windthread

a female  Wind

 

 

 

I met Alyssia and the kids at the Storage Place at noon.   She had decided that she can use the futon couch,  two chairs the dresser and my beloved stove Sabine at her house.   For now.    All the two days of loading things in New Mex,  i kept saying,  i don't need to take this.  I don't need to take this.  She kept saying,  take it.  Decide once you are there.  Alyssia is a keeper.   we were there 4 hours.    Now the bankers boxes and some things line the walls in a U shape.  I can get to each box.  Look.  Think.  

The plan had been for Alyssia to clean the Attic at her rented house and Julian would have that as a bedroom.  He was  thrilled.  But it's warming up now and has become totally clear that it would be intensely HOT up there,  even with some kind of air conditioner running all the time.  So…plan B or F,  whatever.   The attic will be used for Storage.  To see how it goes.  Her house is 15 min from here.  There's a lot of room up there.

These bankers boxes.   Books.  Kitchen stuff,  like all the sizes of pyrex casserole dishes anyone might imagine needing.  Pyrex pie plates.  I think  there are 4.  Pots and pans.  Bowls.  all kinds.  Things like that.    The books…includes the full set of 10 volumes of the Books of Knowledge and 10 volumes of Lands and Peoples….the 30's editions.  My childhood.    Some magazines that i love.  Old ones.    Before i left i took boxes of books to the Library for their sale.  All the dishes are packed wrapped in linens.  Sheets and towels.  A lot.  There are the two wooden toy boxes.  There are the bankers boxes with Treasures written on the masking tape.  She kept looking through them,  lifting one thing up after another,  delighting in them,  many things familiar to her from her own babyhood.  These…i can now go back by my self and look.  Think.  I can get to each box now.  I have no idea what to do with all those treasures.  I'll take pics of that process.  Easier than trying to word it here.

I brought back  7 books.    5 of those under the bed storage tubs,  one large garbage bag of textiles.  One of the storage tubs of clothes.  Summer ones.  3 large pillows with covers i love.  that i made.   A large box of Jars.  my JARS!!!   from the Smiths  Grocery in Socorro,  pasta sauce jars with plain black lids,  no writing.  I would just buy the sauce because i wanted another jar.  Them.  Perfect for dying cloth.  Aesthetically so satisfying.  Yes.  And some large glass jars.  Them too.  

There's that black wooden chair of the Old Cowboy's.  shored up with baling wire on the legs.   I'll bring it here,  in,  it will be totally awkward at the end of this kitchen table. it probably won't work,    But,  maybe it's worth the discomfort.  It was his mothers.  Flossie.  What else?  oh the wooden dragon wind chime that's out in the Morning Tree and already the humming birds have checked it out.  

That's it for now.  OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NO!!!!  i had resigned self to having somehow left my copper pot behind.  Given up.  But in one of the bankers boxes marked Treasures,  Alyssia poking through,  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!  there it WAS!

After all the angst about the Shed…..maybe we don't even need a shed.  Wouldn't that be Interesting?????

 

 

 

 

a branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things,  including abstract concepts such  as being,  knowing,  substance, cause, identity, time and space.

Metaphysics

I think a lot now in the context of what i might want to talk with Emrie about…in the time  i will have with  her,  as she is just going,  with her human being ness.   What,  maybe till she's 10?,  12?  Who knows.   So  a lot now, as i go along,  i Re View things.  What in my life experience do i believe to be true,  to be of value.  What matters.  She will take it or leave it.  Just like 9 year old Julian does now.

a current example:  How WE  All  went forward with Susie's Loom.  The genuine happiness this brought.   for US.   Which led to a lot of thinking about Giving and Receiving.   About how i have always been good with the Giving but found any Receiving  hard.    And as i thought,  i went back to all that i studied and learned in the 80's when we would be advised to  "just put it out there,   Ask the Universe".    The persons advising this having great confidence.  This led to thinking how for whatever reason,  i had never done that.   If i wanted something to happen,  i would figure out a way that    I    could make it happen.   But to Ask?,  no.    I sat thinking.  What do i believe possible?   So i wrote in my stenographer's notebook where i write things….

a shed.   I would  like a shed,  Universe.   

and i closed my eyes,   hands on my knees,  palms up.   I visualized the vast whirling space quantum physics tells me about and let it Fly…up into that.   the    Universe.   

I woke the next morning to Michele's comment and then Patty's.   I was Startled!    Their OH SO Loving Enthusiasm!    Could it Be?    but immediately took some steps back….and since,  have been in constant dialogue ,  my two minds….   What if?   and  the dialogue goes….it can't be.  What i meant was maybe a posted shed on Craigs list.    But here,  these two BeautyFull Hearts…all energized….What if?   But then i think,  no….Susie's Loom was a Need.  This shed is not a Need,  but a Want.  And Susie never asked.  She just told me that she was a weaver and had left her loom behind.  I offered.  She never asked.   And the dialogue went on about how you shouldn't Ask for something you don't NEED.  So much NEED in this world.  the word Selfish arose and right away,  i could link all this,  the Wanting,  the Having to very old childhood experience.  Wendy Golden Levitt would love this.

so it's the kind of story i will tell Emrie,  ask her what she thinks.  Or,  maybe by then,  i will have learned more and we can talk about it in a different way.

This Cloth above.    The two vertical Energies,  Spirits are creating the Thing between them Selves.  Neither the Vertical Energies or the Thing being created can be known with ordinary mind,  but Recognized in some Other way as being Real and as happening.  This Cloth,  as with the 6 others,  so much the influence of Desert.  How things there were  in bas relief.  Singular, rising from sand or rocky expanse.   When i moved there,  that acre,  there was Nothing.  Sand.  3 kinds of weed.  No tree or bush or rock even.  No shelter.  Nothing.    Here…so different.  Where so much of this Hill has existed as it does today for hundreds of years,  forming, reforming,   A biosphere of reciprocity to the nth degree.    As i type this,  a Great Electrical Storm….Thunder Man.   Maybe the Last Rain of this year.  How it feels to become a small part of this Place,  to come to feel One with it,  to feel it working ON me,  tuning me to Its way.  The Cloths are now reflecting that.  What will they be like now?  

 

 

 

today i was drawn down to that creek canal at the bottom of this Hill.  Watching the miracle of moving water.

Life is so Big.

i have thought about many many things today.  I'll come back to this tomorrow.  It's too crowded in my mind right now

We were there.  In the most natural way,  a time of Great Loss.  We felt it and responded.

Irene immediately offered her tapestry loom,  Jude,  a table loom and Micael,  in Santa Barbara,  a FLOOR LOOM that she said she would bring up to Susie in a UHaul….!

all the shipping is covered.  We breathe.

There is mending.  Weaving in,  together.  If we all could,  each in our own way,  continue to Wish Well as Susie reCreates a Life.  

As much as the loom was for you, Susie,  the mending is for All of Us.  Thank You for receiving.  

Love and Love and then…more

 

one of the very first Cloths.  Woven strips of  stained muslin.  

it's hard to tell here.  It's the clothes line Out Back in the old home in Polvadera.  In the Desert.   There were a couple more things,  scraps/fragments hanging on the line,  but i remember vaguely wanting them for some other Cloth as time went on so they were taken.  I wish i'd left them.  Maybe there's a pic somewhere in the Archives.  I'll go look.  or not.

Components.  a word for Important Things.  The components here are just just enough.  Sky.  Earth.  Energy thereof.  Plant People,  the doing of the human,  the Moon.  and First Bird.   Who was a meadowlark.  Every morning.  EVERY morning,  in the still darkness,  but just before coming light,  First Bird would sit Out There,  either on the clothes line or in the single Russian Olive tree.    Was invisible in the dark.  But so much there.  Always.

This cloth was made out of Love for that Bird,  for the Place of that Clothes Line,  for the fragments of cloth.  For Jude teaching that time can be captured and held in old scraps of cloth.  Could become as alive as a Bird.

 

 

Susie has her loom.  And Irene has sent an additional  package with accessories.   From Sedona.

the shipping for the loom was almost $60.  i don't know about the second package.  So if several of us chip in $5 it will truly be from All of Us.  With huge thanks to Irene.

send me an email and i'll send you back Irene's address.

This is so Great.    Love and Love…… 

 

some times,  i will write or draw in the journal book.   thinking about that today,  it's when i want to Place mySelf.  But really, the cloth making  has become the journal.  

In a bin in that back room….i didn't really know what.  and among other things,  i found these seven Cloths that i have kept.  Sat,  long this morning,  looking,  touching,  holding them.  Looking at Why i kept them and why i will continue to Keep them.  Something with each is like no other.  Something with each is important to me in the going of my Making.  So,  they,  in their way are journals.

i see how they are all so "light"….their Grounds,  light,  as the desert where they were created was light Earth.  and how almost immediately,  this changed upon arrival to this Place of the Planet that is so much Forest and dark Earth.  How influenced i am without knowing.  How great this is.  

I will keep these 7 out and keep them within Touch.  daily.  Let them inform me,  let them talk to Cloths that might be coming now.  Telling.

 

 

So,  to be ready for Jude's  Next,  i spent time in  What If.  Spent a LOT of time in Applique.  Just like back when in the workshop class,  What If again applies to everything.

I'm thinking about what i do…cloth collage….and recently including the drawn,  the graphite and ink.

How it has grown from a desire to allow the third element,  the plant dye images,  patterns and designs to share equally.  Not as a component,  but as maybe the "scene" in which the components of cloth and drawings tell story?  Like a stage upon which the storyPlay unfolds?

Or even,  how it seems more,  that they (plant dye) are the planet's elements…earth, sky, desert, forest,  in which the actors (cloth and drawn image)  human,  animal and spirit carry out a certain storyPlay.

Both of these Cloths were very much about this.  Very much What Ifs.  

 

in Language,  there are 4 levels of  being,  the plant dye   "world"  upon which is a Bright Day.  And then the drawing,  the imagined image of a forest spirit,  a deva.  Telling of language from within the world of Cloth fragments that represent the energies of birds,  flowers,  moving water,  mating,  birthing,  dying,  transforming,  seeding,  blooming,  flying,  crawling….the LIFE of the world  in which the deva exists.  

These are good things to think about.  I haven't taken time to do that before.  So…What If…..all this?  Thank You Jude Hill, Spirit Cloth for reminding to begin again.  This is Joy.

 

from the pic on the lap top,  Marti's sacred ordinary.

 

i wonder sometimes about what i write here.  Sometimes have second thoughts,  wonder.  Like last night.  Should i talk about this Place?,  this small metal home?  my feelings about living here?  

or not

maybe not?  because it seems like some kind of hardship?  When it isn't ?  When it's just how it is for now,  or maybe, who knows, for my Forever?  Should i just leave that part out?

and i thought,  in the middle of the night about how much i love word from others about their lives…how they live,  things they wonder about,  things they love,  things they don't love,  like maybe stripped upholstery window treatments?  Would that maybe make me laugh…the dumbness of using any energy to not like that?  

Kay sent a link to a young woman's Utube.   Jonna Jinton in the north of Sweden.  There are several,  but she linked me to recent ones that tell of her great grief over the loss of the forests there to a Huge commercial Wind Farm.   The great sorrow at  needing to leave that land.  She is a photographer,  videographer, writer,  her husband a jeweler.  They have moved.  Their life has gone on.  What i loved a lot was their work to maintain their fire during winter,  then her joy of shoveling snow to "help" the thaw of Spring.  Small things.  Her sitting in a lantern lit barn starting seeds in pots for the garden she hopes to have.  She is young.

What i would want to read in Blogs,  is 

How do people live?  How do they go through their  "ordinary sacred" days as Marti so often says.    And if truly honest,  that would include those days of mumbling about a particular circumstance,  no matter how trivial,  or telling of a deeply difficult grief.

the important thing is….that it's all a part of the Whole.  I think nothing should be left out.  The blog does not serve then,  to help the blogger see clearly,  learn more.  Love more.  And in my case,  to make that connection with me.  To help me know humankind better,  to see my own self in anOther.  

so…not to worry,  ever.   I will say that,  if it is a true tribulation.  If it's just some dukkha…Buddhist…commonly translated as "suffering,  pain,  unsatisfactoriness and painfulness of mundane life.  It is the first of the Four Noble Truths"  Wikepedia  I will say that too.  You can believe me.  I promise.

 

 

at mid summer last year,  Jenny brought two lilac bushes in 5 gal landscape pots.  They sat  there,  being patient,  while there would be intermittant short conversation about where to plant them.  They were for Alyssia,  at A.  They sat.  No one decided.  Finally,  early fall,  i planted them up above the Wall Garden some feet apart in what i envisioned as a tiny Secret Garden there,  in a small cove of Scrub Oak.    Their blossom buds are unlike any lilacs i have ever known before.  They are succulent, plump.  So much so,  they make you want to eat them.  Only a couple individual ones have opened,  but….yup….lilac.  

ADDENDUM:  ok,  i give up.  the "selfie".  i am wide like a frog or a toad.  and maybe that's as it should be?  I tried to fix that but it just got worse.  So,  you'll have to just get the drift

ADDENDUM 2   if you tap the pic i think i become normal.   Whatever that is.

 

 

 

it,  he,  i think,  strolled up.  Slow.  one step,  one step.  I love how they go…one step,  pause,  one step.  This is from the window here at the table.   Puppy watched.  for a LONG time,  just watching as he came slowly.  Double click to see him near the meditation swing.

 

he continued.  That same measured pace.   She got up and  began to stalk,  measuring her pace to his.  Step by step.  She followed him down all along through the old Buck Forest to the far gate where he flew up onto that gate. 

There is a band of them.  I have pics from last week.  The male is magnificant with his display,  like really,  magnificant.  There are 7 females.  I think this is a juvenile male,  exiled.  I've seen him 3 times now.  Alone.