windthread

in her Joy of finding herself actually here in New Mexico,  Marti, the quintessential Ultimata of natural dye experiments…put some cloth in with chile powder she'd gotten for food.  the coloUr she achieved is magnificant, a strong red/amber/orange…just amazing.  i never thought it would work.  lo and behold.  but then it began to fade.  no mordant? we wondered?  maybe use whole pods? we wondered?  so…this morning i stuck some chile pods wrapped in muslin into this jar with a little alum dissolved in boiling water.  will watch what happens with Sun today and late in the day dump it in one of the pots.  not sure which?  aluminum?  cast iron? 

and while out there, just looking around…

the striation on this rock was not evident before.  many of the rocks/stones have new appearances this year.

 

 

~Afternoon~

seeing if i can bleach a scrap that i really didn't know i had

the Nighthawks came.  will they stay????

 

~EVENING….SUN SPILLING TOWARD THE RIM…..

Down in the low right…in case you don't notice… is a complete Surprise.

Jude is talking about personal symbols over in the Diaries of Spirit Cloth…Windows, particularly, in the moment…   and ok.  quite out of nowhere came the urge to kantha this corner.  and to kantha it in RED thread.  well, none of the reds are the right red, like "scab red" as my kids used to call it.  no scab red.  so…this and i will go back with a different thread and maybe between the two they might get closer to the red that is Good to me.  so i guess here are two personal symbols.  the first, kantha stitching,  has GREAT energy to me.  what?, tho?  well…that Spirit is on the Move.  and you can interpret that any way you want.  and then, RED.  i have been moving closer and closer to Red.   I have come to WANT oranges,  oranges of amber, with ochre, oranges burnished like copper and corroded like rust.  them.  i really want them now.  interesting.

 

 

the Goats stayed really quiet for so long this morning.  and i was absorbed in dusting, washing off, this

submerging the Wolf Basket in the kitchen sink and washing off all the accumulated dust.  this basket was woven by Joyce Tinkham out of jute.  in it are some treasures and also a tiny orange plastic treasure chest with each of my kids first lost teeth in.  our dentist at that time, who the kids loved, gave them out for putting safely under the pillow.  Tooth Fairy.  and also there is  a small wooden box with a lizard painted on it that holds pieces of both kids umbilical cords.  stuff like that.  so…cleaning these things, i was kind of drifting.  now and again i realized that the Goats were STILL quiet but then, it was a beautiful morning and breezy and barely warm.  perfect left over cud chewing kind of morning.  finally…at around almost 10 am i went out.    All Goats transfixed and staring.  all the does.  all Sunny Ray, Gideon, Tenzen.  standing, staring at a fixed point in the Oasis, near the Raft…..and Lo and Behold, who should be there nibbling sweetly on the Kochia weed….Buckwheat.  Loose.  a Loose Buckwheat.  and he looked so incredibly BEAUTY FULL,

all loose and amidst the flowering Desert Willow and Chatalpa tree and the rag flag on the Raft blowing overhead in the breeze and the chairs, maybe with spirits sitting…resting in them like my Granddaughter says…  it was a hugely beautiful scene.  i wanted to take a pic but was so anxious that i would NEVER get him back in his own yard again, that forever he would be loose and sometimes wreak havoc unlike this perfect moment…so…instead of chancing it, i got a hammer and nails and baling wire and wire cutters and set to work fixing that end of his fence that I KNEW for a while now was weak and would remind self that once he broke through, it would set the tone for the whole of the future, but didn't do anything about it but think.  

and he just watched me, nibbling away,  and when i was done and ready for the capture, i said his name and he BOINGed …that's stiff legged boinging, like they have springs on the bottom of their feet.  the babies do it all the time.  he continues when he's feeling full of himself, so i got some pellets in the Doe bucket and opened his gate, went in and trickled them clink clink clink in his bowl and remembered what daughter Jenny said:  "dont have feelings.  just be quiet inside yourself"…ok and dear him, he came in.  xtra pellets but his very very Great Day was over.  off and on through the day he stands and studies that corner where he escaped.  Thinking.  we'll see.

invisible baste.  Moon stitched down.  changing changing changing HER position.  it's not right yet. and what's going on overhead???? i don't know and then down in the right????? i don't know either.  this one is completely unknown from here on in.  tomorrow, the day belongs to this cloth.  unless an Unforseen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Are All Different.  But, this is me, speaking of and for my Self.

Because i have a mind that can be totally content with its imaginations,  to actually bring its Self to the Here and Now takes some doing.   and why, maybe,  Writing was easiest.  You dream it up, write it down, and Bingo.  

But i no longer find self in that kind of world.  my Present is very physical.   So, it's important to reality test off and on…

Do i really WANT to be "here"?  Why?   to ask this question and to answer this question.  Fully.

Then i find i need to very literally identify to self what it is that i WANT in my days, and Why.  Otherwise,  i drift.

and IMPORTANT:  THE WORDS TIME AND LIFE ARE INTERCHANGABLE.  they are the same thing.  to me.

i just like this.  how the white shows through

 

 

it's cloudy this morning.  so am going to stay outside after feeding Goats.  finish hauling the scrap feed to the compost,  probably close off Buckwheat's "window door" into the Albatros in preparation for making that the section for the new mothers and kids.   About 2 weeks away now.  Soon.  

So…yesterday and today combined will give me two Good Days to look at.  What makes them so Good.?.    and how we know things but don't take that one step further and Act on the knowing.  i know it works to have cloths Ready…Waiting.  i see that in Jude's world all the time.  so, in keeping with that,  i spent some time yesterday while sitting here and enjoying the flow of "talking" with you All in this Window stitching together the base for a new cloth.  More tea dye silk noile onto harem cloth onto muslin…invisible baste.  i drew a face and set a scrap there.  Now she waits while i work on the Floating figure with blue orb and Moon.  i can glance over, watch her waiting.  Nice.

~evening~

 

 

 

 

 

i got a lot done.  what i didn't get to at all is this last pic of the Kochia around both  old and new compost areas.  it's now about 4 ft tall.  that's next.

all the Desert Willow are beginning to bloom

 

and i also found this.  some tin thing.  where i drive the vehicles in and out.  What?  i will never know but i liked it.  i felt like an archeologist.

i also came upon a very tiny newborn insect that was new to me.  SO SMALL…on a twig…pale green and a slightly triangular shaped body that went directly into it's long pointed snout.  kind of like a kadydid/walking stick combo.  i managed to get it on the twig to the porch, trying to get the camera…when it had enough of that and disappeared.

 

 

and Sometimes this happens.  when everything is in some kind of alignment, the setting Sun, clouds, and i don't know what all else, maybe just Basic Goodness, but the world suddenly, for only a few, a very few moments, acquires this amazing GLOW….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

patricia asks:  where's she been?

well…in the Pile of Just Waiting.

i could be content, i think, doing variations upon variations of this cloth forever.   she was one of the first cloths i ever made in the beginning class of Jude's Spritit Cloth.  

and actually has all the elements that are important to me.  tea dye.  drawing.  and looking again today, the use of recycle scrap.  i've come away from that some.   i need to walk backwards.

and this is what waits all the time.  why i talk about Time.  Time being important to me.  SO much i'd like to take the time to do

 

 

 

 

 

 

this is not going to be 

easy.

5/26 ~ but maybe interesting

 

finished!

and how the two close rows of invisible baste made it work.  just that and the Feel of it became right.  and so.

and the Goats had company.  that's Talulah on the left, her friend Alex…both in the Chair that i finished yesterday…how great that someone(s) could actually sit in it!  and behind, Jamie…one of Talulah's moms.  

 

 

morning again.  i have no picture.  am moving around in the question of What Works?.

in the link that nance sent:

"time is the raw material of creation"

"The math of time is simple:  you have less than you think and need more than you know."

these two thoughts are enough i think.  they say it all, really.  ok then.  How does this work?  What will work.  i am getting down to yet another Basic Equation.  How can i do it/What works?  Soon, the milking will begin.  and with milking is a lot of DETAIL.  cleanliness for one.  and not simple cleanliness, but impeccability.  sterile.  cannot sterilize the teats, but they too must be washed.  very clean.  clean.  ok.  any storage jars must be steril.  cheese making pots, sterile.  kitchen surfaces.  as can be guessed, we are talking about Time. 

so i need to really evaluate what i NEED to have in the days.  and then, how to Make it Work….so there is Enough room for what i NEED.  so, these posts right now are about looking at that.

I NEED to have cloth time.  not only time to Make it, but Time to Dream it UP.  Time to let it come under it's own terms.  

I NEED to go forward with the Goat partnership…milk.  cheese.

what else?  well…the established requirements, little things of living, the largest of which is Meditation time.  i think i worked that out this morning, or began to.  and Season will change it all around.  but for now, in the warm months,  i like to get up when it's still dark.   make coffee.  sit. let the threads of the nights dreams untangle from me.  and after that first cup of coffee,  i like to go back to bed.  it's usually another 20 minutes or so of sleep and i get to wake up all over again, more Ready.  this morning i just positioned the pillows in the bed and immediately began my meditation there instead of coming out to the morning chair where all around me there are things to look at, things that call my attention.  so…i want to see if it works to just Sit in bed.  i'll bring down all those extra pillows so i can sit against the wall at the head of the bed.

will see if that Works.

 

 looks pretty much done.  at a glance.  how i did this is hand stitch linen to the existing cushion covers…while they were ON the cushions.  i have callouses on finger tips.

the square paint thingy on the right side is the one called Willowy White.  on the faux Ivory, it looks a grey green???  on the blue wall, it's an undescribable uhhhh "presence".  i like it.  and maybe i would like it as the cabinet doors???

the high cabinet doors are patinaed with cooking grease.  i cannot say how much i love the deep glowey amber color.  i took one off and cleaned it last week.  it is now not so beautiful at all.  and then…What about the collage on the wall????  with the faux ivory, the whole energy is changed.  but maybe it's the way stuff goes.  the purpose of all this change is to set a new tone for when all the cheese making gets underway.   

so this is it for a while.  mind drifted to cloth and i have 3 days now for that.  for those days, i'll just look at what i have done.  

 

 

 

 

in keeping with 

in keeping with this 3 hundred and sixty five day effort,  which is in keeping with that concept of Partnering with the Unforseen, which is in keeping with achieving some sense of Clarity about Living, which is inkeeping with a great sense of Earnestness….in figuring out what Works (and what? does That mean, what works?)  i'm going to flip things for a while.  Post in the morning, first thing.    Often that might mean i have nothing to say yet, nothing to…show.  But, i'm thinking, i can add anything as the day goes if there is Indeed something to add.

 

 

and admiring my new shower curtain again this morning, i was startled.  HOW AMAZING it is that we totally stop seeing something because we have seen it so many times.

there on the wall behind the toilet is a framed print of Meinrad Craighead!!!  all this talk the other day and i never once remembered…  But, here it is.  it's one of the ones i ordered for that old bookstore i've mentioned….23 years ago.  Maybe i'll move it.  

Evening

growing in front of the Albatros…Hogpotato  Fabaceae (Pea family).  a very common roadside native.  never has appeared here before.

 making progress with chair when Old Cowboy phones, wondering if i'd forgotten his stuff he needed.  which were, printer paper that he makes paper envelopes with for his pirated dvds, Halls throat lozenges and salted peanuts in the shell.  He says he knows i don't have time for him but when did i think i might get to the store.  ok.  so i go to walmart where this stuff is and suddenly i am in the paint department.  i am looking for Ivory.  the paint guy tries to ignore me but sees my earnestness afterwhile and becomes helpful.  there are no paint chips called ivory.  he looks through his book.  no.  he gets an idea…in the spray paint there is YES! a can of Ivory!  and it appears to be the same as the Country White that looked closest to me to Ivory.  O.K.

it's 

white.  or

appears white.

i have a gallon of it.  and i already knew i am absolutely NO GOOD at picking paint colors.  there's really no hope of doing better, especially at walmart and it's the only place with paint in town.  So, now what i wonder.

 

 

 

 

a new shower curtain

 

one more day of work and it will be finished enough so no one would notice that it's not finished

 

a Valerianna Sky