windthread

no Wind.     finally.   after  6 months of Him.   and  what do we         miss?    Wind.   it is hot.  still.  the Sun flows from the sky down upon this place.   it's still, and incredibly blindingly bright with Sun.    and,  no Wind.         hmmmm. 

 and i think this is a milkweed type being?

and i have not known how to feel about the fact that there have been no signs of a single toad.  there is a longstanding community of toads here.  i actually brought one from where i worked maybe 60 miles away in the beginning.  i think there were others, well, there must have been.  because over time, there has become a community.  but this year…none yet.  until this evening.   was it because of the harsh winter???  or because i water maybe only half of what i usually do because of so much that died in the harsh winter????   thoughts.  wonderings.    sometimes i am tempted to just water for the imagined happiness of toads.  but then, i think now,  well….what about when i leave?  then what?  Acey's flower essense works on this with me.  how to deal with these possibilities and remain true to all i would like to remain true to.   it's complex.  but……….look!…..this evening, while pulling weeds in the water bowl under the Grandmother Apricot tree……….

at first, i thought it was SandRock, a very longstanding friend, but no…i think a cousin.  but i was …..uhhhhh,   what was i?        i was………….  so just full.  FULL.  of joy.  of reassurance.  of….well, enough to say just this amazing RELIEF!!!!!   such beautiful eyes.   such a gentle kindness to remain while i ran into the house to get the camera.  co-creation,  yes.  co-habitation, yes.  and so much more.

and here we are.   in this moment.   maybe  on the Diaries cloth?????   i'm thinking not, but…who knows.   not me.

Love to You All who wander over here and watch with me.  i am thinking today how so much  that is Loving Kindness.  Thank You.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the central vein on the pepper leaves are straight.  but now, all new leaves look like this????

Mexican Elderberry

 Desert Willow

a volunteer.  have no idea which kind ?

Locust

 

 
 

 
 

 

all along,  and most recently in Sun Moon Stars,  there has been consideration of personal symbols.   and whether or not directly or just as an undercurrent of thought it has been on my mind.   for me,  the eye,  is a strong one.  i am trying to know as much as i can about    Why.

i go about my days that add up to my life      looking.   sometimes my looking causes me to pause a long long while.  sometimes it has to be fast, as in just now,  beyond my right shoulder as i write this there was a flash of movement and color and i turned and saw,  for just an instant,  that the Tanagers  are back FOR the salt cedar …brightly marked and colored birds that come for brief  periods of time to dangle from the twigs of this brushy tree like christmas ornaments.   so, i saw that, with my eye, for just an instant before it flung itself off and my eye talked to my brain and the result is that my Heart was joyfull and comforted.  SOMETHING is going on out there that is according to an Order that had become familiar to me over these 16 years.  i am relieved to see this.

so..that is just a momentary example.  and as i think about this cloth that i seem to be wanting to begin in Magic Diaries as i understand Magic Diaries to be at this point in my Mind's Eye,  i probably will want to begin envisioning my personal symbols and re-creating these in this cloth.

i have looked a lot of hours at this first eye.  moving the just 4 small fragments of cloth around so many times, seeing how just a very slight tilt of any of them changes the sense of this eye,  in a very interesting way, changes the feeling of what this eye might be seeing, how this eye looks upon……..  me,  my little diorama, me in my movements in my diorama.  do i want that?,  or do i want an eye that expresses a different interest or view.  do i want an eye that has no interest in me?,  an eye that perceives in so totally different way, like maybe an insect's eye might*….registering me, as just a large moving object of little consequence.  or a lizard's eye ….. how with my own eye i look into its eye and there seems to be some kind of very Sure exchange.  we behold eachother. *except for Praying Mantis

 

so, eyes are a lot to think about.

and this particular eye, no matter how it "comes out", no matter whether or not i "like" it, will be stitched into this cloth.  there might be more.  again…i am just daydreaming now till Diaries begins.

and i also, while working on this eye,  have become more and more clear about how,  uhhhhhhh,        Spirit Cloth is my school.  my school as in where i go with total regularity to learn.  i learn from what Jude teaches directly, i learn from just how she sees her world, her diorama, her cat, her ecosystem outside, the interface of her outside/inside,  On and On              and i learn from my sister students by being amazed and informed by their work within this school,  their oh so unique interpretations of their learning.

so…i am backing off some.  i am working on an          eye.    otherwise, backing off.  waiting.

and in this meantime, i will be outside.  working there.  taking photographs of other members of this eco systems doorways,  things like that.

and there…..FOURTEEN blooms.  FOURTEEN.  this has never happened 
 

and for Acey…yes…this is Tazmeena.  Tazmeena the GREAT.  Best cat.  Magnificant cat.  totally and completely Perfect cat.                         who, unlike Was, is not at all interested in being photographed

 
 

re: a conversation going on over at Spirit Cloth.

living alone and rarely having company,  how i use personal space isn't much of an issue.  if someone IS coming here,  i "neaten" up the Room.  the only time really beside that that it doesn't look pretty much like the pic here is at the end of a cloth.  when that particular story is complete or complete enough.  i will put everything back.  dust.  disrupt that spider web and,  it's neat.  but as Jude said,       there's also a clear feeling of        Nothing going on.          until it all begins again.

the pics are: 3 of the bedroom.  last summer,  i enlisted the help of the neighbor kid to help me haul out the huge dresser with huge mirror that took up literally 1/3 of the very small bedroom.  i replaced it with those metal utility shelves.  i brought in all the cloth that i had in bins out in the shed and placed them on those shelves.  my personal wearable clothing consists of levis and shirts, T or otherwise and take up ONE single lower bottom shelf.  the TV takes up a lot of space.  it hasn't been used for 6 years, but because of reasonable reason, i don't get rid of it.  i should put it out in the shed tho.  anyway….it's a SMALL room.  i guess…well let me go measure…….8ftX12ft.  so there is the bed and those two shelves.  i have recently begun to roll pieces and tie them to see if that helps.

the next 3 pics are of the ROOM where i work which also is where the Eating table is.  this room i guess explains itself.  everything in here is about cloth or some art materials of some sort.   mostly cloth.

this is it.  just thought i would offer it as We all contemplate             studio space.

 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

it's the beginning of day four of the flower essense from Acey.  it is called Joyous Warrior..did i already say that?    i need to think more before i write more about that, but it, i most sincerely believe, has created an opening in a certain level of my beingness that had been closed down.   and…this was nothing that Acey had been aware of when she made the gesture of offering this essense.     it was nothing i really was fully aware of when i accepted and began.   i should correct that.  i was aware of this, but was willing to just agree to live that way…a kind of just letting it go, of surrender.  and so now that is much in the mix, those concepts of letting go, surrender.   but it's jumping way ahead to go there now.    Now, there is this kind of thing going on:

i never organize my thoughts or words any more before sitting down here and just beginning to write whatever just happens to appear on the screen.  i think maybe once in going on two years i have deleted.  it just comes.  there is a central thought and then free association as i wander through the day, but when i finally do sit down to type,  what gets said gets said.    that happened in SEW the other day when i posted a pic of what i'm doing and at some point,  these words came out:

"just looking, beginning to see some kind of map backwards    that can place me in the present, ready for what's next".    

since writing those words, i have been more and more respectful of the truth of them and the truth telling of the way they simply   Appeared.   part of this, i think is the work of the Flowers but part is also the work of the cloth.  the pieces of cloth.  and in the instance of the cloth and cloth pieces,  from watching them on the wall,  from moving them,  from putting pieces next to, near other pieces.

so…What If  this large cloth DOES turn out to be some kind of            cape.     some kind of stitched cloth that i might wrap around me at certain times????    i really don't know yet.  i won't know until Magic Diaries begins or maybe even goes along, continuing along for a while.    but i do know that i am very absorbed by these pieces on the wall.    this morning,  when i sat down to begin watching them for the first time today,  i immediately saw that i wanted to rearrange certain ones.  and i did that.   and they immediately began imagespeaking about an order of progression of things and Why that order might be, What that order might represent, and what usefullness it might have for a Cape of What's Next.

so, we'll see.  everything might change, i am really aware of that.  but my guess is, at this moment that the rearrangement seen here will remain pretty much or completely as it is in the pic.  and to add now:    the lizard cloth that Jude made, and sent me, now at the top of this order represents to me not just this particular cloth, not just a representation of Beasts Workshop, not at all a gift from Jude,  but it represents ALL of what Spirit Cloth means to me,  the "finding" of it,  the receiving teaching from Jude,  the inter-relatedness that has occured with the women in this cloth community,  and finally and most WonderFull of all,  the finding of a way to express things that i have been driven to express for my entire life. 

ok.  am going to print this.  will read it later. 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

spending time just looking at color and shape.  i sit in front of it and sew nine patches.   sewing down the seam sides with invisible stitch is just feeling so good.  the patch feels so uhh,  settled,  when this happens.   so,  again, just looking.  getting up now and then to try something else up there.  i expect this to continue on until July.            nothing is for sure yet except Jude's lizard and the moth moon.  and, of course, all the variations of that blue/green/grey.  but how that will be used, i don't know. as usual, i want to leave it in one piece, kinda just applique other pieces of cloth i love to it…but i have been working to move past that mentality and i want to continue with this One.  will have done a LOT of daydreaming by the time Magic Diaries begins.  and kantha.  there will be a lot of kantha on the borders…like the Window Hangers for Wendy's kids.  maybe a bell and a tassel, maybe hidden things, under flaps.   see?   this is how its going here.