windthread

Swamp cooler.  Evaporative cooler.

Outside the Room.   When daughter Jenny and i hacked through the wall of this trailer and turned the screened in porch into the ROOM,  that summer,  we put in this cooler.   I had very little money then,  none of us did.  So they found the smallest most reasonable one.  Today,  i would have researched for one that is

quiet

the most quiet.  I so so love quiet.  But…it Whirrs cheerfully along.

maybe you can see how it works.  There is a line to a water source that the yellow pump pulls in and sends up and out through the spokes that drip down into the aspen pads that are on the walls.  As the water that soaks the pads evaporates,  because of the whirring fan,   cool air is generated and blown in to the house.

shredded aspen pad

 

 

the pump sits in a little dumb plastic basket that is supposed to filter out debris,  and i guess it sort of does?  hmmmm….and the square thing on the right is the "float",  which monitors the need or not for more water.  Water from the Source is left constant.  The float turns it on or off.  Asks for more or not.  it's ingenious.

 

this is the configuration for Source.  A kind of wing nut thing…i don't know the proper names,  but a valve.   The water is left in the ON position so that water is free to enter the cooler.  There is the

knob,  or whatever it might be called that can be turned on and off to a hose when afixed…the hose, when afixed here means water to the Goat tub.

this is inside the house.  in cold times,  it's stuffed with two pillows to keep the cold out

 

the cover and you can see where moisture…ie" Rain marked the wall…

 

 

 

 

if you look at Her from different angles,  it's it whole other story.  This morning, with the flash.

 

 

i've been wanting to get back to where ever it was when i made this Cloth.  It's a kind of aching.  But i haven't been able to.

 

She will help me.

 

Everything i've learned about cloth making,   Jude taught me.  Everything i will learn about my own visions, now, will come from the Winter Bitch.

Living with Art.  Living with SomeThing that is truly one of a kind,  something that could not possibly be re produced,  even if Great Effort was made….it wouldn't work.  It would not be

alive

She is alive.  She is so totally from Jude's hand.  There can be no mistake. and it wasn't because she, Jude, looked anywhere for inspiration.  There is no where to look.  She went InSide.  Found Winter Bitch.  or,  was found?

I love her teeth.  She loosens my mind.

These words are stilted but i have to begin somewhere.

 

 

 

 

i'd talked a while back about how i am.  How i will just walk past things,  day unto day,  month unto month.  Just walk past.  And then suddenly,  i will DO something,  seemingly out of no where.  

This is a prime example and maybe the worst.   The top glass of this window,  my south bedroom window,  has been broken for only the god thing knows how long.  And then i guess about 2 years ago the bottom  glass also broke from being rattled by Wind.  You can see shreds of duct tape hanging where i'd mended it sorta at one point.  InSide the house,  i have thick plastic over this window in the cold times and then rolled up in warm times but just rolled,  so if Wind is in the mood to blow rain around the corner,  i can pull it down and staple gun it to the wall.  

Well, today was The day.  For no known reason.  but i was going into town to get the stuff for the swamp cooler and before i went,  i measured it all,  before the Goats came back there,  early,  because i had to stand on a ladder,  and i don't do that when Goats are around because they get excited by anything different and rub their heads and push eachother and push the thing and i don't want to be ON the thing when it gets shoved,  so early.  And i went to the hardware/lumber supply with a print out pic of the window with the measurements (thank you the functioning HP printer)  so they could know exactly what i'm talking about but they couldn't find their book that has windows to order so i left the pic with them and they will order one on Monday.  So OK and TA DA.

Before i left,  i got an email from Jan the dog trainer.  

At the end of that looooooong hot day yesterday that had nary a single wisp of breeze,  i lie in bed, my head under the afore mentioned rolled up plastic and there was the most elegant of soft breeze wafting through,  and as i lie there being grateful,  i noticed that there was also the smell of smoke so i got up and looked and yes,  down the way there was a red glow.  Standing and watching a while i could see that it was quite a ways down so i just went back to sleep.

Jan's mail told me that she had managed to evacuate all the Goats,  Including, Bless Her Heart,  Sunny Ray.  Them,  the two pigs that are still in yard pens and the horse.  They were all just OK at some friend's place in town.  She did this by loading them all in the stock trailer.  She had to leave the sheep the pasture pigs and chickens.   No electricity there,  the poles burned to ash.  But tomorrow,  they hope to get it up.  Then she will haul everyone back home.  Her place is in the Bosque…the forest that runs either side of the Rio Grande river.  Many places around her were burned.  Her land was spared.

so far

she has the perimeter of her acres bulldozed.  It worked.  Knock on Wood.  Not over yet.  There is Volunteer Fire Personnel .  3 counties came.  And the Socorro Fire Department.  And all the helicopters i heard this morning…for them.  Dropping retardant on homes.  They have saved all homes but many outbuildings gone,  including the large GreenHouse that belongs to Nolena,  an incredible woman who has worked for maybe 15 years to establish an organic farm.

Thunderstorms were forecast for late today,  but none came.  Just Wind,  which fans the fires.  So…we wait.  I am so touched that she took Sunny Ray.  She could have easily left him with the sheep,  to his Fate.  But she took him with the 8 Goats,  does and babies,  the two pigs and the horse.   I look at this and think how we work ON each other.  How,  by becoming Friends,  we take into ourselves things from the other.  I am Grateful.  She said he is fine.  Has his own little temporary space.  Blessings upon Us All.

I took the camera when i went into town thinking i'd take some pics of that area on the way back but when i turned onto the road there,  there were state police and they would not let anyone through that didn't live there so i drove on and a ways away where it was high and i thought i could get a pic of the smoke still rising,  the burnt Bosque

 

put it on telephoto to catch a helicopter with something dangling down from it…and this is what was on the camera when i got home.  

 

 

before i left this morning,  i put a splint on that Eggplant.  She was limp,  but her youngest growth was strong.  Who knows?  maybe,  maybe not.  But keep her upright………….

 

 

this is my neighbor Kenny Bustamante's field.  Chile plants.  When i went into town this morning,  there were two men with hoes,  hoeing weeds between the rows.  It was already hot.  They worked.

When there is the conversation about immigrants,  i see it as something so familiar.  How it is here.  Tell me.  WHO of us i know would hoe this field in Heat?  No one.  None of my children.  No one i know.  But for some,  it means everything.  Everything.  They worked.  I didn't take a pic of them working.  it felt creepy.  But i took this pic of the field when i went to drop off the mouse that made it's way into the tin cat this afternoon.  Too hot to leave it till morning without water,  so i drove it.

So……………all this……………but there's MORE and the MORE is beyond MORE

 

 

The Winter Bitch. 

Jude's Cloth

The Winter Bitch.   She arrived.   

I'd emailed Jude,  not ever imagining that it would be possible,  imagining that She would be long claimed otherwise,  or kept close,  but after so many Lookings,  i emailed.

IF,  IF she is still there,  and IF she can leave,  CAN she come here????????????????

Here she IS.  Winter Bitch in Heat.  On the West Curtain.  

She is for me a Working Cloth.  I want to talk about that more.  But in this moment,  i see Her here and am amazed and am so 

so

so

looking forward to Working with her

 

plan was to go into town early and get parts for the cooler,  but i started watching the live feed to Muhammad Ali's funeral and the day was quickly heating up to over 100 degrees so i just  sat quietly watching all the people say goodbye.  

 

 

i can't imagine being a Farmer.  How you expend every effort and Heart, daily, year round.  Sometimes it all works out.  Sometimes it doesn't.

 

 

i'd taken these pics this morning so i could ease my mind someday if stuff doesn't work out.  Could see how i'd tried and how it WAS going all just ok.

Must have known….when i went by everyone this evening,  one of the Eggplant Plants was all limp.  One out of 4.   Tay's  latest thing is running around with an almost 4ft piece of wood and that's the corner of the raised bed she cuts close to…my guess is that her branch angled down and swiped the Eggplant.  So…ok…there's still Three.    It's been 100 degrees for 3 days now,  tomorrow again and then down to low 90's.  A lot of HEAT,  100 degrees for plants that are setting blooms.  

 

i moved the two chairs you can actually SIT in and the table around to the East side of the Old Woman Apricot….where there is shade during the day.  It seems that the kids ARE coming in July so i do small things everyday toward that.  

and finally.

 

a scrap appeared

 

it's her dress…her body…

i have no idea if she is "there" for eyes other than mine….standing there on that Rim,  her arms outstretched???   She is so clear to me

When i woke in the night,  i woke to the thought that there is a woman who is 2 years younger than i am,  who is exuberant…Exuberant….at the thought of being the president of the united states.  And i was stricken by how amazing that is.    That she feels Ready and like,  really Ready for that.   How amazing.  I really can't Imagine it.  But she can.  And though it hasn't made much of an impression for me,  the first woman president,  like,  so……, nothing special,  but i realized that i DO internally experience it differently.  I'm sure that i would never have woken up with the same sense of amazement about a male candidate.  What's the difference,  i'm wondering.  well…she's 

like me

but she wants to do this.  She feels capable and READY for all that it entails.  And i'm letting that sink in.  I have watched the physical toll that the presidency has taken on Obama.  It will exact the same from her.  But she is Ready.  Wants it.   eeee…..

 

ADDENDUM:

after the above,  i walked over and sat down on the futon,  picked up the Cloth and looked at how so so small this figure is…really small,  and felt the weight of it,  the "hand"  and was taken by it all.  I often wonder about continuing with this Making…as in what's it FOR ,  but then this moment…seeing her, in her smallness on this rim of plant dye marks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

morning,  squatting,  holding the hose to flood the shell peas,  that altered state of Drift,  mind is nowhere everywhere,  and brain…brain…said:  look down

 

sitting quietly.   light of pic is tweeked so you can see h/ir.   In reality, it was dark and cool.  It might be SandRock.  I can't know till i see the others.  SandRock is the eldest.   Old.  The size of a small grapefruit.   an Old Toad.  from the beginning here.  A very deep deep Joy.

 

in the shop

 

and here we Go.  three pieces, stitched together with invisible baste [ Jude Hill ]  and 

ready.

for what,  i have NO clue.  None.  

 

 

what i've always identified as the Toad Egg cloth.   A bolt end on the $1 a yard sale table at  Walmart, maybe 6 or 7 years ago??  2 yds maybe.  And these strands are taken off that Face that lived on the wood mast of the Raft over a circle of seasons…faded,  dirty with dust….

also this cloth for those strips i used to make the green bean trellis just a while ago,  and also tied into the Young Locust as Wind banners 

 

 

it's seeming to be Growing,  the thing of talking at the once a week trip to the Grocery Store.  Today,  conversation about a 97 yo woman just down the road from here…just beyond the gravel pit,  who needs looking in on at 11 am every day.  And just before that running in to Pajaro (bird) and his wife whose name i can not even attempt to put here in phonetics…it's how Spanish is such a combination of letters that are all combined softly in your mouth…and then so Open,  the sounds,  so a lot of air combines with them…not blunt and sharp like english but anyway,  them who i haven't seen in a really LONG time who are growing a HUGE garden and in case my green beans don't come true,  i can get some from them and they will be glad to be enlisted to be the builders of the winter buck hut.  And then Jan the dog trainer with a long conversation about the new Vet,  a buck she's looking at in Sholow, Az etc.   I might need to accept that it's not just a quick run for food,  but that it's going to be more.  And allow for that.  And getting back,  just as the today's storm hit,  being pelted by very large rain drops as i brought in the groceries,  Tay running along side 

 

before i left,  looking at these…thinking how much i like how they somehow just become a part of their surroundings…and to say…the blue of the denim futon cover…it's not at all that intense/bright…this camera reads blue in an interesting way

 

 

back home,  looking at these.  Before i continue dying anything,  i need to sit and think what i am wanting the cloth for.  The really interesting Marking….is it something that i can work with?  as in add cloth to?….or is it just so much what it IS,  of its own self,  that it would stand alone?,  as in a backing?

but if it's BeautyFull…the Other side of a cloth…is almost a waste of its Beauty?  or is it?  

a lot of questions.

After the storm,  Tay went out.  It was about an hour or more before i went out to feed and i saw that the gate had been blown open.  Wide Open.  But after having had an open gate for over an hour,  here Tay was,  waiting for me to appear.  I imagine that she DID go out and take a look around,  who knows how far around,  but she took her look and came back home to wait for me to come out.

Tay is the Best dog.

 

 

 

yes.  it's true.  that all that nice ordering of cloths in their designated baskets

isn't working out for me.

Came home from work away,  feeling uhhhh,  stuck and well,  stuck  so i sorted through all that was on the table,  just little scraps and pieces of paper and thread wads etc.   Cleaned it with a wet cloth.  and made a pile.

 

just things that appealed to me in the moment,  like,  wanted to be together and immediately i felt better.  so i fooled with them

had to look long at this scrap…of Deb Lacativa….it's all that's left of it,  so i feel like i can't use it cause it's all that is left of its Brilliance and Beauty  and i need to KEEP it because it FEEDS me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so these.  and then also Representative Filemon Vela of somewhere in south Texas…i read…said to D Trump,…."you can take your border wall and shove it up your ass"……

these things

 

and last night…that storm…went like this….

 

 

 

so many tomato blossoms,  the peppers,  both Yellow Hot and Bell are blossoming too.  Egg Plants becoming robust.   All else also Yes.    I slow drip water.  And to Saskia's comment,  the permaculture term i couldn't think of ….Swales.  Swales.  what a beauty full word, Swales.  

A storm is riding the Rim to the west,  dark clouds,  thunderman…so to put this here before that comes.  I will need to track it to know when to hurry out and Feed.

 

i finished it on Friday.   I don't know what to "name" it.   But as soon as i do,  i'll put it over in the shop.

 

i don't know where to go next.   and it occured to me that maybe it's because everything is so orderly with the cloths…divided into their Color Baskets.  They can't co~mingle.  They can't arrange themSelves so i can Notice?   I might un Do that.  

And i realize that for as much as i look at Tay,  which is a LOT,  i don't know how her ear goes….

and this,  from BrainPickings,  Maria Popova

as i read along,  i could FEEL my BRAIN absorbing the words,  creating images from those words for me.  I could FEEL it….like feel it functioning…was a really interesting phenomena…that the words i was reading were Feeding image into my BRAIN  that was snapping away, absorbing ….That's something new and i really liked it a Lot

"  We have to be willing to accept uncertainty and incomplete knowledge,  and always be ready to update our beliefs as new evidence comes in….Our best approach to describing the universe is not a single, unified story but an interconnected series of models appropriate at different levels.  Each model has a domain in which it is applicable, and the ideas that appear as essential parts of each story have every right to be thought of as "real".  Our task is to assemble an interlocking set of descriptions based on some fundamental ideas,  that fit together to form a stable planet of belief."

Sean Carroll

The Big Picture

i read this and then wrote it out in my stenographers notebook where i put stuff and when writing it out is when i realized that FEELING of my Brain spinning and clicking and flashing in Neon…YES!  because this so much is a grouping of WORDS that describes the ongoing process of the conversations between Alyssia,  my granddaughter and me,  this is IT and to see it in black and white on the screen was ….well…..

so i typed it out for her in an email because i don't know how still to cut and paste,  but the pleasure of typing it out again was Great and now the pleasure of typing it out and putting it here is equally as Great….

ADDENDUM:

going out to Feed.  I fill the buck Goat's water bowls irregularly…as needed.  There are just four of them.  Two per bowl.

but the Doe Goats,  i dump and then  fill their water tub each evening now in hot weather.  Almost always it takes those 24 hours for the water to be drunk and evaporate.  But tonight,  i dumped it and put the hose in to fill and Ginger came immediately,  stood waiting, watching and when the water level rose to the point she could drink,  she did.  She drank.  and drank.  and drank.   And there was a similar phenomenal sensation watching this as with feeling my BRAIN earlier…but this…it's feeling with my whole body self….the intense and oh so Beauty FULL  Thing of a Goat drinking.  How they put their mouths into the water and pull  pull pull in water…pull, swallow, pull. swallow,  pull swallow over and over…there is such a fine strength to it.  Drinking.  Drinking water.