windthread

this morning.   Cloth  fragments and glue stick on craft paper card

and Otherwise.   Alyssia is in the midst of a Flare.   Flair?   Flare?   In the midst.  She also has a torn rotator cuff.   

it was decided last weekend to see what happens if we transition from baled alfalfa to alfalfa pellets.   The bales weigh 100lbs.  The pellets come in 5o lb bags.   

The three buck Goats,  2 intact bucks and Jack Flash the wether companion of Sunny Ray,  will continue to need baled Grass hay.   Particularly SR and Jack…there's really nothing left in their small forest to eat.   Nogal,  some.  But not a lot.  They can't eat alfalfa,  it causes problems in Bucks.   The 11 Doe Goats free range,   their diet is all that they browse here and varies by season.  We watch that closely….not wanting over browsing  to the detriment of the eco system here.  So far, so good.  They are like deer.  So we started transitioning on Sunday.   In the morning they get the usual alfalfa,  dry leaves stems.  But evening feed was t he pellets.  which are 100% alfalfa.  There was concern because the pellets are the small pellet horse feed.   Goat pellets are not all alfalfa but mostly with things like wheat, corn and soy.   There are feelings about these other ingredients,  particularly soy.  So it was a question of they would be able to handle the small pellets that are some larger than Goat pellets.   I watch them eat.

Along with the bags of pellets,  Jenny brought 8 stainless feed bowls.  Small.   i immediately thought….This Will NOt  Work.  When i gave them pellets in N Mex i gave them in the large feed tubs…3 of them.   In N Mex the pellets were additions to regular feed.   The difference here is that the pellets are THE evening feed.   Goats are not considerate of one another.  At all.   Some would get a lot,  some some and some a little.   When it comes to Feed,  everyone needs to get enough.  

Sunday,  she arranged the bowls in an arch up the hill from this house….far from where they have been getting the baled alfalfa down by the feed shed.   We poured pellets into them and called.   Come Come!!!   They looked up.   What?    and hesitantly  came and FOUND and wolfed them down.  Because there were 8 bowls,  they ran back and forth between them,  Everyone,  and everyone got a fair chance.  None of the bowls were tipped over.  So,  monday and today,  Tuesday.   All goes well.  There is still need to Watch.  To be sure.  Particularly since maybe 4 are bred.  

The pellets are stored in a BIG plastic food grade barrel she got.  We put it in the Kidding Shed.   They don't know about that.  It will be a secret i hope,  forever.   When they are off wandering,  i take 3 large plastic pitchers out there and fill them,  bring them in this House.   At feeding time,  around 4 to 5,   i take the pitchers out and fill the bowls and if they're not already there,  they come in an instant to the sound.     I DO NOT want them around when i fill the pitchers or anything else.  It would be mayhem.  so i work at being sneaky.   So far,  so good.  But they're very smart and really,  more like a herd of Women than animals.   Women who love food more than any other thing.  So…that's that part of the Goat News.   The rest,  today,  is that Lucky Star broke Sunny Ray free.   The last time she broke his gate,  she went IN.   I assumed she got bred.  But now…i don't know.   I had layed down for my 20 minute nap  and just as i'd drifted off,   i woke to wierd sounds outside the door and looking….lo and behold….Sunny Ray and all of them snorting and pushing and milling about and Jack Flash too…the wierd sounds,  buck sounds from  SR.   In these moments there's nothing to do but TRY.  I put my boots on went out and got the rope lasso…..Walked into  the middle of the melee and got it on Sunny.  He's a big Goat for a Nigerian.  As big as i am  and much stronger.   So with the lasso in one hand and grabbing his horn with the other,  we made our way down down down and down to his forest yard…everyone coming along making all manner of vocalizations,  he resisted some,  tried to become free some but really went along for NO REASON other than he's Sunny Ray.   The very last part is a drop in the hill and i was afraid he could pull me down, but we inched and inched slow and i kept talking to him….help me,  Sunny….we need to do this,  Sunny,  and we slid down and into through his broken gate and i let him free and BREATHED.   I used the lasso to tie the broken part closed  and waited as Jack Flash twirled and spun with all the Doe Goats who found him interesting free like that and that went on a while,  me calling him,  him ignoring me until an emergency vehicle went with Siren up Olive Highway and he ran to his gate and in.

What do i want to say about this.   I guess just that i was Glad.   Glad that i managed.   I managed an ify moment.   I did what i knew to do and it worked.   I am old and skinny and small.   But i did what i knew to do and it worked.  An everyone is very ok.  We are all ok and Fine.

The NEWS today is not at all Good.  I am helpless and ineffectual that way.   For humankind.  But here…i did what i knew to do and we are all good.  Stuff's  OK.

 

 

 

by the light of the flashlight lamp,  before dawn.  I liked how quiet it was.  Before becoming animated by

 

continuing on.   using ink for mycelium in the new green of growth.   Small blooms were defined.   And that fragment above the center crystal….?????….it was just there,  still on the table after i'd collected everything and put in their places.  Still there.  so it's added.   tho it has no "meaning",  i find my eyes rest there a lot.    Maybe that's it's meaning/purpose.  Saying….rest your eyes.

 

and then to Wall Garden awhile and back to some housekeeping.   Everything here was in the shallow glass bowl.  along with a lot of dust.   on my side of the Altar.   I carried the leaves,  feathers and turkey tails over to B for Tazmeena's grave which has BIG grass growing.  Big.  I should plant something there.

 

the last day.   Prompt:  Imagine our shared challenge experience has been a literal path marked with stepping stones…one for each person who participated in whatever fashion.  What does your stepping stone look like?  What would you wish us to receive as a gift related to what you most enjoyed about collage?

when i thought about stepping stones i thought   Slate.   so the stones here are slate.   Variations.  but slate.  This has meaning,  i don't know what that meaning is.

there was no hesitation.  A circle of Us.   

I have never before participated in a  "challenge".   Or anything involving a Prompt.   The "information" i had about that is that i wouldn't be able to.  That i would       freeze     at what felt like a requirement.   But again…..i trusted Acey already (for no reason,  just because she's Acey)  and i thought she would  open a crack in this "information" i have carried about myself,  that it would be at least OK.   as in,  i would at least do ok.   and when i say that…do ok,    I guess it meant i would not be totally disappointing TO HER.   Interesting, huh.

Well.

Turns out,   it didn't have anything to do at all with performing well enough,   Nothing.   My response to the prompts were independent of anything other than some truly Beauty Full process of translating word to spontaneous image making with pieces of paper.   This was Collage.   

i found myself deeply involved in an internal  conversation of no words.   I made mySELF pictures of  things.   Almost always a surprise.  …..really,  i can say,  ALWAYS a surprise.   And this is the most beauty FULL thing for me about this experience,  that it was not in Any Way repeating things to my self about my self about my sense of Anything.   Although many of the images and themes were and are familiar,  i was able to see them as NOT MINE,  but things i have loved for a lifetime.   So this has shown me that the Love i feel for things comes from way beyond me,  outside of me,  BIGGER than me.  i am simply a…..uhhhhh…..  handmaiden.   I smile as i type that word.   Brows knit.   What?   handmaiden?   Yes.   i am a handmaiden.  Not sure what that term generally means,  but i use it here.   Handmaiden.   

The other part of it all is being a part of a Circle of those who participated openly.  How i so much look forward to how they might respond,  how i took those responses In and sat among them.   I loved this too.   More and more,   this formation of community has meaning.  Here,  for 3o days…but not really.   We were a Circle.     And that Circle will ALWAYS remain.

again.   I never think these posts through before i sit here and  charge up the battery and begin.  What i write here is always free association to the day.   So…this is what has arisen on first thought at the end of this last day.  There will be a LOt more,  i know. I will wake tomorrow morning and there will be no prompt.   How will That Feel?   What will i DO?   What now?

almost forgot.   The stones i had to put to weight the paper.   I'd used so much water on the Inktense that the paper began to curl.   So,  stones.    I also got "bold"  as my daughter says…oh,  Bold, mom ……,   with a slitty eye smile,  eyebrows flicking,  yes…Bold and put the Inktense pencils to use.   So…that's a clue for the Now What.

My GREAT and HUGE THANKS to Acey for this and to all who participated in whatever way they did.   Thank YOU ALL so so much.  Everything is different now.   Love and Love  and then well,  you know,   

 

 

 

 

yesterday.    I'd planned to work this one this morning,   but realized i wouldn't  have time.  Saturday is Jenny's day to be here and i hadn't finished Friday yet….that Laundry Day,

so i just spent time with the image.  Which is the work of  Anna Price Oneglia.   There.   i did it.   the Artist's name.   or,  in the instance of the Nat Geo Photographs,  the photographer's name….which i very much need to credit if i am to go on using Other's Art for Collage.  

this image was closely aligned with words Acey  gave for Day 26.   " In the midst of the madness in our world hearts are breaking open,  people are blossoming and the golden soul of humanity is

is

rising up.  Never doubt it       for an instant. 

 Seek it out and nurture it."   Rivera Sun   The Dandelion Insurrection.   

This Prompt,  the Dream….and the words of this youngwoman…..they pierced my Heart.    I thought about how we choose filters,  deliberately or by default.    choose a filter to see,  interpret and Act in accordance with the chosen filter,  the chosen filter defining the days that add up to our lives.

 

 

and to keep going,   the momentum,  this morning's Prompt: Collage a welcoming PSYCHIC space that supports your ongoing creative goals and activities

 

no matter what i   "thought"   as i went through all the possibilities….it was this one.   And i didn't understand.  So i tried giving it the  tissue.   To "soften" it?   Was this my psychic space?????????

 

 

yes.   it was.   This is my psychic space.    My Interior House.   a 40 lb bag of dog food,  a bucket of something,  a cloth wall in the back,  stuff hanging from the ceiling beams that are branches tied to a tree trunk.   The glow of a fire pit warming the soft sand floor,  soft and warm to the bare foot.  And there i   Swang.   in the company of a snail who lives there also,  sometimes.

i didn't glue it down because i need to look at the pages so far.   I want this  and the one of the Dream to have a blank page next to them for writing.      I am making these Pictures,  not as in making A Collage as such,  but making a paper story that satisfies something inside me.  

I am so happy about All THIS

 

Prompt:   Plant the seed of a beautiful dream

These two are one.   

the one from yesterday.  I can say that i love it.   I can say that it brought to mind that thing from the birth announcements in the local Socorro,  New Mexico newspaper.   How i would love to see an announcement of a Navajo birth,   the Alamo Navajo.  They would read much the same as usual but always the sentence….Born FOR.   They would speak of the parents of the newborn,  the name,  and then it would say…..born for the _______clan.   Born for maybe the Bear clan.    Not born to,  but born FOR.  

Dine.   we,  the 5 fingered,  are Born FOR.   We are woven in.   We have purpose,  from the very beginning.  We belong.  We are OF and FOR.

the image from yesterday….Born For.   Born For Earth.   

then today….the beautiful dream….just a continuation but i would have been able to use this image that Acey sent me.  I have been waiting,  hoping a prompt would ask for it.    

The dream is a longstanding dream that i have Lived to one degree or another,   to connect to and work for this Gaia Consciousness….to create the heart connection and also the physical manifestation of Planting/Growing/being Fed.   Both spirit and body.   

It will have to wait until morning to take form as collage.  it was ironic that the moment i'd been waiting for coincided with the trip to the laundromat that had been drawing near for days now.   OR,  really weeks.  OR really months.   There were NO clean clothes left.  Zero.  I had planned to go yesterday but Emrie came instead.    At dawn this morning i began sorting the stuff into bags.  Pulling off all bedding,  quilt and comforter.   Taking down the Wall Cloth.   Off the denim couch cover.  And then…just the clothes.   The Beauty FULL thing IS….that first laundromat that was SO AWFULL?…Has had a complete makeover.   ALL NEW MACHINES.   The floors CLEAN.  Women WORK there and are cheerful….    !….cheerful,  even.   so it was a monumental WASH but it got done and i got two trash cans to hold the new feed that Jenny says we need to use and i went to the Feed Store and got 50 lbs of dog food and  50lbs of Goat pellets that Jenny says we need to use and i got back and moved those things.    Fed self.  Fed Goats.  Fed Tay.  Fed Talkie her meal worms.   To ALL of you,   which i think is ALL of you,   who have a washing machine in your own home.   Place flowers on it.   it is a sacred thing,   washing.   See it as such and be so joyfull it is There…right There.  It's the one of many things different here and in my old life.   I didn't have a washing machine in my home,  but had one for weekly use.    it's a first world  given.   Taken for granted.   But…think about it.  

 

 

 

 

Prompt:  Create a heartfelt offering  for Gaia

No matter.   I would give the newborn,  the yet unborn to this Earth.   I would give the little ones,  now,  Just Going.  Give them,  all,    to this Earth.  Trust this Earth.  

  go to utube

type in search:  true facts about the land snail      zefrank

your day will be better for it

 

Change.  I don't know what or how.   It might be me that changes?   or  Things?   but a sense of it.  And that procrastination….i have been doing things that i could have done since last spring even.  Like today i finally pulled the two big tarps up  from where they've been all to the side of the road up,  disarray,   how every time i passed them i thought i should do something and every time didn't.  One is 30 something ft long.  We covered the entire roof of this travel trailer with it last year because of those Atmospheric Rivers of Rain.  In spring it got removed and lumped over,  halfway down that hill,  under the trees.    Today i pulled them over the gravel and stretched them,  swept them,  hosed them off.   folded and rolled.  tied with feed bale twine and set over where we store things.   Done.   After i'd hosed them  i left them to dry and came back a couple hours later to fold and roll and as i did,  i flicked off what i thought was a clump of dirt but BRAIN that SEES more than i do said….WAIT!  LOOK AGAIN! and here was this small friend…a shell,  but i put it in my palm and Immediately s/he came out to see what was going on.  NO HESITATION,  Out,  the things that extend,  extending,  righting Self and on the MOVE.

 

I've forgotten what i know about Snails.  Need to go read.   But what a BeautyFULL creature,  so vulnerable but so trusting in the Going.   i want to be like this snail  as whatever is Different takes place.   

 

the Greening is in full swing.

color not true.  they are very orange

 

it has begun imploding.  If i'd seen it at it's peak,  this largest one would have been flat and at least 10 inches across.

 

on the younger ones,  the  gills are bright colored,  but i love looking at this pic

Acey is needing a few days off.   No prompt this morning and i feel like i've returned from a parallel universe.    Everything has a different quality.   We will finish the 30 days in a few days.    This card has been next to me all along but i haven't looked at it.  It's the kraft paper cards that i'd found just before she offered the Challenge.   This one has a little experimental Inktense.   I looked today and see there is also now another option.   The world is even bigger than it was before.    

i got an email from my Belov~ed sister friend Sydney.   If you've been around a long time,  you might remember her and her daughter Talula.  Sydney and Sheila and Talula and Jamie.   They have also moved from Polvadera,  to Albuquerque.   She says she reads Talula the blog as she's drifting off to sleep at night.   Talula is somewhere around 14 i think?   Is this the most Wonder FULL thing?  it is.  It's so wonderFULL i keep re~thinking it…think about how BeautyFull a mother and daughter can be.

Prompt: consider aspects of working style you've grown to admire about each of your virtual collage tablemates.   See what you can come up with that pays homage to as many admired aspects as you can.

Dee:  the ease with which you move between portrayal of masculine and feminine

Marti:  not hesitating to merge cloth and paper

Liz:   makes the association of Grid and Beauty

Acey:   the sparkling healing power of Flowers,  always the Flowers

Carol Gabbert:   who i have come to know from this Collage work.   Seeing her own work via email…sometimes there are angels…the iconic ones  that hover over intense more primal scenes.   I have no angels,  but that white bloom was enough to say Angel for me.   I wish you had a blog,  Carol.   We would all benefit so much.

and Joanne:   what i have admired the most….the wild abandon of your incorporating the oil pastels.  I used Inktense here,  but even trying,  couldn't come near in the slightest 

this ManBoy's name is Delagha who made his way from Afghanistan to Europe by Hustling.   He is eight years old in this photograph.   

i appreciated this Prompt so much.  At first,  just reading it,  i could not imagine how it might happen.  But i seem to have learned things.   Things fell into place.