windthread

 

ok. big storm coming…It's balancing on the Rim of the world at this very moment and will roll down from
the West any second… barometric pressure, whatever that is, is sensed as changing drastically

which is appropriate to the day.
I am uneasy, restless about this patchwork. maybe because it comes right after the Cloth to Cloth and the
Spirit Cloth. i think so. there was just a natural FLOW then and now, there is this challenge.
I spent much of the day trying to figure out how to patchwork a lizard and it didn't work, lizards are all
curves and i made 3 cloths and 3 lizard cut outs and …. nope.

so…i sat.
a while.
but wanted to
sew…which is what i have done every day now for what? 2 months?
so
back to butterfly 2. how can i make this…"me?" eeeee……
so i went to the shelf and took down the bag that has scraps from a woman i know…the bag called Probably
Will Never Use
and riffled through…hmmm. flowers. ok.
and here we are.

 

how interesting a human being is. and i speak of myself because i am most familiar to my self…and a further
episode of Weaving Selves Together:
Beast Workshop. a simple pattern for a patchwork butterfly.
and what ensued was startling. a small chaos of just 8 small pieces of cut paper. how big? square or
rectangle? the ruler supposedly making reliable measurements is not. what one would assume to be the
same is skewed. work work work to make a correct paper pattern of 8 pieces.
close enough.
choose fabric: left and right must relate. this is hard.
cut pattern pieces, see that they fit, stitch, press seams flat with iron, stitch bands etc etc etc
all the while running back and forth to Jude's peaceful little video where everything is exactly as it
is supposed to be and referring over and over to the printed instructions…………

i can feel the neurons clacking in my brain, like they are just a little off, like when the truck is "missing",
something has shaken loose

so, finally, the 3rd body is fat enough to pretty much cover the flaws and here is a
patchwork butterfly.
Who would guess this would be such a challenge?

and then i dream and am restless all night waking many times, getting up, looking at that butterfly, and i
suddenly understand something that has been such a mystery for so long. it is crystal clear.
and i am aware for the first time really of how i have either resisted or been unable to follow a pattern
all my life. i don't know which yet…but it's true. and i refer to Pattern in neon. like in living, like
how i took off and wandered and chose the last 21 years of my life, all free form…no pattern at all…

very interesting, all this. today i will try it again.

 

a quiet process. stopping to look a while at each step. talked to self, things like
"okay, this goes here, pin it. and again. good."
dogs lined up and watched, listened.

i am just going to let it all rest here for a while.

 

for a long time into this beginning, the running commentary in the mind
is: i don't want to do this. i don't want to do
patchwork…cutting things, ironing down seam allowances
and i don't but keep going in the spirit cloth way
and then, thinking of the bird that got blonde hair, i
remember saying i am not good at whimsy, but appreciate it in others.

whaa
whimsy, and i think i can't but keep going
and
here is a baby goat.

deanna said
we are all beasts.
this has snagged me, sure as a lobster.
what would i look like as a
beast?

talk about perfect…………
the horses got loose. 5 of them.
running up and down
back and forth
shrill sounds

as always, they are
FREE
do they run
for the mountains?

no.
up and down the road….
shrill whinnying
and it's almost dark.

 

 

 

 

these are some….

 

continued on.
invisible baste
small details around the letter of intent and the surrendered dress
i have now, not a fabric collage, but a
cloth