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    it will all fall into place…………….. i think.
    we don't much give credit to our mind/heart keeping
    as much track of us as it does…this is a pic from
    ll/27/07. i went back
    through reams of pics, looking for a particular one
    which i guess was lost when the computer went down
    that time
    it was of the three of us. me, daughter, granddaughter
    building the door to the ROOM
    but…here is one of daughter and i working on the ROOm.

    the ROOM is what we made for these window hangers.
    these window hangers mean
    something
    more
    than i consciously am aware of
    at this moment in time, this
    point
    so
    am listening, watching, opening
    to whatever it is

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    i am
    almost tongue tied.
    how does someone celebrate their birth day when it finally does come?
    arranging small pieces of cloth over and over and over until she finally
    pours herself a cup of wine and begins to say thank you.
    i want to THANK YOU ALL for the very real and great importance you have taken in
    my life this year. your interest, encouragement and very real Beingness for me.
    i think i have said this before, but it merits repeating…when i talk about
    this blog, about your blogs, about the whole Spirit Cloth world, people comment
    that it is as if i actually "know" you all, as in have met, face to face….
    i feel we have. we have met cloth to cloth/heart to heart and it is very REAL.

    so, here i am. i have realized in these last days, giving it all a lot of
    attention, that i had indeed internalized some thought forms about what it means
    to reach 65 years. how i had internalized something about what that might mean
    i guess according to my american culture. that you get to uhhhh, maybe slow down?
    you get to begin to ummm, tone down and get golden? hmmmm. as i said before,
    fine tune?
    well…
    i have always been what you might say is "my own person". this has been both
    positive and in certain ways, not so much, but it seems as if stuff is just wanting
    to keep on coming.
    it's been a year now, since i found Spirit Cloth. a year my birthday. i look
    forward to continuing, the deepening, strengthening of all of it and i thank
    you, all my cloth sisters, and most, i thank you
    Jude.

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    i have gone through all the comments for this and the last cloth and want to
    respond to them…i will, maybe tomorrow.
    but for this moment,
    YVETTE: the question…what will we do with them? well, for me, i learn still.
    it still is so hard for me, when i know that the mountains are "there", but
    "there" makes it too crowded, top heavy, and it is so HARD for me to put the
    mountains somewhere that they aren't…
    or, even harder,
    leave them out altogether????? eeee.

    so i learn about this cloth making. have FAR to go……

    but, all day, and i have only gotten this far.

    WELL…
    this comes in response to Deb G ~

    remember, i was going to say something about something, the something having to do
    with a birthday…
    well, i decided that i had nothing to really say.
    but then, Deb G said what she did
    and
    here i am…saying something.
    it's kind of about clotheslines.
    Everywhere i have lived, even if it were only for a few months, i have strung
    a clothesline. i just like them.
    and here, i had thought i would be forever. i had thought
    i would be
    hone
    ing
    my self
    my life
    here.
    maybe not.
    this year, when one would think that now begins the time of uhhhhh,
    "fine tuning" a self, well
    might not be so. might be a year of making an entirely
    different life?
    my daughter has proposed the thought of creating a place where all of the family,
    my spawn,
    might gather in the near future or in the long run
    with the least compromise
    and funny, because the "least compromise" is not about me, because i am the only
    one who LOVES new mexico.
    so….i may be setting up a new clothesline one of these days in the near future,
    or the middle future. i think not the Far future, but who knows.

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    i spent a lot of time not wanting it
    to be the clothes line. but it IS
    the clothes line.
    and once i let it be the clothes line
    then, First Bird could come.

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    i drew on this gourd i grew, maybe 10 years ago?
    it is one of my favorites, not because i did so
    well with the design, but because of the "scar"
    on the back of it's perfect shape. looking at
    the scar, i just began to draw the fish, which had
    nothing to do with anything.

    i am sitting with this cloth this morning, "asking"
    for that same experimental mind

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    finished.

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    many things about this year of my
    life…
    this arrived the other day from Marti,
    Fieldlady…who for so long would comment
    on nance/nandas' and my cloth work but always
    adding that she did not do such things.
    What she has always given us through the
    years are beautiful photographs and beautiful
    words telling of her meanderings through
    fields and down wooded paths, her collecting
    of the "sacred ordinary" and placing these
    twigs and blooms, pods and leaves joyfully
    in her home.
    When India's book Eco Colour first was available
    here, i immediately knew it was going to
    become a necessity for me, and then i
    suddenly knew the larger reason and was lucky
    enough to get two copies. Since receiving the
    book, Marti the field lady has become
    EcoColorista Supreme, creating some of the
    most delicate and elegant cloths with found
    and thrifted materials. i have been seeing them
    as it all has unfolded over the months in
    photographs she has shared but the other day
    a package arrived and here, oh here, an
    array of such amazing generosity.

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    and i am ready.
    Jude Hill's Cloth Whispering

    how amazing to write the words.

    the notebook is set, pens, pencil

    an opportunity of a life~time

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    just above the computer screen, webbed
    to the little lamp, actually, a web
    on her eyebrow
    O'keeffe

    she monitors my earnestness

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