windthread

being still in a kind of mood,  it happened.  i took the blanket off the back door (you can see now, in the background,  a piece of a bedspread over the door.  it's windy.  and the dog food bin pushed up against it.)  and using the little paper doll figure of Jude's CB2 workshop, i cut it.  and stitched it.  and it is now a very amazingly excellent wool Robe.  i stitched it all together last night.  what will happen next….Who Knows?????

as i clicked out, on this Saturday night in the very end of the month of February, 2013,  there was a message in the email in box from  Dharma Bum Temple in San Diego Cal.  you remember that post?

and how i found, totally by accident, this Dharma Bum Temple?  just by googling Dharma Bum?

so…ok.  if you can, do google.  and do what i did.  PayPal.  $5.oo a month.  what will that equal? what coincidental little nothings might $5 equal?

LOVE, 

 

i wish i could take a video of how it goes.  there are all these details first…be sure the bales of feed are covered with the tarp.   haul the water bowl and the pellet bowls out back.  make sure the latch on the back gate works.  put Tulip, the old deaf dog inside and close the dog door.  ok.  give the bucks some pellets.  fill the magic bucket that makes noise,  open the doe gate and call out:  Come Come!!!  Come Come while rattling the pellets in the bucket.  which really, i probably don't even need to do anymore, except that they like it a lot when things keep being the same.  I wish i had a video of the explosion of goats and how they make a beeline through the big yard, through the gate, through the house yard…hesitating a few seconds because it's tempting, but then no another rattle and Come Come!!! and onward, past the wood splitter through the back gate and the final rush to the pellet bowls where i dump evenly three batches of pellets making that wonderful clatter.  and of course, SnowBunny will not be fooled and wheels around and tears back out the gate and i try to catch her but can't and then just outside the gate she turns and stands and DECIDES HER SELF to walk slowly back through.  and i quick latch the gate closed.

mercy…mi consentida.  special one.

Just Going, who i thought was a stillborn, but HA!, a strapping junior doe and VERY FAST

Cinderella, sister of SunnyRay   

3 of the Junior Does.  Magic only would be photographed in group photos today.  But they are all very very nice does.

there was a LOT of this,  everyone taking their turn, their Time, their Place, over the course of the afternoon as the Sun moved through the sky

Michelle's cloth,  after a winter of Wind flying

for the Crows

lots of pics of Goat butts

 

maybe a lilac bush this year, maybe not

a rare moment of Arctica standing for the camera

so…this was the day today.  and i am having Feelings.  am reminding self that "feelings are thoughts, and thoughts are mental constructs.  So, ok, i am entertaining mental constructs.  It's been almost a year.  Lucky Star and Caroline will kid in mid May.  THOSE kids will NEED to be sold.  Unless, Unless, one is an exceptional little buck.  he could be kept intact, as the beloved and bad Buckwheat also will need to go.  and i remember saying here, goats are not pets.  no.  they are not.  but…..how do i Just Go. ???? 

No excuses.   the two bred does will NEED to be milked for cheese.  and cheese will NEED to be made.  No matter what.  No excuses.   and i will NEED to get word out and use the bucks as breeders.  Today, oddly, they were very quiet.  Peacefull even.  Buckwheat napped in his food tub…who would have guess that would ever happen.  We are all familiar with everything about eachother.  we know what we can expect of eachother.  we trust and rely on eachother to be who we are.  Not to say there are still things unknown, as in that there seems to be a Uhhhhh,  sense of reconciliation to the fact that two does are now pregnant.  the other does still come in heat but there is not that urgency anymore, of the doe calling, the bucks answering, the comotion the comotion.  and i'm wondering….Could it possibly be that the herd accepts this?  That it is good and ok with The Herd that two are going to kid?  i have no idea if this could be true, but it seems to be. 

so…there is still so much to learn.  and we MADE IT through a winter.  and though the Daughter, is still incommunicado for her own reasons whatever they might be,  we are ok.  and we are Just Going.  and we are just going holding hoof and hand with the Unforseen.  and i am thinking i can DO IT.  whatever IT turns out to be.  I love them, those Goats.  i really love them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so…in this moment, there are 5 thread events.  these are aside from the 6 seeds, the crow and the strings.

these thread events are like small conversations in a language i don't know.  this is a garden's dream, remember?  so…they have appeared.  i am at a point where it feels like there is enough going on.  a lot of invisible basting to do still and a lot of somehow stitching down those thin threads at the top, like just holding them in place.  enough to hold them but not enough to HOLD them.  and at the very top, Wind is there to finish…but again, not too much.  (all the cat hair doesn't count)

i love working on this.  the order of the weaving being so strong, but then, these seemingly small things that in their subtle way, really stand out when looking at it hanging there on the wall.   so much like a garden is, this time of year….a lot going on, but you have to squat close.  listen for it.

 

 

yes.  a mood. 

my friend brings me her New York Times newspapers to use as fire starters in the winter.  each morning i pull some out and read them as i crinkle some up to start the morning fire.  some i keep.  things about salamanders in Mexico City,  carrots becoming the Artisan vegetable.   this pic  from a review of a movie…what IS it…i think Cloud Atlas?  is that it?  i don't see movies.  am not sure.  but i ripped this pic out for whatever reason and it's been pinned to the wall next to me for a couple or few months.  and tonight i look at the tatoos on Tom Hanks face and thought that if i were some years younger, i might have something similar done to mine.  and then i think about why am i

entertaining

this thought?  Facial tatoos are a very distinct statement.  and so i think….What would i be wanting to SAY, without saying anything at all? 

this is very interesting.

 

Doing a LOT of looking.  Looking over my shoulder at the Wall this morning.  getting up, going over there looking close, looking far.   Shapes,  how the seeds did not want to be literal, but more images of Urges. 

this one's my favorite

but then…it became looking at color…the interplay 

it wanted these.  and maybe a deeper brown, too.

But, then, a Rearrangement of the Wall….and here, i really don't know what i'm looking at.  but again, it has to do with color

i moved the pinned Red piece away for this pic

but then, i put it back.  There is something i want to See.

the top two cloths are two of the first i made in Jude's first class…Spirit Cloth.  and that one to the right is the place where pieces of the Unforseen are gathering.  the vertical cloth to the left of the Garden's Dream is from last year's dye pot…a really odd color.  and then, of course the little Experiment with RED.  there is something going on here, but i can't yet See it…..   So i am going out with the Goats for the rest of the day and let these images move around in my mind.  Come back in much later and look some more.

 

 

the Magic Diaries cloth is back up in the West window

again, the lizard in the top center is Jude Hill's work.  the 5 SUNMOONS top left are Deb Lacativa's cloth.

i have never really left this cloth at all…………….

 

i wasn't going to say anything about this.

but then, as time goes on, it feels like i am dishonoring something.  This is the cloth and the stick that i sent to Debra in California….Luring Crows.  i packaged it in a very LARGE cardboard folder, much larger than the cloth, to accomodate the stick.  it was more than 2ft square.  all kinds of feelings and thoughts were present when i was taping the stick down, wrapping the cloth in tissue.  making it secure.  all kinds of thoughts and feelings about exchanging this THING for money.  a LOT.   and in it i enclosed a short note to her telling her about what that meant to me…luring crows.

how there are crows that go overhead and have recently swooped low, seeming to be interested in the arrival of the Goats, seeming to be, just more Willing to look down.  and how i call them.  how i hang laundry on the clothes line almost for them,  how i wave and yell to them  if they are high.  and what it is i want…..is just that they might come here, for just a  moment  to light on the dead branches of the big Russian Olive, or on the fence, fence post.  Just that.  that it would be enough.

so, i put this note in with the cloth and stick and there is a great Wind doing what it does out there and i go out, to go to the post office to send this and as i am unlatching the gate, i for whatever reason, look to my right and then

up

and there,  There on the top branch of the Russian Olive is

a crow.

a crow.

i stand there and see it.  i watch it seeing me.  seconds pass and then in a kind of slow motion, it's wings raise just barely and extend, just barely and Wind lifts it up and sails it off to the right, up and in the current….the crow making no effort at all and it is gone from my sight.

i stood there.  hanging on to the cardboard envelope.  not knowing what to do.  feeling like i should fall to the ground or something, i  should DO something.

but what i did is to continue through the gate and latch it closed and get into the car and head off for the Post Office.  staring straight ahead.  continuing.  and i mailed it.  and now it's a couple days later and i think as i did in that moment driving down the road,  that That's also probably like how it is even when we are dying.  When we somehow know we are about to exhale for the last time.  and we

exhale.

we Just Go.  

and i wasn't going to write this here.  it seems so improbable.  so surreal.   But it happened. 

it was no more, but no less.