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for some reason, i feel i can't come here unless i have    "something to show for myself"

as in…something i have made. accomplished. 

i have been mostly thinking about equilibrium.  looking for  equilibrium:  1.  a state of adjustment between opposing or divergent influences or elements   2. a state of balance between opposing forces or actions that is either static or dynamic (as in a reversable reaction when the rates of reaction  in both directions are equal

things aren't static.  or equal in both directions.  and i keep thinking that if i look long enough, wait, i will find some equilibrium.  it's not happening.

there are at least, and i made a list, 10 things, ten factors, that are in motion, in this day that are strong in the mix.  some are personal, example: i seem to have severely compromised my sciatic nerve.   some are of my immediate community:  my neighbors have been evicted.  others are of my larger community:  Lybia and Japan.     i look at them and they seem to weigh equally heavily on my sense of equilibrium.  this is strange.  how can this be?, i am thinking.  how can Japan or Lybia be similar to my sciatic nerve?…or, to my neighbors plight? 

pics above.  Kadir.  the beautiful and magnificant Anatolian Shepard, livestock guardian dog.

jude's woven piece

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

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37 responses to “equilibrium”

  1. jude hill Avatar

    same here grace. something unsettled. strangely humid and unseasonably warm weather, the world in crisis, a woman dies too young, too many leaks in the roof. and another ridiculously big house being built next door. my eyelids feel heavy all day for no reason, or maybe all of them.
    that beast is magnificent.

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  2. handstories Avatar

    wishing you and the rest of us balance and an easing.

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  3. manya Avatar

    kadir is truly magnificent
    and yes, here too, the world turns upside down with devastating would be’s..but they last a few hours..boy needs surgery(says one doctor) but its nothing says another..and that is one of many..and pains lift their head, and go away again..it seems there have been huge jolts to the world,
    King Solomons ring had this always true writing on it: this too shall pass
    how is the nerve? wishing speedy recovery
    and the little cloth…it looks so “together” emanating a “compactness”but not hard
    hugs

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  4. Jill Avatar

    seems we are all in tune in our sense of unbalance at this time – not surprising really – turmoil in various forms all around and within … kadir is just wonderful – looks eminently huggable

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  5. KaiteM. Avatar

    Kadir looks big enough to make us all settled, if only he could put his foot down and say “enough!” I know how you feel, i fear the news and at the same time am strongly compelled to listen to/watch it.
    I hope your sciatic n. pain settles soon…that will be a start. hugz, k.

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  6. Deb G Avatar

    We are all woven together on some level… I was reading an article this morning about how the disasters in Japan could affect our world…about how it could fundamentally change our lives, our perception of vulnerability. I had to take a break from watching the news/looking at pictures for awhile, and just be in the moment as much as I could. Equilibrium is going to be a long time coming I think, if ever.
    I hope your sciatic nerve pain feels better soon. Kadir is beautiful.

    Like

  7. Valerianna Avatar

    I’m with you. I can’t seem to “get my groove” the last two weeks – an underlying stress. There are some real things stressing me, but there is also a larger weight. I wonder at the earth shaking, and spinning waters, and such fear and suffering and conflict and resolutions and more conflict.
    I know I need to wrap myself in the remembering of myself, root into the forest here and turn off all the scary input – not to forget, or deny, but for self-care – so that the dream I am dreaming is for healing.
    Nerve pain is the worst, take care.

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  8. Suzanna Avatar

    Thinking of you Grace…sending prayers and good wishes for the easing of the nerve pain. Last night we had a very ferocious thunderstorm…it must have been right overhead. When I looked out to check on the birds, the ground was covered with white…hailstones (one-quarter inch), everywhere…and this morning there are still quite a few remaining. Very very slippery to walk on…like marbles. And it’s cold…this will probably not be good for the blossoms that were starting. It’s all quite unusual. Your pictures are very heart-warming.

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  9. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    for no reason, or maybe all of them.
    ?do we feel things more intensly right now for “good
    reason”? is what i am wondering? am beginning to believe
    it is so. there is purpose here. equilibrium is fading.
    purpose and continuing is on the rise.
    lilac buds appeared for the woman who died
    yes. Kadir is magnificant. in so many ways. and he
    loves me almost more than he can bear. it is something
    to be loved like that.

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  10. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    cindy…or willingness to “stand and face what we know”

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  11. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    yes…a “compactness”. i want to be like this little
    cloth

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  12. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    that is why i say these things….i think too that there
    is a shift possible

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  13. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    Kaite…he is Jude’s dragon

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  14. jude hill Avatar

    Something like a bucket and a scrub brush.
    Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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  15. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    Deb…”how it could fundamentally change our lives, our
    perception of vulnerability”
    does this NEED to happen??????

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  16. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    self care. it’s all becoming the same to me.
    SELF/self

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  17. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    i want
    to warm your heart, Suzanna….i love your heart.

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  18. handstories Avatar

    yes, true…there is a heaviness & a lightness to your insight. there’s some balance in that.

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  19. Herm Avatar
    Herm

    Thinking of you also and wishing you were all right – many years ago my mother had a sciatic nerve severe pain and nothing would help her, until a doctor told her to have injections of vitamin B and the pain went away — ask your doctor and try it. love,

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  20. Deb G Avatar

    Yes, I think it does. As a society, absolutely. On so many levels.

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  21. deanna7trees Avatar

    i wish you calm nerves grace. i know how painful that is having suffered with that problem several years ago. i think with each tragedy, we realize how much we are at the mercy of nature. so much uncertainty. i think we must find our peace within for i do not believe there will ever be peace in the world until every one of us has achieved that inner peace. Kadir–such a sweet dragon.

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  22. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    Herm…thank you for this info. i am collecting it, in
    case. and it would be correct, B vitamins are needed for
    the nerve sheaths…i’d forgotten that. so many details
    to the organic self.
    thing is, in this instance, i know exactly what caused
    this. it is a weakness i have, it seems. has come and
    gone to a much lesser degree for a few years now. but
    this time, was the result of my hauling 10 heavy oak
    pallets from one side of the very large space, half acre,
    to the other, then stacking and restacking them how i
    wanted them. when i was doing it, i knew it was not a
    good idea. i CAN do these things, but maybe 2 or 3 at a
    time. 2 or 3 the next day. but….i did it all at once.
    in about an hour.
    so…this is the lesson. and i hope i have been given it
    in time. that if i honor it i will be able to heal what
    i have caused.
    i haven’t been to a “doctor” for almost 30 years. i try
    to stay very aware of whats happening with my body. it’s
    worked so far…knock on wood. so..we’ll see. today
    it was significantly better. working with reflexology
    on the sole of my foot too. and more. will talk about
    that later.
    thank you and love to you,

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  23. helen salo Avatar
    helen salo

    With all this “unbalanced” feelings we all have, one must go to facebook to Glennis’s (shibori girl) and from Thursday there is a post on her wall titled “the unbelievable letter” and it truly is: unbelievable. It is a letter from someone in Sendai and she mentions a cosmic evolutionary step occuring. A must read!

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  24. Catherine V. Bainbridge Avatar

    Grace, i have some cathing up to do here!
    if it’s any help (which i’m sure it’s probably not) i feel ‘it’ too. unrest. gravity’s pull. i’m sure alot of it is astrological. you don’t get great big full moons without some shifts on a human scale, surely?
    remember… balance is actually static.
    Herm has a very good point about the Vitamin injections. I have a condition (polyneuropathy, axional, acute, demyelinating, inflamatory) and somewhere in that lot, they detected a Vit B12 deficiency, believed to be responsible for a deep brain stroke that I’ve suffered. I had to inject myself weekly for a couple of years, and I can’t tell you how much that helped. i don’t think it would be harmful to try it for a while and see if it eases your pain. trust me, i know all about nerve pain, and sympathise… deeply!
    hugs
    Catherine

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  25. Peggy Avatar

    Oh dear, me too — with so many of us feeling out of balance, I can’t help but hope there will be a turning point with this full moon. And then Spring Equinox tomorrow is a time we can take pause in the balance of it all. Not do anything, just stop for a time. I look forward to it and maybe even to feeling calm and able again. It’s (still) all good, yes? Healing light to your sciatic nerve, dear Grace, from me — Peggy.

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  26. Linda Avatar

    grace
    i am like the rest of these wonderful women. I have been sick for a week.. still not well. feel very scattered. can’t sit and do anything … just too … scattered, uneasy.
    guess the world needs a little warm love to cover it. a spirit cloth for the world.
    i also feel like i can’t go the blog unless I have produced something. i sometimes want to just say where i am. i see it on other blogs, but don’t do that much. maybe it’s time our blog became more of a journal about where we are not what we are doing.
    just another thought.
    at least it is spring here and maybe the mud will dry up.. guess that’s a stupid thing to say thinking about japan. another reason to be unsettled..

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  27. Diana Trout Avatar

    Wishing you well, Grace. This is resonanting with me as well. Am sick together – which I am never! – and have had such a struggle lately with working. Thinking, also it is the moon, and the sadness and unrest sweeping the world.

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  28. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    i can be at the mercy of nature. something about that
    seems as it should be for me. even when it is tragedy.
    the planet must shift.
    but it’s the human nature that i find very difficult.

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  29. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    helen…i don’t have access to facebook. i wish whatever
    you speak of was somehow on glennis’ blog…i went to
    look, but no…can you speak more of this here?

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  30. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    Catherine…ok…have noted this too. am keeping a little
    notebook on suggestions…but today there was significant
    easing of it. if it continues, i’ll be ok soon. but
    it’s wait and see at the moment.
    i really appreciate tho any info anyone can pass along.
    i wish/hope it would be astrological..i think that always
    enters into what goes on anyway, but this seems so
    exaggerated…~

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  31. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    i think some of this will remain for me…it is a shift
    in what i’m doing about things that have great meaning.

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  32. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    i think the response is not surprising. to me it would
    be surprising NOT to be scattered, unsettled,
    i am thinking too about how to deal with these times
    blog wise…

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  33. grace Forrest~Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest~Maestas

    diana..i can’t really imagine NOT being affected by
    all that is happening. am working at FEELING it and yet
    continuing within that feeling…

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  34. Acey Avatar

    well you know the old native saying, or at least I presume you do. A nation isn’t conquered until the hearts of its women are lying on the ground. For most of my life I have viewed the planet as “one nation” because from my perception it very much is. Much abstracted non-linear communication among many of the alternative healers who have become very close friends and second family to me over the years. There is joy and a great deal of clear eyed courage circling around, despite or maybe because of the dis-equilibrium. And I think that is a very significant part of “human nature” right along with the other stuff that can lead to significant despair or confusion. To me it’s the most important part. You have a nice little community here and that can easily be a jumping off place rather than the whole story of how and why, etc.

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  35. helen salo Avatar
    helen salo

    The first part of the letter explains how everyone is helping each other and they leave their doors open and find gifts of food from strangers, etc. “just like in the old days” But the ending paragraph: “Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed an enormous cosmic evolutionary step that is occuring all over the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if i felt so small because of all that is happening. I don’t. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.”

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  36. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    “clear eyed courage”
    thank you for these words, Acey. and thanks for coming
    back to us All.

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  37. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar

    helen…THANK YOU for putting those words here ….
    i very much appreciate it…
    a wave of birthing, yes. this is how it feels. like
    that time of
    OH!
    YES!…transition…yes, when everything kicks in and
    there is no turning back…
    how interesting….
    again…thank you so much

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