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an abalone morning

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Evening

In my other life,  long ago,  i was a Psych Tech at the University of Michigan.  For 17 years.  Where i learned how to be a Human Being.  Then i taught myself to work with Spinal Cord Injured men.  Did that…Art Therapy.  Then i was part owner of a Book Store,  while giving workshops on Creativity.  Then i Ran Away to New Mexico where i did many things.  Worked on an assembly line in a warehouse,  did Home Care for Terminal people,  worked at a Prison with Children and Families,  worked for a woman who made Fairy Godmother dolls,  did Landscape work,  and HouseCleaning.  All the while doing some form of personal Art.   I wanted to become a Writer.  

Today i went back to Peggy's house.  I had quit Cleaning for her when i began getting Social Security.  I quit most of my cleaning jobs.   She was sad.  Why? she wanted to know.  Because i don't want to anymore, i said.   I wanted to become even more Free.  HouseCleaning, in New Mexico, is the most income for the least amount of time if you find the right "pool" of people to clean for.  Here,  where i ended up,  that pool is,  with the exception of the Old Cowboy,  people who work at the college,  New Mexico Mining and Technology.  They are ALL,  without exception,  people from SomeWhere Else.  All of them are couples with advanced degrees and interestingly enough, no children.  All of them have animals.  All of them hold their Place in great Love.   Peggy is the mother of one of those couples,  who i also cleaned for,  from Boston.  She has her own very excellent home that they built for her on their property when she moved here.  Peggy was 90 this year.  She and her son and daughter in law are disciples  of Ishwar,  a Living Master of the Sant Mat Tradition.  For all the years i worked for her,  she hoped that i would come to love Sant Mat.  Come to love Ishwar.  I didn't,  but she loved me anyway.  So,  it's been some years since i cleaned her beautiful home and as i did again today,  because she cannot find anyone,  me agreeing to once a month,  i had the opportunity to be aware of how i've changed in the last years.  And it's true.  i've softened.    My edges have worn away.  It was quite wonderful,  really,  to be there and experience her as 90 instead of 83 years old,  to let her ask me off and on to do things she can no longer do, like empty the cat litter over the back fence.   and when it was done,  she fed me one of her just so Great squash qeusidillas  and we sat together,  noticing the Wind.   She is a Gardner.  Used to grow vegetables and take them to the Farmer's Market,  selling out each time.  She still Grows,  but on such a small scale,  for herself,  to give.  She wears beautiful earrings and great outfits of long skirts,  T shirts and sweaters.  Knee high socks and tennis shoes.  She has had both knees replaced,  one twice, and a hip replacement.  She is pretty much deaf.   She begins every single day with a two hour meditation. I took her half of the Paneer.  She's a great cook.  Vegan.

So What's this got to do with Anything????   Well,  it has very much to do with this Cloth.  LifeSpan.

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How i am Living Here.  With Goats.  With an old cat and an old dog.  With a NEW dog and sometimes feeling a little overwhelmed by the future of the Old Cowboy,  but still,  saying OK to Peggy.  She says it's Karma.  Nothing more and nothing less.  And on that,  i think i have to agree.

 

 

 

 

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15 responses to “a LifeTime”

  1. Mo Crow Avatar

    that light
    That New Mexico Light
    shines through your photographs,
    your words
    and the stitched marks in the cloth
    so bright and clear

    Like

  2. patriciaspangler47@gmail.com Avatar

    i see it–just below the black/white thread–and think of it as the eye that sees all–the center of a basket–the point where all things exist. it’s my very favorite motif that you’ve used before and when i saw it just now, it was like seeing an old friend. a reminder of how things really are.

    Like

  3. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    the light seems unreal..sitting here looking at my morning becoming darker instead of lighter..snow forecast for tonight, tomorrow..disappointed as the snowmelt stopped abruptly and everything has refrozen..my path outdoors blocked..funny to think i haven’t taken my new hip out back. ( wow 2 knees one hip..i am so still surprised with one hip..and so grateful ).i had so thought i would sit outside and just breathe this weekend..
    the cloth seems very real..spent ages with the double click..and felt exactly like patricia seeing the familiar..having such a friendly response to it..
    isn’t it funny how suddenly as you age you have simply decades of experiences..how they build how you grew ..and suddenly your life has a vastness you were not expecting??
    and how 90 is there to discover …and how edges do wear away..gentle day grace

    Like

  4. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    oh so exactly..the recognition..i miss your writing very much
    and if you do not mind my asking..do you ever sell your beautiful baskets ??

    Like

  5. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Oh my….it is no wonder I find you so wonderfully interesting…..you have lived many lives Grace and such interestingly gratifying lives. For myself I worked 28 years at a bank…the same bank. Moved to Milwaukee and married in 1971….still living in Milwaukee and still married….to the same man. Don’t get me wrong I love my life and am GRATEFUL for it ……on the other hand you can maybe understand better why I like to refer to you as AMAZING Grace! Thank you for sharing here everyday….and you are a writer perhaps not like how you envisioned all those years ago but your words fill me with gratitude and inspiration everyday,,,,and I know I am not alone!!!!!

    Like

  6. Mo Crow Avatar

    just read this and thought it fit well with your words-
    “The light of memory, or rather the light that memory lends to things, is the palest light of all. I am not quite sure whether I am dreaming or remembering, whether I have lived my life or dreamed it. Just as dreams do, memory makes me profoundly aware of the unreality, the evanescence of the world, a fleeting image in the moving water.”
    – Eugène Ionesco
    via Whiskey River
    http://whiskeyriver.blogspot.com.au/

    Like

  7. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Grace, I met you as a writer so many years ago, and today you are still a writer…added to that images of the world in which you dwell..all around, sky, earth, animals, plants cloth..thread…food.. Grace…the writer who shares the breathing through a beautiful journey..the gifts continue to flow, and thank you.

    Like

  8. grace Avatar

    it is a world of Bright and Clear here, most of the time, so loved
    by so many. The Light is Holy.

    Like

  9. grace Avatar

    maybe that’s it. New Mexico. a PLACE that keeps pulling you into
    THIS DAY…there is memory, but New Mexico keeps you in this moment

    Like

  10. grace Avatar

    it’s wonder Full, isn’t it. I have a LOT of that repeating
    image, maybe a yard or more….just that Diamond and Dot. I am
    so Lucky to have found it. I love that you felt this way

    Like

  11. grace Avatar

    i know that this was to Patricia, but i miss her too, when she’s
    feeling Quiet. and yes….she does. Email her or go to
    followingthread.wordpress.com I would buy them ALL.

    Like

  12. grace Avatar

    I want almost more than anything for you to take your new hip
    OUTSIDE. Soon. Soon. You will have become partners by then,
    this magic hip and you. All in time. Maybe the snow is a gift
    in a way we would not imagine…..
    the experience….yes, built me….built How i Grew and yes…
    it is all opening out….opening out.
    Peggy used to annoy me. Yesterday, i saw her as something very different…it was that moment when we both lifted our faces to
    the Wind. I will write more about that. Opening Out. It is
    such a phenomenon

    Like

  13. grace Avatar

    i have. so many lives. and i can also wonder…What If i
    “stayed”. What if i had held steady with the father of my children?
    What if i had held steady as grandmother back there, in the other life? What would that have been like? I do wonder these things.
    I didn’t, so i can never know, but that was a different Path that would have taken me to a different life that may have been very beautiful in its own way? How maybe it would have been easier on my kids? These things Granddaughter and i talk about, just the other day.
    We are NOT alone. When you come here, I am not alone in the choices i have made.

    Like

  14. grace Avatar

    I cheat now. The photographs. There is less need for words.

    Like

  15. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Every photograph is a million words, every life a gazillion.
    Moments, Hours, Days, Weeks, Months, Years, Decades-
    all one gigantic collage of experience, image, thought, feeling and we -each- one tiny point in all that vastness. Golly, it’s great!

    Like

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