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Day 5 and Unsure

i couldn't sleep in the middle of the night last night.  got up and just  looked around for a while.  went outside and into the big place where the goats sleep and they were confused at my appearence.  they made quiet sounds,  Mercy got up and came to the fence.  i came back in.   went back to sleep and when i woke this morning it was to the "thought" of

There is too much thinking.  you are thinking about thinking.  it's unnecessary.

hmmm. 

so, before i left for work again,  i spent time with the Unforseen

003f
just moving things around.  looking. 

002f
and i realized that my way of Being in general has changed a lot, in the last years of Cloth Making.  I don't think i Can or Want to, go back…to Thinking.  and even tho there was some humor to it, even then, i don't think i can do things in a "structured" way, a "scientific" way.  the first of the Unforseen cloths will ask for a lot of just looking that might take all of me,  maybe for days.  so, one day may turn into many, in a good way.  001f
and i was out this morning to the big buck pen's water tub to find this early being floating.  and i thought it was dead, but when i fished it out, it was not.  and as i look at this pic, i like it how all the lines on my very dry fingers are marked by having scraped out the residue in last year's Indigo vat (in which there were 3 very dried up pieces of cloth). 

 

 

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24 responses to “Day 5 and Unsure”

  1. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    Yes… thinking. I’m in a moment of overthinking, too, I think.
    Immediately thought of indigo when I saw your fingers – AND thought of ALL of you blue-fingered people today when I fished Indigo watercolor out of my box. That was nice, having all you cloth people in the studio with me for a while 🙂

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    blue fingered people…
    and Indigo…third eye.
    i think the premise of my “research” is strong, and still good,
    but it needs to go it’s own way. and funny, back to an original
    thought of not really liking
    grids
    how much a calendar is a grid.
    i would so love being in your studio with you

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  3. Cathy Avatar
    Cathy

    I loved your fingers too!~ Very artistic~ You are retraining your mind it sounds like~ Let it flow~~~ ♥

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Hey!, Cathy…i think my “mind” is retraining me. and yes.
    flow
    is an important word here.
    and i went to your blog and see that you are a Jesus person and
    how great is that, that there is
    common ground.
    thank you for the little heart…

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  5. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    you, jumblie, you.

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    o, o, thank you for saying this.
    i AM a jumblie.
    i AM just a Dharma bum
    and it’s ok

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  7. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    more than ok.x

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  8. Minka Avatar
    Minka

    I’m thinking a lot this week and looking forward to just being. It will cycle back around. Like your photos.

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  9. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    thinking/feeling is overrated!
    and you know I’m wondering what thinking really is??
    it’s like we live and breathe and eat and sleep and wake and make love and work and clean and make a mess, of ourselves and our lives, not all of the time, but you know what I mean; and we try to make it fit ‘together’ as if our lives are a story, with a beginning, middle and end, as if there’s a plot. We try and put into words what we’re feeling/thinking in order to explain why we’re doing what we’re doing, but if I’m honest I often don’t have a clue…..
    I’m not scientific although I am in a small way empirical at the same time realizing my senses often fool me, I’m rational up to a certain degree, I’m most definitely ruled by my hormones; I know I want to be loved and be able to love back, I don’t want to live alone, I don’t want to die alone(that last thing is asking a lot I know)that’s about all there is for me.
    I love the pics here, especially of the wall and your blue hands

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  10. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I offer this: “Knowledge is awareness and to it are many paths, not all of them paved with logic. But sometimes one is guided through the maze by intuition. One is led by something felt on the wind, something seen in the stars, something that calls from the wasteland to the spirit.” This quote is by western author Louis L’Amour and when I came across it, it explained so much for me how I view my days, my acknowledging, accepting or discarding the offerings presented each day. There is intellect and then there is gut instinct; they are not mutually exclusive but I find the older I get, I pretty much go with gut.

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  11. Doris Avatar
    Doris

    Even if I don´t comment, I follow every post and it gives me a lot to think . Just want to say this, the rest isn´t ready for words yet.

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  12. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    love this quote Marti and Grace please share photos of those scraps of Indigo cloth that were scraped out of the vat… they would be such a very intensely deep blue… I like where your research is leading you!

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  13. jude Avatar
    jude

    i like to think. not sure how to stop it. thinking or liking it or not. even talking about not doing it is doing it.

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  14. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    Minka…thank you. and i get tired of the cycling, really.

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  15. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    “explain why we’re doing what we’re doing”….
    i think that’s a lot of it. For Me. we all have
    different reasons. and i am always it seems, trying to
    explain it to MYSELF…and a lot of it is circular. the
    DOING things really don’t need explanation. they ARE
    the explanation.

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  16. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    i love that word
    wasteland
    always have

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  17. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    no. actually, only one was deep, a sleeve overdyed…it
    was a horrible pink linen. the large piece was actually very light, almost greyblue. the vat had been exhausted.
    had evaporated. only a crust on bottom.
    and the research, well…i think it will just be
    where i already am…but you never know.

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  18. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    hey Doris. whenever i go out the gate i go past the
    “snake tree” and say hi to it from you….

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  19. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    i don’t know if i do anymore or not.
    and you are very right…talking about not doing it is
    doing it.
    i don’t know if i like talking about it anymore.
    there’s a word used in psych
    perseverating
    that’s what it feels like to me when i get caught up
    in times like this.
    and i guess that was at the bottom of the research project,
    to come to some kind of conclusion ONCE and for ALL. but
    maybe that’s not forthcoming for me in this lifetime.

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  20. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    circling ever circling those glimpses of the magic just out of reach seen from the corner of the eye & always if you look at it too square on it disappears in the blink of an eye.

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  21. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    i seem to be in Doris’s camp. but sometimes i comment just to make my voice heard even if i really don’t have anything to add. then my voice is just noise waiting to be acknowledged. and sometimes i comment and try to really be clever or what ever. but lately i’ve grown very tired of that–in myself. but i still love hearing your thoughts and the thoughts of others and i marvel at what seems to me to be such a group of bright women. that being said, my gut has proven more true over the long haul–my thoughts and emotions are apt to change from one day to the next.

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  22. kat Avatar
    kat

    Sometimes I find thinking can let me circle feeling, especially when feeling may take me spiraling down into something a little too deep and overwhelming. Thinking, instead, keeps Being at bay for a little while longer, until I am ready to feel ~

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  23. Nance Avatar
    Nance

    I find thinking about talking and talking about thinking all very exhausting. I like to think and talk about what I find interesting at the moment.
    I like martis quote … And who would have thought it would come from Louis lam our…. My dads favorite author!

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  24. grace.porvida@gmail.com Avatar
    grace.porvida@gmail.com

    …interesting at the moment….hmmmmmm

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