windthread

about Evolution…geological and then on,  into all the life forms rising from that and on.  into  "civilization".  What works and what doesn't.   Primitive,  still.    yet so complex.    and then….there is a Kite

this has been sitting Out here to my left for months.   i barely look at it.   don't really like  it….the large piece…it's largness, its shape.   But i also haven't moved it       away.   today i looked.  and wondered.   What was i thinking?  Why did i do this?   It must have been a significant thought because i gave it the square of Toad Egg cloth.  

 

 

so i looked long and changed it.  Trying to know.   

at the end of October or early in December,  i didn't write it down,  i just pushed some peas in the grow bags.  and i dont remember if they were Pods or Snap Peas.   I really didn't think anything would come of them.  The ones that i'd grown since spring,  that vined,  succumbed to the intense heat of the summer.   Pea Pods and Snap Peas are prized vegetables by all of us.  If i can be more sensitive to the their needs and more intuitive of the shifts in weather,  maybe.  There are 3 beauty Full vibrant pods.  6 blooms altogether.   I might have more seed peas down there somewhere.  If so,  now would be the time to plant.  and write it down.   

 

 

all the errands and then…Verizon,  to talk about the impossible connection recently and the young woman there was so Great and cheerful and said i had an extremely outdated plan which she tapped away and away and FIXED…all new,  but yes,  the ifyness might continue for a month or so as Verizon is improving it's Somethings to give 5G or something.   I sat in the parking lot trying stuff out and it seemed better.   Got  home,  fed Goats,  did what needed done and sat to do the post….NO INTERNET

she had not noticed that i need the Hot Spot.   

it's more than i want to tell here,  but i tried.  i tapped all manner of things and tapped through a really great exchange with another young woman named Ebony somewhere in Louisianna who tried her BEST to fix me,  consulting with her  supervisor several times but at the end of maybe almost an hour,  had to leave me with a phone call appointment for 7 am with Big Mother Verizon….they would call me.

in the meantime,  Alyssia called and i told her all i had  "accomplished" and she said give her 5 minutes,  try the Hot Spot.  She would call back.  

in 5 minutes it WORKED…..she FIXED it…………………..all today it worked

and part of what the pic above tells….     I had received these most wonder FULL purple knitted mittens….  and thought…i want to send her a Card.   so this is the first ever drawn and sent Card.  to Cheryl.   who lives just north of here.   When i walked into the Post Office,  i went directly to the outgoing envelope thing…..slid the envelope in the ornate slot ….it was such.   Such      a good feeling.

keep it simple,  grace.

there is Covid in our world now.   was just a matter of time i guess.  Like for everyone else.   When i ended the  exchange with Ebony last night,  i said

be safe

she   paused

and said     Thank You.   You too, grace.

 

 

there could be more.   there could be Earth….to ground the gesture,  just enough

i took the trash down to the dumpster thing that waits at the side of the road to be emptied.  to accomplish this,   i move the new vehicle down and back in front of this tin home.   There,  now,  at the top,  the Toyota truck sits.   the trash bags having accumulated in  his bed until i can't put it off any more.   The key is always  left  in the ignition .  i get in,  pump the gas twice then not again and turn the key.   it takes,  so far,  knock on wood,  maybe 3 tries.   this is a 30 year old truck.   He  has sat.  Waiting for work maybe a month?   In New Mex,  in that old life,  i would drive then to the Transfer Station about 2 miles and have a long and great conversation with the Transfer Guy.   Sonny,  this Toyota truck , had a lot of work back then.   

Tay gets in and we rumble down the "driveway"  to the big gate   open and close    and through and then to where this small road of CareFree Way touches Old  Olive.   I load the trash bags and feed bags and whatever else into the Bin.   Sometimes i continue on to Lakeside Gas and Grocery.   This time,  i hooked a left and drove up to the left turn at Lost Horizon.  I drove slow.   Wanting to stop,  over and over.  There are some amazing things to see on Lost Horizon which is dead end after a while.  There are some beauty full homes,  some interesting homes and on the right going along there is a long and continuous    DEEP  gash in the Earth.   a Ravine.    People along there have ENORMOUS boulders all around their homes,  their out buildings.   Looking,  it speaks of some EVENT  that occurred in this area that includes this  Hill,  some hundreds or thousands of years ago.   I want to stop over and over and take pictures.   Maybe sometime i will.  For Nancy.

we came back.   I untied the remaining 2 ties of the SunShade that survived the Wind on that A frame thing over the picnic table.   it's LUSH with spring grass and clover in a way i've never seen before.   What 6 weeks of relentless Rain can do.  I studied the Wall Garden and had feelings.  Looked under the cardboard that i'd placed and saw that it had in fact done it's work.  Thought about how i will meet Spring there.  Different.  but,  how,  different?

and then i just went and SAT.   Looking out at what is seen in the pic above.  This is where i live.  This is where i live.  What does that mean?,  where i LIVE?

i thought about how there are three kinds of real.   the first is the      real     of say,   the news,  facebook.  and it is real.   it's about things that are really occurring everywhere around.   it's about how life is playing out across this north american continent.  and then 

there's the Real….the real of life here on this Hill,  with Alyssia,  Jenny,  Jeff and the kids,  the Goats, Talkie Puppy and Tay how we live interfacing the first real,  OF the first real but more  and then there is the Other Real…that Real that takes a lifetime sometimes to experience that is the

Big Real.   that communication in response to the Intelligence of the Universe that asks us to ……to…..What?    To see the Full Beauty of the Possibility?????     I look at the Colors.  think…they are surreal.    But they're not…they are Real.   This  "sky",  this "grass "  of  Earth,   growing up from the dry brown of what it was.   it's Real.   The most Real 

 

in the spirit of Just Going,  of persevering,  of No te rindas  

the urge to keep fooling with Crow,  but the equal urge to leave as it came      

the lines should be just enough to set a story into motion.  these are all ready more,   maybe too much

it's gotten progressively worse.  Today,  all day,   i had no phone service…only emergency numbers.   there are  momentary windows when i might write a comment or respond to gmail but by the time i'd written something even brief,  the window had disappeared along with what i'd written.  As i write this,  it's highly possible that it won't post.   Its Verizon,  that's been good for all this time and only in the last weeks,  this.  No notifications as to what the deal is.  Alyssia says it's this whole area.  A tower down somewhere.   And so.  Everyone's online Bills are supposed to come out any day.  How can we pay our bills???????

i will just continue.   i drew a new pic today…stared off into the trees to try to see what a Crow might look like if it was coming down fast onto a branch….it helps too to try to FEEL what that Crow might FEEL….Crow is taking time.  "She" was there immediately.   

And then this.  As simple as it gets.

 

Internet is there and then NOT.    These….a journal entry.

 

i have tried for over an hour to size these pics correctly to no avail.   But they are ok.  kinda froglike,  but ok enough to Journal the page.   

i contiued and  continue to look at how it was yesterday,  what the shift was.   And maybe this is some of it…that first pic being how i have felt for the 2 years now of Covid.   a Barrier

the mask,  a barrier .   i thought about how it has muted me.  i say little from behind it.  I transact business.   Buy things,  pay for things then  leave and pull it off outside the door.   Go home.   This morning i asked….who am I behind that?  Who have i always been?,  before all this?  Who  am i still?   

in the morning news there was the top story that Biden is saying that Covid is part of life.   and i think…well,  there it is.  In the headlines.