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about making one’s self clear

a lot of times, anymore, and more and more,  the longer i live alone and the longer my world becomes populated by only internet people,    i find myself not even really trying at all to make myself clear in conversations.  i don't know if this is good or bad.  maybe it's neither.  or both.  whatever,

but when someone inquires about what's going on with me lately,  i have talked about my quest for walnuts.  sometimes it's very short.    "i'm trying to find someplace where i can look for N Mex native walnuts"    the response varies from       oh.      to      what for       and then to   oh           not an animated conversation.  so i had one of these with the geologist son of my alzheimer woman who i also work for.    they do a lot of geology field work all over the state so he would know, i thought.  and anyway, i reported to him about no walnuts this year.  i must have sounded particularly sad because the other day   Honk Honk Honk   outside the big gate.  all happy, he presented me with this surprise

001

it's 2 lbs of pure Walnut powder.  he located it on i-net.   for dyeing hides.  Traditional Tanners in Cave Junction, Oregon.   the directions that came with it are interesting.  they use a pound for a whole hide.   so.   here we have it.              

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23 responses to “about making one’s self clear”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Well I’ll be. You never know when gifts will come and with this one, you won’t even get stained fingers! I attended a Celtic festival this weekend. Lots of tartan plaids on display and one in particular, caught my eye and I reached over to touch it only to find the woman behind the table, frowning at me. I quickly explained that my hands were clean, jut stained from dyeing cloth with walnuts. She then smiled at me and asked why on earth I would want to do that. So I found myself telling her of my love of walking in the fields, foraging for natural materials and of the joy and magic to be found in dyeing cloth this way only to find her eye glazing over. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be too clear!
    Now then grace, I hope you will report back on dyeing with this walnut powder You aren’t thinking of dyeing with hides are you; but then it opens up all sorts of stitching possibilities like making boots, shoes, purses, vests, etc…

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  2. Susan Hemann Avatar
    Susan Hemann

    I to have been on a quest for walnuts for dyeing. Nothing yet near me.
    Sometimes the people I know do not understand my creative mind. I find support on line, although it can be lonely here.

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  3. jude Avatar
    jude

    powdered. well i wonder how they do that? maybe a good way to deal with too many walnuts.

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  4. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    well….being someone who created this little life i have
    very deliberately, i find this cloth Community to be
    just totally great. for me, it’s perfect.
    but yes, people in our lives just kinda going blank…
    but then, am thinking, maybe i do that too about what
    other people find interesting and wonderful??? i will
    think about that.

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  5. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    i don’t know. but this person evidently is involved in
    doing things in old tried and true ways
    an old timey dude

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  6. Suzanna Avatar
    Suzanna

    I am so glad to hear these walnut stories…how voids are filled…hurrah!

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  7. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Hey Grace—I just brought back a bag full of Black Walnuts from Massachusetts—and I really want to know how to powder them if you can find out. Meanwhile, they are drying out (from the rainy weather). I experimented a little using the whole nut in it’s hard shell, but only for a couple of days there, where I had the outdoors for a studio, soaking them in vinegar with the cloth. now I’m home in smaller indoor rooms with more limited space and a small kitchen. Maybe I’ll boil a few, then let them sit with vinegar to stop the rot. Do report back. Also–anyone who wants a few, I’ll be happy to mail them (very heavy so only a few till I hear, or discover how to powder them)–write me at my email (on my blog if you look).
    As for clarity–well, for a writer, clarity might matter, but in life, and poetry, as with most conversations, clarity is nearly impossible–we change so quickly that once a thing is clear, it is already in the past. Our knowledge of each other seems to me to be cumulative over time, and through many experiences (either in person or on the net). The more I know myself, the less I have to explain, or can explain, or need to explain. Basic to all exchanges that last is good will. If that stays steady, nothing else matters.
    Steven Wright, that dry wit, said something amusing about messages–“I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.” And about living alone– “Hermits have no peer pressure.”

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  8. deanna7trees Avatar
    deanna7trees

    i did find a site awhile back where they sold all kinds of powdered dyes for natural dyeing. a friend brought me a few walnuts some months back and having the actual walnut gives different markings on the cloth and that’s the part i love best.
    i’ve given up ‘making myself clear’. i really don’t think it’s possible using words. as hard as one tries to clarify, i think most people have preconceived ideas in their heads and they don’t really hear why you are saying. and you have to be on the same ‘wave length’ to be understood.
    you are better with words, grace, than anyone i know.

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  9. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    google and you shall receive.
    i typed in
    crushing walnuts to make dye powder
    and as it goes…a flood of info

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  10. jude Avatar
    jude

    ok then, i am going into production for as i was walking yesterday i cam upon a grove of walnut trees;;;;;

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  11. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    you are incorrigible.

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  12. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    he must really appreciate what you’re doing for Mum. and i didn’t realise the significance you finding that walnut yesterday when i asked what it was, sort of an omen now after this gift.

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  13. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    no, no hides. i am a devout woman of cloth.
    eye glazing over…yup. seen a lot of that. you hear
    your own voice trailing off. this is a great story tho.
    i can see you.

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  14. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    “how voids are filled” hmmmm.
    voids are always filled, i think, one way or another and
    i’m thinking that i’d like to take responsibility for
    filling any i run across in the best way i can….
    thank you, S, for this good thought…
    xoxo

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  15. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    yes. goodwill. always good will. YES. and yes.
    and to me i think this means a strong urge for
    EXCHANGE
    a back and forth
    i really know nothing about dye anything without the
    SUN. i cook nothing. and won’t because i am too cheap
    to use up propane that way. save it for food.
    although….speaking of truth, even tho we actually
    were and werent, i CAN heat stuff outside in that
    wood stove out there.
    but really, at this moment anyway, i like leaving things
    be seasonal. like the idea of closing down that part of
    my mind for the winter. keeping warm is a lot of work
    in my life. it seems enough.
    am glad you are home

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  16. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    deanna, that’s a really nice thing you said. and really,
    the internet has helped me try to “say what i mean and
    mean what i say”….as my granddaughter’s answer machine
    message used to say. Say what you mean and mean what you
    say. i liked that a lot.
    yes. the marks of the hulls, the potency of the hulls.
    but…here i have this 2lbs of powder…..i think it will
    encourage me to do some wrapping which i haven’t so far.

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  17. grace Forrest Maestas Avatar
    grace Forrest Maestas

    yes. he does. his wife is very interesting. she is very clear about what she does and does not do. i admire her very much for that. no wishy washy stuff. i really like her a LOT. but…one of the things she does NOT do is
    anything about his mother. i fill that gap.
    and yes. an omen., a sign.

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  18. KaiteM. Avatar
    KaiteM.

    a lot of people are like that grace, they seem to think that if they dont notice or do anything to help then the problem doesnt exist, its very sad. shes lucky to have your assistance.

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  19. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Wow so much good conversation here. And so well said. I try to make myself clear in writing as it is not possible to go back and forth right away to clear up confusion. You Can go back and forth but it just takes longer in between words. Yes eyes glaze over and my voice trails off or I feel myself explaining something in a nutshell until I get the sense that they would like to know on a deeper level. Example: I took the mother-daughter feathers with me to get more floss…I got compliments and questions that didn’t really require much of an answer.
    My life is fairly solitary these days…especially as my guy’s hearing gets worse. I have been thinking that I have become quieter (not online, in real time). This may change, we’ll see. I like the conversations here in the Spirit World so much, more ‘getting it’ going on!
    I have been throwing the odd walnut in my driveway into the pot that is out there now. They haven’t really begun to fall yet.
    Grace you do good work, with cloth, with elders who matter, with your slice of the New Mexico world…
    Coming here is a pleasure.

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  20. Tammy Avatar
    Tammy

    Well it was interesting to read the instructions for your Black Walnut powder and was surprised to read that boiling up the powder made the color grayer. One of my dance friends gave me her walnuts that fall off her tree because she doesn’t like them and never does anything with them. She gave me four full grocery bags. I have already boiled them up, drained them and filled four bottles of ink. I like to boil it and then leave it sit for a day or two to let the air reduce the liquid more. It always gives it a nice thickness to it and if I forget and keep it out too long it starts to develop mold on top and I just strain that out. It will still probably come back but I just throw that part out and use the ink that’s left. I love the colors of brown that I get and boiling whole walnuts never left me with more gray color than brown. I’d read some where that you can take the pulp and let it dry into cakes and then use a mortar and pestle to grind up the cakes into a powder. I think I even read somewhere that some places have walnut extracters so you can take your walnuts and have the hulls removed for the nuts. I’m guessing you can ask for the hulls back. Anyway .. I have been busy making walnut dye/ink. Can’t wait to see what you do with your walnut powder. 🙂

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  21. stitchinglife2 Avatar
    stitchinglife2

    I understand this. I am not a good conversationalist; I find in real-life company I don’t know what to say, and then I think I have nothing to say, and in any case everyone else is having a perfectly good conversation without me. But writing a blog makes you think about what you do want to say, and makes you find the words you thought you didn’t have. I’ve always found you to be very skilled at expressing your self. And then there’s the whole other issue here about asking and you shall receive. It is true. And sometimes, as in this case, it can be like magic.

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  22. nance Avatar
    nance

    where are you, susan?

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  23. nance Avatar
    nance

    michelle, i am not sure what you have there. i tried boiling up some walnuts when i was learning cherokee baskets. that is one of the traditional dyes. so when i went back to class with mostly native women… they got a great laugh because what i didn’t know was that you are meant to use the fruit around the nut. what you see in the grocery store is only half the story. i think i am basically a city girl at heart.

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