windthread

1. Gy hi

 

 

words tomorrow

 

 

will carry me through the Rain Time.    I'll wait till December to look inside.

Let each day be lived as an "altar" to LIFE.     ?      One of the first thoughts upon waking this morning.   I am wondering what it could mean.   

and then,  just after dawn turned into day,   i heard that unmistakable call of a Goat in distress.    Through the window i could see that they were all up here as usual…where they wait for the morning hay,  all staring at something and going out i saw a Goat on her side….legs sticking straight out as they do…..it was Mercy.  She was on the incline,  back and head on the downside.   I don't want to go into detail,  there's no point,  but i was able to "right" her and she stood,  caught her balance and began moving.  Two steps at a time,  two steps until she got where she wanted to go which was under the table out there where she likes to wait for her daily Zinc gummy which she loves.   and she just stood.    I sat a few minutes but came back in to finish my tea.    and i thought of that sentence as i prepared myself for the worst.   She was still just standing there when i went out sometime later to feed.   And as i finished throwing the hay,  i saw that she had come down…was standing at the periphery of all of them  but there..it's a long walk.    She has health issues.   She's i think 9 years,  10?   not young.  None of them are except for the two wether boys.   and again,  with long standing health issues.      But she carried on with her day.   Had it not been for those moments   in the morning,  i would not have thought anything was out of the ordinary.   I am grateful that i had fair warning of things changing for her.  What ever happens now will be more gentle because of this.   She is the one of them that i think of as "my" Goat.  I love her.  So i thought all day about that morning sentence….Let each day be lived as an altar to Life…thought how this will become a part of that,   whatever it might mean.

 

I love the feeling of it…Learning….how it OPENS OUT

in talking with Alyssia i was uhhhh,  ….taken…by her saying,  yes.  Radical Acceptance,  the strategy,  the tool her VA Therapy Group had worked with for over a year and i immediately recognized that…it had felt familiar…and that,  from the things she had shared over that time.   But they called it DBT…Dialectical Behavior Therapy and as i have continued to learn,  Tara Brach refers to this as the source of her work with Radical Acceptance.   And i  wanted to learn more….and FOUND MORE,   SO MUCH MORE,   right now it feels endless,  all just      There    if we want it

Radical Acceptance,  a strategy,  a tool   developed by Marsha Linehan  in her work of Dialectical Behavior Therapy

and how did she BEGIN?    She realized that she was missing a critical understanding that she needed to help people in her work and

took a sabbatical

went to  a buddhist monastery for some months 

so…i can begin.   And there is the sense that this is where i can find what i need amidst the onslaught of all that is befalling humanity and all that humanity is Causing this Beloved Earth and oneanother        …a way to live 

and as an ADDENDUM to the post of  11/2    no war on my road      In the comments,   Nancy posts the link to the video of the Child   for me,  the One image of war

so this goes deep.  and i understand and also love that it's not just the learning of it,  the knowledge of it at all…it is going to be the PRACTICE of it.   The all day,  every day Practice of it.   I am ready.

 

a conversation of Tara Brach and Stephen Fulder      What is our Refuge in the Midst of Crisis    YouTube

he said,  among much more,   a simple thing.   When feeling overwhelmed…go Out Side.   and

See

that Life is Still There

 

and then…on FaceBook

a young girl,  black/white pic   maybe about 7 yrs old

her Tshirt reads:

Birthplace:   Earth

Race:  human

Politics:  Freedom

Religion:  Love

 

there were 5.    Today i found all of then had cracked open.   Ate one while there,  will save the others for Alyssia and the kids.   Jenny if she comes.   This is an Accomplishment and i am grateful.  They feel like some kind of Blessing.

i thought i would write about things…wanted to,   but then late in this day realized that it is way too soon for it.   I wanted to write about the thing of Radical Acceptance.  How it is tied to this moment of nearing the ending of this thing of the 77th Year i've talked about.   Tied because at the last Gathering at the Well,   i spoke of feeling like 2 me s….the one of this Hill that was Good,  maybe very Good and then the one of me that is a citizen of this world that is so so heartbroken and grasping to understand and how i can't minimize that second self…can't….and won't  and  Wendy's response…."Do you know of Radical Acceptance?"  and me,  sorta….know the term but…..and i go looking and there's all the Tara Brach YouTubes and more …so much….but by late in this day,  i still need something just a little different….  so i'm not at all ready to write about this.  AND  i continue to search.   Search to "know".   all while knowing that Knowing won't help…..

a Noam Chomsky interview..at 7:21 Pacific Time tonight….56 minutes old….FRESH,  the old man…      What will we DO when all of them die?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

every generation says this about Their Own,  but…..eeeeeeee……

The pic above.   A rather small tree.   had been dead.   but there and suddenly,  as i was at Jack Flash's Gate the other morning there was a LOUD Snap,  break,  Fall.   How it goes on this hill.   Trees die for many reasons and at some point just SNAP off at ground level and fall.   I walked under this one to feed Jack twice a day every day.  for going on 6 years.   Directly under how it fell.  it was LOUD….the Goats ran,  Puppy ran,   Minnow froze  I turned to see and stare.    This is all that happened here,  on this Hill.   No war.

out of no where as it happens there was a TicTock thing…how did i get it?,  don't know but i did.   A TicTock of a video. Seconds long,  grainy,  black and white of the form of a child   in fetal position  crouching and their hands grasping a small tree ,  head bent into it's trunk.   a Palestinian child.   Looks like carved of stone…i think maybe covered in ash…..STILL.  the child is Still

a figure appears and touches,  then goes out of the video then comes back to wrap something over the back of the child and lift it away from the tree at which moment the child begins to tremble.

I saw this a few days ago.  It didn't leave me.  and after i first saw it,  i couldn't find it again.   I've kept looking.

like i do,   I had that "Little Sleep" this morning.   I wake at maybe 5 or 6 something…have the first Tea and then go back,  to lie down…drift to sleep in meditation,  the Little Sleep,   20 minutes of a little sleep  and how it is that I  TRUST what is there….in my mind upon waking

and this time…..i saw this video.   And i saw myself as the one who gathered the child as it trembled…i saw that what my work was,   my ONLY work was        was to Hold the child.   into my body,  our hearts beating.   Maybe forever.   Maybe the child might need to be held Forever.   Maybe it could never speak again,  move again and my work would be to Hold it.   So…this.   

For now,  this will be my meditation.   Holding the child. For both of us.  the child and for me.   I will do this.  Every day.  to learn something about  Radical Acceptance.    This is the world i live in.   

ADDENDUM  11~6  Nancy found the video.   Gave us the link…down in her comment.   I am so grateful…Love, nancy,  Love

 

it's only been some days but feels like a LONG time.    and i should say,  it's not a laptop…it's a chrome book.  It's the exact same one as the other one but it

works.         and i guess has internal updates.    the thought came….the blog is like the house of  my mind.   ?      i think about this thought.   in a way it is that,  maybe,  but also more.   It's where i am with Us.   i will keep thinking about this…

there was extra time.  to reconsider.   i brought out the rolled walnut cloth with these pinned on…..spread it out as best i could and realized things.   There was no way i was going to be able to do what would be necessary to complete a Blanket,  let alone 3.  The reality of my space is too small.   so i   "sold out"  .   Alyssia and i had been looking at these things on FaceBook….Many sizes and this is the Throw size.   50X70.    100% Muslin.  Soft.  has Lift.   expensive.   but   POSSIBLE.   She picked the color…earthy grey.   I'll need to take it to her house to lay it out on the floor,   figure out the placing of the pieces,   pin securely enough so i  can roll and unroll through these next months.   this is good.   And if it works,  save up for a second one.     and part of the other thing that has taken root in me during this time….that came from the Gathering at the Well…..  words that Wendy gave me….Radical Acceptance….

There are  no school buses here.   You take and pick up your kids.   Julian has a half day on Wednesday and Alyssia had an appointment in Chico.   Jeff picked up the girls but that left Julian…so i did.   We decided to go to Panda Express…his fav,  they don't go often,  too expensive for all of them,   i wasn't sure where it was.   So he googled Maps and we DID IT tho i somehow got us lost on the way back but not so lost that we were really lost and we were happy about that.   It was GOOD.   really GOOD.  I think he has agreed to be my wandering partner.   Maybe that will be on his half day Wednesdays?   I want to find GoodWill. on my own.   he is really kinda cheating,   but  again…that Radical Acceptance and what that can bring….      But what came of this was driving back up CarefreeWay   i saw,  along the edge of the road by the creek

Plantain          bright.   vibrant.   viable plants      after the All Summer Dust Covered ones       From the couple days of Rain in the last week or so?   But Vibrant enough  to be harvested and used to begin learning how to make Plantain salve.    Minnow and i can walk down

so….I'm Glad to be back….i Thank You for coming here,  listening to these things and responding and me then,  responding to your response and maybe that can ripen….?    

Love to you All

Love to me

Love to the Planet

 

 

 

 

 

 

New one ordered