windthread

it's beginning,  finally,  to become a rhythm

 

what is given still to come  and the final figure that returns to Mother Night.   More Inktense.

 

 

 

just this.  Quietly.  Just here.

after work decided to just try…see how it might go

 

too small.  hair too crazy

 

too small again.

 

but it's the great thing about thread.  Just take it Out and Try again.

 

a more clear pic of the Night Things

SUN and WIND  perfect to dry the Wet,  which it did.

 

so the 70 person sits just before and at first light.  Sits as in how we do to meditate.  Sitting.  and as i worked today,  i thought about how this Cloth might not make a bit of sense if not for reading along here as it goes.   That's something to consider.

 

interestingly,  she is much clearer  "in person".  Her three strands of hair blow up by Wind.  Hadn't quite intended it to be that way,  or,  it was not deliberate,  just how the thread went,  but it made me remember how Chogyam Trungpa said…."practice like your hair's on fire"

 

the Cradle of Mother Night got it's twigs at either end.   The Night Things got stitched down,  some.  The Threads of Night began.  How far do they reach?   Trying to feel that…

All day little Flash cried.  All day off and on the Doe Goats cried.  All day they were working on the memory of yesterday when it was hard to eat fast enough before the Water fell from the Sky.  Even tho it was Sun filled and almost a little warm except for Wind,  they wanted  to be reassured.  

Eight more days and one more SUNday till Solstice and i hunger for Indian Food.  Spice.  I want spice.

 

 

mostly like this

 

some like this

 

some moments like this

and i tried to post it last night but the electricity kept blinking on and off till i just lay me down in that cradle of Mother Night and went off to the Place of Dreams

 

in this one circle of Seasons.

Beginning with this time of such small days.

 

 

 

This is not how it is,  but is the beginning of trying to see how it is.  It's the night that needs SEEing, where it begins,  where it cradles,  where it begins letting go.  Night Rules this circle of season.  The time of dreaming and as that guy at the 7 Eleven on the Rosebud Reservation said,  the time of Looks Within.   How great,  that so small exchange over 20 years ago as i drove across the continent,  stopping where i was caught between day/night by a Sun Set to end all Sun Sets and at the 7 Eleven on the Rez he just asked where i was going.  Not where i was coming from,  but Where i was going and i told him more than he needed to know and that's all he said.  Time of Looks Within.

mostly did OutSide things…collecting dog shit,  cleaning water tubs,  rearranging Goat Yards,  clearing the big back gate in so Rebecca and i can switch out futon couch frames.  But before all that i 

 

finished my Inktense Library.   I have that 72 color set and as you can see if you double click,  it's excessive and unnecessary.   Even tho it's quite grand looking at it here.   And i smile at the differences in me and Liz.   I had to put stones because i didn't cut the freezer paper well enough and my edges are curling.   It's on tea dye muslin.  Have never used just white with Making,  so did the library on what i might really use.  It makes me Happy to look at it.

I will look more and pick out the colors that i think i might really use and bundle them separately and maybe put the ones i don't think i will back into the really great tin they came in.  Who knows.

and i ordered  Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic today to send to the California people,  which are really everyone.   Grandson Jeff,  the father of baby Fate is now Home with them.  Going between Alyssia's and his mother's homes for time being.  He is GOOD and solid and looking forward.  I will also send him drawing pencils and micron pens.  He has a true Gift for drawing.  Always has.  I hope that he uses the stuff,  AND the book,  no matter how kind of superficial it might be?, i don't know cause i have not read it, but i hope he uses it all to Hold him as he works toward a more solid self.  Drawing can do that.  I am sure of it.  And he CAN draw.  And he can draw with Alyssia's kids.  It would be his gift to them.  

And so we go.

 

 

 

last night i dreamed things that i could not put my hand on this morning and all day,  i have done the things i know to do to "call them back",  but i can't,  or,  haven't been able to yet.  But like It Will,  a really great thing happened.  Nanette of    stitchandsow-homeandgarden.blogspot  emailed.  She linked me to an interview between Richard Fidler and Elizabeth Gilbert.

here's what you type in:  radio.abc.net.au/programitem/peRPQ6ax03

and there it will be.   And she was right.   I DID like it Very Much and even more,  it gave me a glowing  key to the Something that i am working on now,  even though i'm not sure what the Something is.  There were many things the interview gave me,  not the least,  an excellent interchange of Interview…how they danced through it together…beautiful….i will need to listen again a couple times more,  but what i came away with that i am holding in the palm of my hand right now,  is that thing of Curiosity.   And i really don't have a way to talk about it right yet,  but i have found myself missing that Best and most Great Friend, Marge…Marjorie Burke Price that died a long time ago,  but when we had each other,  we were a glorious pair of Curious Women.  We wondered about Everything and found joy in the wondering never needing to "get any place" with it all,  but just the wondering itself was so so elegant.  How i miss her energy in my life.  When she died,  she was in her early 70's.  I was in my just barely 40's.   We were perfect together.  So fine tuned to our easy way of just going.  

lately, well, really for a while,  i have found self missing that kind of companionship,  being urged on by some one else's Being,  and maybe that's why i find the granddaughter Alyssia such an incredibly satisfying friend….she is really nothing But wondering at this point in her life.  and i think i have found myself having developed some kind of "crust"….or dryness of surface that holds too much in place.  I find myself sensitized  to the sense of "already knowing" in myself and in others….the thing of Already Having Decided So Much.  Of   Liking This and NOT Liking That.   Opinions.   For me it's not so much opinions,  but more that i have fallen into thinking that i should be kind of Formed by now….

Why?

Well….quite obviously,  i don't know what i'm wanting to think or say at this point,  so i will just let it go, but that word….Curious.   i want to sit with it.  It feels very very good.  Curiosity….Wonder.  NOT knowing and really,  not wanting to.

 

Spent time looking at this.   is very Random,  i was seeing it as just some kind of Sampler of what i was learning from Jude way way back in the beginning of my time at Spirit Cloth.  What?…7 years ago? maybe even 8?,  i don't know but this was in the beginning and i was so star struck with what might happen with fabric scraps and thread,  i was so FULL of possibility and had no idea.  just so much NO IDEA.  But i was full of  Happiness and Curiosity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At Old Cowboy's….steam cleaning the carpet throughout.  Crushing boxes and recycle.  LAST dump run loaded into truck.   Grocery store,  Feed store.  Bring in wood and like in the old cartoons,  "Night Falls".

 

but at the grocery,  bought my first Ever roll of freezer paper so i can make the Intense Library that Sharon showed….which i know will prove to be invaluable.  I am sentimentally attached to that first little strip i did,  will love it forever,  but this will make a big difference.  There is enough freezer paper in this roll for 20 or 40 lifetimes,  so if anyone wants some,  i have Way More Than Enough to SHARE.  Since i am not fond of flat cloth,  as in unwrinkled cloth,  am pretty certain this Library is the only time i'll use it????  Never say Never

 

AND I FOR GOT TO SAY

that as i have done for so long,  while i was there,  i ran a load of laundry.  And because the arc of Day is so small,  i threw the sheets and pillowcase in the dryer.   Just now,  i made my bed.  remembered that i forgot to say how grateful i am for that washing machine of Old Cowboy's.   How i can do two things at once instead of sitting there dull witted at the Laundromat unless some Navajo people are laundering and i can listen to the language and imagine, exchange smiles with the kids.  I have spoken before about how much i love clean sheets.  It's almost orgasmic.  Maybe, really better and more than orgasmic.    When that house is 

gone

as in,

gone from me,  from him,

i will return with constantsy to the Bubble Machine,  the laundromat.  Which has it's pluses, really, but …..well,  i will miss Old Cowboy's machine.  The ease of it.  The convenience.

 

 

 

what if i put stars?????  Jude's thread beads…stars??????????????

 

and then, of course,  stars have a Moon.   The moon and Sun here are from Saskia.

 

what does this look like?   That 70 person making her way

 

Terri Windling wrote on Dec. 4th blog post about Elizabeth Gilbert's new book….Big Magic.  She really likes it.  Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat PrayLove  which i never read,  but how she talks about Big Magic….well….

she writes about the poet Jack Gilbert,  how he told his students  "they must live their most creative lives as a means of fighting back against the ruthless furnace of this world"  creative meaning Making.  Making absolutely anything and everything…Making.  Making what's in you to Make.  ok.

ruthless furness and i thought from those two words about the Gmail News that i have.  I thought how so many have TV,  Television…what a funny word,  sounding archaic,  Television,  but TV,  maybe flat screen,  TV in their HOME,  how it might be to have TV in my home and i recoil……..how it must be to have the  flashing images of Stuff happening which really IS a ruthless furnace….to have that thing visually in my Home…i would be insane.  I would become pulp.

so thinking

i light the fire

 

dogs curl

 

keep adding till it's HOT.  Cat on the bed,  waiting.  And finally,  i let go of this day and go lie down between the sheets,  under the covers,  i think about the Loving Kindness,  Metta meditation,  May i be safe.

safe.  fire is burning and will go into the hours of the night,  will burn out before morning but still those moments small in comparison when it's cold and i relight the fire and it burns again into a new day.

How Crazy this world is.  How Crazy this country is,  this country where i live…crazy crazy  stupid but so ok…it's the time i live in.  So i build my fire.  I make stuff.  ok.