, months, on into this Spring of 2014. just as some micro organism works in my compost, so do i work. no more, no less.
and all this has been coming for quite a while. clues have come in many of YOUR comments here. in many of the small things outside, like those worms in the Way Back. like the mention of Permaculture and how i connected that to the other day when i made the HUGE error of forgetting to turn off the hose after filling the Goat tub. how it ran all night and in the morning i was so freaked to see it had pooled, Pooled, but then with the morning's SUN, suddenly there were trillions of birds…bathing, eating, singing, spinning and whirling about, running on their funny little feet through the mud, leaving prints of themselves everywhere….WATER. Water when Water is scarce.
and the serendipity of daring to ask Roz to make me the small talismen. and how i'd mistakenly imagined i would wear them as earrings, and putting them on needing to acknowledge that i no longer can return to that earring world. those days are gone. but putting them on a piece of the black string from so long ago, and them touching my skin where the Heart Chakra and Solar Plexis meet….feeling that as i move through the days…
All this.
and i am uhhh, assured that this is how i will know how to go forward here, in this Place, with these companions of Goats. i had begun to feel uneasy. now i don't. we are all one thing. it's OK.
windthread 
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