windthread

here i am…this cloth of Nothing that i somehow like very much and somehow also want to be an altar cloth.   Somehow is a big word here.  i think it might repeat a lot.  it Somehow is about my sense of the godthing.  and i might as well say right away, that all i have is Questions…about the godthing.  i have some experience, having lived this long,  that is deep Mystery to me….but leads me no closer to an "image" of what i might think is god.  and maybe as i go along,  i might change that to Spirit.  i am more at home with Spirit.  my sense of Spirit is very Strong.  again,  from experience.  but then,,,,where/from what does Spirit Come?  so these are big thoughts.  and somehow (again) ,  i want to work them with this cloth.    maybe it can't happen.  but i want to try.

maybe it will be a Cloth of Trying.  that would be good enough.  Trying is good.

so at about 7 oclock of the oh so vague circle you can see some blue that wasn't there before.

 

this is a cloth i made when i first began on the MotherShip.  i was guessing by looking.  it's missing a scrap of cloth right in the center that i took off to use elsewhere.  but it's my Clothesline and that's First Bird.   it's been pinned to the wall for years.  in direct New Mexico sunlight.

 

you can see that blue above and inbetween those bottom threads.  that's colored pencil.  and all these years, it has not faded at all.   i think that using colored pencil in a cloth is not Kosher.  BUT,

i am wanting to use it here.  in that Center.  in that vague est of vague part.  i don't know how to do this.  will have to Just Go and see what it is.  

Yesterday,  thinking i might wish for Plain days.   today,  in thinking about that,   maybe i realized that every day IS  plain.   always.  reliably.    and maybe what i might rather wish for is a Plainer self.   this basic thought isn't anything new,  but today i think i see it more, well,  Plainly.  it's me that fills those 24 hour spins of time.  need to spend some more thinking time.   but today was the best of Plain Day.

 

and as Jude is talking about Stars,  i thought to look there on the book shelf at what is i think the only thing i kept from my childhood home except for some of my grandfather's tools, and well…yes,   my father's jack knife.  but from the home itself.  what i loaded in that econoline van when i left that other life.   

 

i think i'll put it here.  waiting for Solstice.

 

approaching the table,  seeing it from this direction was a surprise

 

pretty sure this is it.  finished.  but i'll wait a couple days to be sure.  

 

so, the Walnut Pot came In.   

and Jude is talking about Wishing Stars.  if i wished on a star tonight…and who knows,  maybe i really Will…if i did,  i'd wish for some very plain days ahead.  just very quiet, plain, days.

 

 

be sure to click twice to see dad over the fence and dog Sasha peeking through the hole he, being a Jack Russell Terrier, immediately found upon arrival….in the dark.

 

 

 

 

and she who was formerly Heather,  he formerly Jon, have now totally and excellently and tenderly become mom and dad.  How amazing for me to behold.   Note her socks.  polkadot MaryJanes  over pink.  her dad's favorites.  

 

day began with such a Strong Sun.  changing Patricia's Cloth in an unexpected way.  

Patricia of Followingthread.wordpress.com

 

i heard them.  in the close pasture.  ran to look

 

click and click again.  See them?  Three Sandhill Cranes.  They came for All of Us.  and then, THREE for Jude.  truth is stranger than fiction.  just after that,  feeding the Goats,  the Crow came, flying low and calling,  i repeat the call as best i can and Crow calls again in response.

 

centerpiece.  i smile.  different, in different homes.  this is ours.

 

cloth by Jude Hill,  normally, my altar cloth,  today the altar was our table.  Acorns from  Judith of N. California.   

Thank FULL and beyond.  

My deepest love to all of you who share my life.   How different it would be without You.  

Thank You and so much, so much Love

 

 

 

i can't find my pie plate.  oh well,  lucky i had these.

still waiting.  it's 6:30 and feels like a Million O'clock

work Away.  to Alz. B's.  she is busy today.  busy fingering her pants hem.  busy trying to take her shirt off over her head.  her socks were flung on the floor.  i put them back on.  then, talking to her nurse, watched her remove them and fling.  ok.  off.

to Old Cowboy's.  to take him a pecan pie and whip cream.  his old dog, Rosie, has taken up peeing in the extra room.  he is Beside Himself.   i remind him that we all, at some point, pee inappropriately.  to just give her a few days.  maybe it was the Snow?  to not need to make any irreconcilable decisions for a little while.  This is Hard.  he is very stressed.

to Laundromat.

to Grocery.  bags bags bags.  all the stuff of the Thanksgiving i grew up with,  fed my kids.  SIGH.

 

 

o o   sideways.  i'll fix it in a minute.  but…i'd used the turkey roaster for dyeing.  and it has a clink of rust here and there.  and India has gotten me paranoid.  so…a new one.  this may be the Only time it is ever used for a turkey.

 

afternoon SUN

 

and when i was finally, really, home….What If  i use the integrated applique that Jude taught us?  with the copper thread?  

 

 

 

and this morning, cleaning the Table which will become a Thanksgiving Table soon, cleaning it of all the cloth and thread…these very, and i mean VERY small fragments of cloth…like Very,  i pressed them together and was about to put them aside,  in the Past, i would have thrown them away…so small….BUT

look.  look how they create an image of the Butterfly People!  so..maybe.  maybe there in that corner of the godthing altar cloth????maybe

 

 

 

so i DID stay home.   did NOT go clean someone else's house, but  put my own house in order.

 

 

ok.  curtains back up after i'd taken them down to wash a week or so ago.  and the first pic,  that is the place where the curtain just dissolved in the wash.  so i went through all the possibilities today.  for Whatever Reason,  many curtains like these have shown up at the Thrift Shop.  i have Some.

but none were either the right size OR if they were the right size,  they were….WHITE.   so…TEA DYE.  hung out on the clothes line for the Goats to sniff and …yes.  good.  so tonight, it's like maybe a ferret would want.  closed in.  cozy.  ok.

 

and all the while, This.  What i really needed, more than anything.   it's just how it IS.  there are days when a Cloth says nothing.  when it   just is there, pinned,  quiet.   but then there are days when the Cloth hummms and i either listen or i don't.  Today,  i listened.  i think this is how it wants to be.

i'm on some kind of roll here today.  if i worked a "real" job,   i would be taking what is called a Personal Day.  i'm staying home.  staying home to  find the piece i need for this cloth, really, and to get enough wood in which will require digging under and into the woodpile as all the top are wet with snow.  which is still sifting down as i write this.  Son is coming from Denver.  bringing a 2 month old baby girl.  who've Hoped!…

so..am beginning with this,  thinking i'll add to it as the day goes.  

 

i need HEAT  at that far end of the migrational corridor.  i want something about that,  i have no words for yet.  maybe i want the godThing there….the Mystery at one end,  the godThing at the other?   but warmth, for sure.  and in my mind somewhere is a piece of, Of Course,  Deb Lacativa's cloth…which always for me holds intense Spirit.  so,  inbetween bringing in wood and readying for their arrival,  i will search for the scrap.   in the meantime,  this one will hold the energy.  it actually might even be The One.  right now it seems toooo much.  but maybe in the end,  too much will be exactly It..???????  lots of questions in the moment.

later:

then i'm thinking, Why be subtle?  why not the flaming orb itself?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i woke to this.   it 

snowed

quietly.  the WIND that had been forecast was not present.  and during the night,  it snowed.  silently.   i slept.  i didn't know.  but i am sure that the Goats watched.  them, not knowing either, but,  watching.

 

same view as just the other day, but totally different

 

 

SUN did come

 

i made macaroni and cheese.  "grandma's macaroni and cheese",  my

mother's

macaroni and cheese.  which we eat with katchup.  

and i read that book.  and THOUGHT a lot.  and went to the old folks home where the Baptist Church people were singing their church songs and Alz B KNEW them and sang along, knowing many of the words,  for sure knowing the tunes.  it was Beyond Strange.

and  then my grand daughter called with all manner of odd  questions because she was filling out a questionairre about donating her eggs.