windthread

a Hill

 

in these pics from the realtor….even in them,  the BlueSpirits…..

 

 

 

 

 

Again.  realtors pics taken of the very small cleared spaces of this a little over 5 acres of the foothills.  Most of the space is close to impenetrable with brambles,  bushes,  brush,  small trees.  It's never known human beings before.  or,  at least not the kind who lay claim.  Which they DID,  last eve,  daughter and granddaughter and this morning the signatures were exchanged.  It's for real.  Today granddaughter negotiated for a manufactured home which they are called now,  no more "trailers"  but manufactured homes.  That remains in question.  But if that one doesn't work,  there are some "workers homes" on Craigs List.  These are those same manufactured homes but were used for field workers.  Everything normal in them except the bathrooms.  The bathrooms have more than one toilet and no tubs,  only shower stalls.  more than one sink.  This to acommodate multiple persons in one living space.  Like a lot of California is,  it's farm land.  Around here it's Olive Groves.  If you read the labels ,  your olive oil very well may come from there.  But we are hoping for the Blue House.  We'll see.

so up at the top of the hill,  daughter and her man will build their tiny home (or not so tiny).  Hill House.  and then,  Alyssia and the kids in some kind of manufactured home at the bottom,  near the road.  the Blue House.  and then the Goats Houses will be arranged.  and then 

and then,  the Baba Yaga House for the Old Nana,  who would be me,

 somewhere in those brambles and bushes.  A one room affair with a porch/deck.  Plain.  as far into the brambles as is practical.  That all remains to be seen.  The Land,  as it is right now,  would allow NO VIEW of these three places one to another.  

So.  if it goes how it might,  by August.  When Emry (subject to change) is born.  All might be in Place.

spiraling small care FULL paths on that Hill,  foot and hoof paths,  we will go slow,  making these,  following a design that wants to be followed,  letting the Land there know our smell.  

i woke this morning feeling like the whole center of me had cracked WIDE OPEN and extended far beyond the edges of my physical form.  

 

i baked a Celebration Pie.  I think it's PERFECT.  haven't tried it yet.  Would rather drink some wine.

How so Totally Amazing Life IS.

 

 

 

Nina of Ruit Farm in Maine….ruitfarm.wordpress.com….is READY.  Those of us who really wish there was something happening in the Goat world here can go there and experience things to come.  These moments of hers now are what i look forward to so much when we are settled in the Next Place.  So much floods back of that first spring they came  here,  when 14 kids were born.  All without a hitch.  Go check it out and be on hand for the big moments.  and please leave her a message that you came.

and then….Deb Lacativa …morewgalo.blogspot….her today's post about a call for work.  threadsofresistence.blogspot.com

 

is Love a kind of Resistance?  For me it is….as i wrote about the other day,  that i won't let what's happening take my heart down,  i won't let it take my reality away,  my days that are hand and hand with this Planet Earth….is that a kind of Resistance? and would this cloth be relevant?   Entries need to be a minimum of 20×20.  and so this walnut dye cotton.  Down in the low right hand corner is the place for the Lizard.  So.  I look at it pinned and wonder.  I've never sent anything for jury,  well, Cloth.  Back in the day,  i sent the "dolls",  the fiber figures.  I kind of like doing that.  it's about believing in what you make.  But in this particular instance,  i'm not sure it's relevant….but then,  who cares.  I might just do it.

 

 

 

 

mice are nice.  They have great Place in this life.  A mouse or two,  now and then,  are well,  ok.  Back in the day,  Tazmeena took care of this part of our shared life.   But since she has retired from the work,  i need to pick up the slack.  I don't know what's happened recently.  In the past i would put the peanut butter cheese snack cracker in the Tin Cat and over the course of a week or so,  there would be a few mice to drive up the road, around the corner and to the shady place on the irrigation ditch where i would set them free and everything would feel just ok.  Recently,  Not.  Every night,  and sometimes during the day too,  there is a mouse in the no kill trap.  so far i would guess for sure over a dozen.  Sometimes there have been 2 at a time.  This isn't ok.  i don't know why, either.  They do limit themselves to that second shelf of the pantry.  Aren't running around elsewhere,  but still,  it's not ok.

also,  some seem to know how to escape from the trap.  I hear them in there during the night but by morning,  they and the cracker are gone.   So the routine has become:  hear the comotion in the trap,  get out of bed and cut two pieces of mailing tape,  cover the open place where mice go IN,  but also the place where some mice  go OUT.  For whatever reason,  they don't fool with the tape.   So they are stuck till i get around to giving them a ride in the morning.  It's annoying.  Not needing to go anywhere and needing to get presentable,  comb hair etc. and get in the car or truck and drive a mouse.  I have become resentful.

last night for whatever reason i put the trap with the mailing tape on the shelf next to the Morning Chair.  Easy in view.  and as morning went on,  i saw a pink nose,  an eye.  I have all along imagined them to be thirsty after consuming a whole peanutbuttercheese cracker…empathy.    But seeing the nose and the eye…

i filled the eye dropper with water and put it there and the mouse immediately came and drank,  like a hampster or guinnea pig might,  drinking.  I watched.  Compassion.  The mouse is just being its best self.  Who am i to judge that?

 

it's Good.

 

the orange with the holes.  Because it's about the Big Going,  and because i will keep this one,  i can put this small fragment on.  It's from Jude.  a long time ago.  I just have held it now and then,  loved what it is,  so fragile and so full of Magic.  But it can be stitched on here,  now.

 

and the scrap of the WW2 kimono that i got at Rag Stock in Minneapolis  (where Prince used to shop) the mars violet scrap with once again, the circles that means Magic to me….why?…..how there is so so little of it left.  Back in the day of making  "dolls"  i used it to make the bodies of the Coyote Women.  i can stitch this down here.

and this black/white that i treasure.  Again from Jude.  it's on the inside of the cloth too…just to the right but mostly the B side there.  How if i ever were to find something similar i would faint.  Why do i love it so much?  Well…black/white is also about Magic,  the the print here is vague enough, organic enough, and the weave of the cloth

so i can stitch this down too.  it's all there is.  but i can.

i'm thinking now about what to Take and What to leave.  There's stuff like bowls and pie plates.  actual plates.  cast iron pans.  stainless steel pots that i got for the cheese making.  a whole range of pyrex casserole thingys.  canning jars.  all the stuff in the kitchen junk drawer.  I instilled a strong sense of a kitchen junk drawer in all my kids,  first and grand.  the junk drawer.  which shifts to tools.  all the tools.  the needed and the useless but beauty Full.  two circular saws, an electric chain saw,  the wood splitter.  3 wheel barrows and another thing like a wheel barrow for hauling goat feed.  Rakes.  shovels of all kind.  hand saws.  Picks,  large and small.  stake pounder, can't think of the name,  vehicle battery charger.  an enormous assortment of screws/nails, washers etc.  a two horse horse trailer even tho we will need a 4 horse for all the Goats.  This is right off the top of my head.  and then there's all the Goat stuff.  bowls, tubs, fencing,  baling wire,  wire cutters to cut those things,  t posts.  

and then…harder…stuff in the house…cigar boxes, wood boxes,  all manner of funny art supplies, the old broken Viking Sewing Machine,  my mother's 30's Singer.  and harder,  outside,  the Janet Chairs,  that Mirror,  the Wood on the gate and  out at the Raft.  

and rocks.  

Soon,  if the deal goes through,  i'll know better when i need to really take all this wanderingWonder seriously and begin.  Right now,  i can just get used to the feel of it.

 

Update on Fate.  16 months old.  Favorite book:  Hop on Pop

 

 

 

it began quietly enough.  Not having any idea where or how to start,  i just started.  And then realized i'd not accounted for a "back",  so just set it on this muslin,  intending to move to one side and rip it.   Things went from there.

 

 

it has a tail.

 

everywhere i look now,  it's like Still Life image…like my eyes have become a camera….taking a single moment and holding that moment just as it is,  in just a moment.  Here….a moment of February, 2017.  When there is that time of such great PAUSE between the intense momentum ,  when things are still.    I look at all that rock,  the sand stone that has maintained through years most because of the foot travel over and over and over.  

 

just this today.  A LOT of telephone.  

there is a place there that seems right.  Details will be sought.  it's a HILL.  with a stream.  With brambles and trees.  6 acres which is enough.  a nearby friendly neighbor, a llama  and a hound dog patrolling the road.  specific info needed about running electric line, about water.  But maybe this is IT.  Things won't take long.  the Girl is due to arrive the first of August.  I'd like to be there,  for her birth and her beginning days.

 

after reading Michelle's post with the Wisdom of Heather Cox Richardson,  i was thrown back to those days that were such a personal nightmare,  the last years of the person i was married to.  How he actually used the technique of chaos.  And i remembered what held me then was the determination to NOT LET HIM TAKE my SELF from me.   That no matter,  no matter the outcome,  i would not let him take my Self from me.  I would Stand.  Stand in my Self and face whatever it might be.  and i thought of this reading her words,  her

W isdom.  W is for wisdom.  and i thought that no matter the outcome,  i will NOT let my Self be taken from me.  I will go forward inside the self of whatever it is i understand to be Right and i will not give up.

and then W went on to washing more scraps and lying them out to dry.

and then W was for WOOD,  nearing the last of the pile.  Splitting.  Bringing in for Warmth.  W again.

 

and then the rest of the day was W also.

W for wishing,  W for wanting,  

W for Waiting.   and Waiting   and Waiting

until the phone call.

the Without a doubt ultrasound.  W is for without a doubt.

we have a Girl.  

i could write that a thousand times and with a zillion eeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEs…..We have a girl.

I have no idea what this really means to me,  but it means a LOT.   Somehow it gives it all the edge it needs.    If i'd been asked ahead of time about anyone  having another child,  i would have voted no.  Not now.  Not in this present world.  No.  No more.  But i wasn't asked and really,  no one was asked.  Alyssia wasn't asked.  There was simply an Appearance.  There was the decision about what to do about that Appearance.  and there was no real WILL  to "do" anything.  And the days went along until time was up and there was just going.   

and now….here we have it.  A girl child is floating in that Womb.  and it's beyond

Wonder FULL.

  

there was an EarthQuake.   Polvadera is on direct fault line…Rio Grande Rift.   There have been a few other quakes in my time here.  This,  the longest and most strongly felt.  Everything quivered.  Goats stood,  facing one direction,  still….alert.  Tay bolted in through the dog door.  Late in the day a News Helicopter circled and circled over head.   I stood on the porch and waved up…maybe i will be on TV tonight?  Neighbor Margie said she'd watch for me.

Three of Us in particular.

deemallon.wordpress.com

imgoingtotexas.blogspot.com,  Liz

ravenandsparrow.typepad.com   Dana

feeling impelled.

i wake,  every morning now,  my dreaming still clinging,  and as i walk through the hallway to the Morning Chair,  i understand that this is not "politics".  This is something entirely different.  This is something very Dark and insidiously seeping through in the GUISE of politics.  And as i commented to Liz,  i am not good at the details.  I am a "bigPicture" kind of mind.   And the big picture is not good.  There are hundreds of thousands of human beings on a razors edge.  This is NOT politics.  I FEEL it.

so i am grateFULL to those among us who are more capable than i am.

in the Shop

to feed the Goats

 

the "face" is back.  scraps are moving.  Face.  eyes,  nostrils,  lips, chin.  That's all it takes.  Face.

yesterday in a Comment,  Mo said

Storyboard

and a light went on.  The WALL,   the Wall!  How long it's really been since i USED the wall for how it works….i'd gotten lost from it.

 

 

going through the baskets just pulling scraps out without reason,  maybe or maybe not to be used, and seeing how dusty they are from what blows in the windows and then from Tazmeena sleeping among them

so i washed them in a small bowl and here they can be pinned to dry overnight.  There will be more to choose from tomorrow.  I almost lost the Sun but didn't.   Cloth that the face was drawn on was too white,  so did a Tea dye and most of the drawing was lost.  ?

 

 

Whether i use these on this Cloth or not,  i really like them together so will keep them that way.  

 

work Away.  Town.  Home.  Some people go to the Caribbean mid winter.  I went OutSide.  64 degrees, cloudless,  Wind was elsewhere.  BeautyFULL.

 

not much time for anything so just played with some paper pieces left from the Matchbox collages