windthread

Done.  I'm Done.  

i listened to Frazey Ford,  over there on the side bar.  Multiple times today,  and watched.   and   I'm done.  You can google the words.

I watched them vote.   after pretending.  Am so done

with pretending.  Just done.  I am going to WATCH for any tiny single thing that any Woman,  WOMAN, does that has the slightest ring of truth and i am going after that,  going to be there for that.    

"my joy,  my joy takes nothing from you"

I thought i needed to have changed my driver's licence to California in order to Vote,  found out today that i don''t.  I am registered to Vote.  I will Vote.  as pathetic as that seems in the moment…i'll Vote.  But beside that.  I am looking for Signs of Life.  Signs of anything that is REAL.

 

 

 

i am for Trees

 

 

for Rocks

 

 

for Flowers.   Alyssia was checking out the Storage Units and came back out to find this bouquet of flowers on her windshield. ??????

i am for Trees,  Rocks,  Flowers.    I am for.    Trees.    Rocks.    Flowers.

"my joy,  my joy takes nothing from you"

i'm looking at specific places that i can document.  Photograph and re photograph as the Season circles on and around.   This is one of the trunks of the Morning Tree community of Live Oaks.   This particular small space,  was a dusty brown.  Bark looking for the last months.  I can't tell you what it looked like when i arrived in December last year…i didn't know to look yet,  didn't recognize it to become what is now my Morning Tree.  and for the rest of the Rain Season,  things were a blur for me.  But i have found my feet.  Some.  Enough.  and i looked out this morning and there was a different world.  The soft green.  As i said,  They Say that Rain Season begins in October.  It did.  October 1st.  just a little.  October 2nd.  same   October 3rd Some, October 4th a LOT.  and that transformation has begun.  It's Intense and Fierce.  Lichen.  Moss.  The WORLD of Lichen and Moss….that are so much major  and critical players  in the drama of this forest,  the dance of this forest Hill.

it's RAINING.  I waited.  Didn't want to close the door.  Now the floor is wet,  there are towels.   

Tay and i had been out,  tying down the tarp over the Doe Goat Shelter.  There was

Wind

making it billow up.

WIND and   THUNDER….THUNDER.  We ran down the Hill to A to see as much of a Horizon as we can and were transported back to New Mexico,  the Storms,  so much a part of life there,  but here….a kind of Magic Show.   We can't see a straight line horizon.  only the approaching darkness,  but the scent of it,  the scent.   and the thrill now,  in our bodies from the Ions.

 

 

What does the Earth here feel?????????????   this anomaly?   Thunderstorm?????  

i had stitched today,  all day off and on.  The Tree.  it was a joy because of Deb's thread  (Deb Lacativa)….in the past,  this kind of stitching had given me a claustrophobic kind of feeling…too dense….but with Deb's thread,  all opens out and there is this Joy.  Light and color,  moving through.  And once again,  it's slow going because i use a single strand.  Separating the 6 strands and using only one at a time.  

so much Grief in this world….i think…for no reason.   I wish i could give a Thunderstorm and a single strand of thread to everysingleperson…it's nothing, really,  but it's so much Enough for Joy

 

this is at the edge of the Hill's forest,  looking down across the meadow to the North East of Alyssia's campsite A.  The Goats have made a good dent in the dry grasses that are there,  but still,  a little less than half remain.  This is probably close to two acres?  An acre and a half?  I'm not good at this.   These dry grasses are everywhere.  All along the front of Campsite B,  here and there in small glades within the whole of the Hill Forest.  All along the highways and roadways all around.  Some native, some invasive but having really,  become native.

This is the Beginning.  They say that the Rains begin in October.  and so it is.  Yesterday,  October 1.  Today,  October 2.   Just morning gentle rain.   But so much a surprise after ZERO since early spring.  Sky Water.

 

the rains will collapse the dry grass and dissolve some of it with the help of microbes,  and some carbon will wash into the soil and become sequestered.  Helping cool the planet.  I love the thought of this.  Love the word   sequestered.

I arrived last year on December 11th.,  missing this transition of  the transformation of a desert summer to a rain forest.  But now,  on the edge.  Part of me will always be the desert creature.  The days of everpresent Rain will wear hard.  But this time i know the summer here,  those months,  and how critical it is,  this magic show.

 

it rained..   IT RAINED.  just some.  just small rain,  but it RAINed.  Doe Goats,  who are loose,  forgot.  They forgot where to go.  They went under the horse trailer,  and it wouldn't work so they went under this Travel Trailer and it didn't work either and so they didn't know what to do  and i went out and down to their gate,  calling….Come,  Come…that light and ok sound…Come,  Come  and they RAN,  to find the Come Come sound and i went along the fence,  along all of it to where their Shelter is and we all went inside.  Me,  Tay and all of Them….inside and under the tarp and it was dry and there was some bedding straw from last year still.  Rain didn't last long.  Tomorrow,  it's supposed to be more.  Stuff with Goats is never ending.

 

bird.  Spirit bird.  Bird.    Crow, specifically.

how would one …..make….a bird?   how would one make a Spirit bird?   What is the difference between  Bird and Spirit Bird?

to the Post Office today and this issue of National Geographic.  

If you are even so inclined,  please support this publication by subscribing.   The quality of the photographs are exceptional and magnificant.  The subscription amount so small to support them.  

and beyond,  each month,  they tell the STORY of this planet Earth,  Who we are,  What we are.

If i could go back in time and bring forward anything from my childhood,  i would bring all those National Geographics that were in the attic,  that my grandfather had subscribed to from the beginning.  I could build my house of them. 

 

 

 

 

 

This,  photographs of common plants revealed in ultraviolet light….Craig P. Burrows.   Is this maybe, ?,  how the Night Beings see?  Moths?,  Bats?  others that i don't even know?  Could this be their night vision?  How this might change everything i know if it were so.

and then…if the above were not enough,  there is a section entitled:  Embark   and this month,  Anne Lamott.  Entitled:  Despite Perils,  Decide to Hope.    I haven't read it yet.  Am saving it for Morning.

 

ok.  Though i don't often spend a great deal of time with  assigning meaning,  i'm looking at my constant relationship with Eyes.   When i used to make the Art Dolls…their faces were carved with my grandfather's pen knife.  I would always begin with an eye.   Drawings and then cloth,   now Cloths with Drawing almost always have eyes.  

Eyes.

Maybe it's because nothing really needs to be "said".  The eye speaks.

i woke last night at around 2:30 am as i do and sat up a while.  Thinking about the eyes of Christine Blasey Ford.  I juiced up this laptop and went to various  news sites and sat,  staring at her eyes.   Then i shut it all down and did Metta.  For her.  For Us.  For me.   i could imagine her in her home with two front doors,  sitting,  awake in the dark at the end of maybe the second longest day in her life.   Her eyes wide.  I sat with her.  Did Metta.

Emrie and i look at National Geographics.   Emrie can touch Eye, Nose, Mouth, Ear.   Emrie knows eyes.  You remember i told of the Nat Geo article of full face transplants,  and tho they were confusing,  because there was no recognizable nose or mouth,  Emrie found and put her finger on the eye.  When we go through the pages,  she likes to have a spoon and she "feeds" the pictures.   A while ago, she immediately saw the eye of the octopus,  i said….eye….and she touched it with her one year old index finger,  then "fed" the octopus with her spoon…to a place she imagined a mouth

i watched.  From the beginning to the end.  I'd not planned to.  Had told self i wouldn't.  Would read about it later.  But i watched.  All day.  Alyssia had appointments about school,  so for the most part,  it was me and Emrie until the bus dropped Julian off at 3:12.  And it was still going. He asked me about it.  I tried to tell him,  "in five words or less".    Meaning being concise.  But he already knew things about it.  He's 9.   So,  i watched all day and it's dark now and i don't know what i can say about it all,  other than i had never imagined,  EVER,  that this would be at issue in this United States of America.   I think how it seems that this angry entitled man will be making decisions for All of Us when Emrie is 21 years.  When Emrie is a woman.  I will be dead then.  But Emrie will be a young woman.