windthread

these days.  they DO begin this way.   but by noon  at the latest are Warm,  Sun filled, Glorious days.   a few more.  till the end of this month.   and then,  the long haul.

and this.  Now i have Everything anyone could possibly want.   walnuts from Michelle's Escape World,  and even MORE,  the box she sent them in.  a perfect box.  small.  brown.  perfectly square.  a very special box that i love almost as much as the walnuts.

and looking at Mo's talismans,  i thought…why not ask?   so i did.   and i think it may happen.  i think that Roz may be able to make me two very very small earrings.   it's interesting and i am not going to spend any time wondering,  but some time Back,  i quit wearing  Things in Particular.  my whole thing was to wear NON things.   clothing, adornment of any kind.   but with the JudyMartin MorningHousedress,  something has shifted.  although i have many piercings in my ears, i have kept only very very small gold loops in the bottom ones.  they are just there.  like my ears are there.  day in, day out.  just there.  but i emailed Roz and asked her if it were a possibility that she might make two very very small rectangles.  one copper one silver.  and i sent her this very fast pic i made as i was thinking.  we'll see.  maybe yes.  i very much like the idea.

and i began some of the cranes.  i had seen them exactly like this on the cloth from the beginning.  there will be more.

just more very very small stitches.  and i'll leave the pic this size and see what happens with being able to enlarge.

and then,  this

i had thanked Martine for the recipe for Ellendesoep,  Misery Soup.  and told her that i dream of someday coming to the Netherlands, to Scotland, and then to Australia because of the interesting women who live there.  and she sent this pic,  saying that if i came to live in the Netherlands, i might end up looking like this.   

ISN'T THIS JUST THE MOST AMAZING AND WONDER FULL PHOTOGRAPH??????  i want to dream this.  i want to imagine, if i actually COULD become like this…not skinny, but Robust, and Setting Out….wearing my JudyMartinMorningHouseDress with  a very excellent wool jacket,  beloved Companions………………..oh, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…..

and look at the image in the water.   THANK YOU FOR THIS, Martine.  and keep your eye out, just off shore.  you never know.  you just never know.  that soup is very powerfull.

well….hmmmm.  when i leave the image as full size and don't reduce to Large,  it works as it used to.  meaning it can be enlarged twice.   which is good.  BUT that's a change i didn't cause.  i kind of don't like the initial image so large in the first place.  but…oh, well and wha….stuff is what it is. 

have not received word from Help Ticket yet.  maybe they have a different solution.

it was a work away day, Monday, but as i was waking and not, waking and not,  i suddenly "saw" something about how the cloth can go.  and just to hold the image, i did a little, while it was pinned to the wall

but by the time i fed Goats,  brought in some wood,  went back out to have a loooong talk with Lucky Star that she didn't listen to at all  (she had somehow gotten out this morning.  i was heading to the gate to leave and had a feeling.  turned around and there she was,  with her little daughter Celia in tow,  just behind me.  Looking all cheery.  She had been over by the Buck Fence.  They were all lined up,  snorting and spitting.  She came into heat yesterday and is HOT.  READY.  having forgotten already about how she has FOUR kids and what that's like.  Short memory.)  anyway, SUN was traveling fast to the Rim and, the above photo, that is interesting, but …..

so i printed the image from yesterday and added penciled in marks which turns out to be a good way to understand what i might do.  it has something to do with saying that the other day about Sensory Braille.  How the birds might travel by Sensory Braille.  this is taken with the flash again, colors not true.  

but then, as i am looking at this,  i see that scrap of cloth, just above !!!!!!!!!!!….EEEEE, what would THAT look like????????????

maybe not this, but maybe something like it???

when they migrate,  they are magnetized by "safe haven".  either for easy wintering,  as now,  or for nesting,  as when they leave for the North in the spring.  Destination.  is that important to put here?

i'm not sure.  maybe just this part of the long journey.  

but it was a good day.  even though i had to be gone through most of it.  i held the image and the energy until i returned.   my own migration of sorts.

washing walls and curtains.   this wall is finished.  everything came off, shelf too.   but it's done.  the cloth, pulling the light,  is Jude's.    on the back of the couch, is Patricia's…that curtain in the wash bucket. 

yesterday, when there was a tuna sandwich to be served,  there was no room at the table.  and i realized standing there, holding the plate, that i didn't want to move anything on the table.  so.  he had to eat it in his lap.  but….that's not really ok either,  so….

the little table is back out from where it was squashed at the far end of the couch.  

here it is with the Flash.  interesting difference.

i was looking at this.  Solstice is coming.  BeLovEd Solstice.  some work to be done Out There, too.  The Goats were restless today,  which makes it seem even more important,  gives it Energy.

and many VERY small stitches made here.   not remarkable, i think,  in these pics,  but remarkable in person.   it's becoming what it wants to.  looking at this last pic,  i can almost see something that i can't yet see.

when my daughter was little,  she loved toads.   each year we would get a new plastic swimming pond, maybe 6ft wide and what, 8" deep????  i don't know.  but in it, she would create a world for her toads.  she would put mud and little plants, some would die and some actually would stay alive. the plants, not the toads.  the toads were fine, always.  and then build little twig things that only she knew what they really were.  little huts.  bridges,  mounds.  for the toads.  and this would go on and on.  and often i would see her out the screen in the kitchen door,  leaning down,  so close,  leaning down and saying,  Yes????,  i can't hear you.  speak louder, Please.  

and i kind of feel like that now.. but just to Everything in General…like….I Can't Hear You, Speak Louder, Please.  

i had to make up yesterday and today for the days of work away i missed because i was sick.  so today i took 3 curtain panels to wash in the Old Cowboys  washing machine while i worked.  one totally disintegrated.  really.  turned in to fibers.  quite something to see.  and then here,  on the plastic that covers the window behind the computer screen (and the window whose curtain disintegrated)  

these two photographs are very subtly different.  i want to know how.  so i go back and forth.  but then,  the peacock feather is right there.  right in front of me.  no photograph, but IT.  there.  slid sideways onto the plastic.   

and i got a call from a woman named Marguerite who has a Project for placing dogs.  and horses.  she called wondering if i might have space for two Nigerian Dwarf Goats.  their person is recovering from surgery and needs help.

nothing i think might happen, does.  Things i would not imagine happening, are.   Not a lot seems to make sense, but am thinking it will, at some point.  just not yet.

and JUDE is BACK.  for a while.

the day began this way, looking at the wall,  looking at what i keep on the wall.  Why?

and i went to work.  because i couldn't go on monday and tuesday, being too sick,  the work waited for me.   so today.  but….

i had said something about needing Music to be LOUD.  that if it couldn't be LOUD, it couldn't be itself.  and how i needed Zoe Keating to FILL my HOUSE, and to FILL it so much that it seeped through the walls and went outside even to where the Goats are.

and when i arrived at my work this morning,  late morning,  there was a box.  a note.  and this.  

and then it went from there.  2 boxes in the mail.  I don't ordinarily say anything about things that arrive in the mail because it somehow doesn't seem right.  but i will say something about these.  because everythings seems somehow,  uhhhh,  as a Surprise, somehow and i don't know what to

think.

so i Look., instead of thinking.   and i see a wonderful box of Judith in N. California.  her work.  her Work.  a CD of her world.  her Work.  her World.    and more.  but enough for now.  and Sandy.  Sandy sent some indigo she wasn't needing…but what she really sent, with out really knowing , but knowing, was a book she thought i might like.  100 Girls On Cheap Paper      Tina Berning.  more of this later.

and THEN, if all this was not enough,  Martine,  ateliercolore.blogspot.com.  Martine,  whose blog pic shows her in a window with a camera, but who i have always seen as her with binnoculars, looking looking looking over the So Far and watching over me here, in New Mexico, usa  …..her being in the Netherlands…for years i've imagined it this way,…..anyway, Martine on her blog gives the recipe for Misery Soup.  Ellendesoep.  

HOW CAN IT GET ANY BETTER AT ALL???????   and how can i SEE all this, as it is appearing to me moment to moment?????  What can i Know?

mid day,  i was let loose of it's grip and suddenly able to be On the Move again.  i split some wood and was thinking to take  a pic of some lichen that is growing on it when phone call came that any minute would be a good time to clean the wood stove pipes and also take measurements for the  new triple insulated roof insert .  would  "only take a minute".   and tho i knew this was not going to be any truer this time than ever before,  i said ok 

so all the above and then tuna sandwiches, avacados and bananas and the red chair became a Tea Table.   

i have a guest.   Firewood.  this one.  in particular,  i loved the shape, the color.  so i sat it on the little chair that i put across from the Morning Chair.  so i could look upon it and maybe see it uhhhh,  more?  maybe truly appreciate.  the firewood.  i haven't lit the first fire yet.  any day now though.  

i wasn't a day better.  was just kind of the same as yesterday,  but i didn't jump forward from that.  and it was a disappointment.  but half way through the day, i kind of surrendered to it.   found self looking longer at things than i ordinarily might.  really considering them.

and then i got 3 emails this week from women who read here but for whatever reasons of their own don't comment here.  i loved them.   the emails and the women.  they are Far Away.  they weren't long or complicated,  just Good.  saying:  this is who i am and i see who you are.  hello.  and i just

really really love that a lot.  and it has changed the tone of the days for me.  thinking of myself 

here

and them,  Far Away,

but sharing some Light that is familiar to all of us.  it's very tender.  and also is helping me look closely here, as along as it seems that Looking is pretty much all i can do for a few days anyway.