because of doing the Albuquerque trip yesterday,  today, then, was cleaning day at the Old Cowboy's.

and maybe here is a good place to say some things about House Cleaning as a way to make a living.   Actually, it was a HUGE Unforseen.  never would i have guessed.  however, it worked.  really well.  New Mexico is a minimum wage state.  it's the best they can do.  and even when i was Director of the Program for Children and Families at the state prison for a while, it was barely more than minimum wage.  i would present programs at the state capitol to the Govenor, etc. and be making barely more than minimum wage.  but that was ok then.  i was doing something worthwhile.  and i was being groomed by the Director of such programs for families for the entire state.  i suppose if i'd stuck with it i would have taken her job and been given a state vehicle to drive when she retired. but, i didn't.  In New Mexico i also worked at an art gallery.  i worked as some kind of "i don't know what", my job being to ride horses with her at breakneck speed through arroyos and not fall off. i worked for a young woman who had an online art doll business.  sewing.  what else…i worked doing private hospice care for terminally ill persons.  i worked for a while in Albuquerque even as a Temporary at a warehouse for "as seen on TV" stuff.  my favorite was when i was doing fishing lures.  this was an assembly line job.  and really, when i remember it, i remember it with GREAT fondness.  so many stories.   My daughter was in school then and doing housecleaning to keep her and her two kids afloat beside being responsible for a quadraplegic University professor.  Sometimes when she was in a bind, i go help her.  She taught me about housecleaning as a

job.

and then,  it just kinda went along.  at one point i had 10 homes to clean and 2 persons to look after.  the cleaning made the most income.  an average of $25/hour minimum.  and everyone is happy. 

so this is a long way to today.  as i began,  it was the Old Cowbow's cleaning day.  i have been cleaning his house in Socorro for 18 years this August.  he moved here after selling the family ranch in Steamboat Springs Colorado.  had beaucoup bucks.  bought this little house.  set up camp. and through the grapevine, i began cleaning for him.  he is alone.  has a cousin in town but she pays little attention to him.  maybe twice a year.  so, he's kind of alone.  OR, really alone.  i was just about to begin describing him but i think i won't.  what is the thought of this moment is that having done what he needed done on an ever increasing grade uphill, i am Stuck.  Today, if he'd had his best hopes, not only would i have unloaded all his shopping stuff, done a load of laundry, and gone to walmart for the stuff he forgot to put on that other list: paper plates, WhiteOut, and small garbage bags…cleaned his house, BUT i also would have shaved his head and helped clean out his garage.  also, at some point i need to groom his Chow dog who has mats.  which i will do.  but i ignored the veiled requests for the other stuff while doing the Silent Screaming that Jude mentioned.  and when i got home i was so wound up.

So i did something very UNUSUAL for me.  i sat on the steps.  i just sat.  i sat and entertained whatever thought came into my head until a new one arrived to push away the other.  there were a trillion.  and all the while, i was noticing the bowl that had somehow fallen under the porch sometime this winter and that i see everytime i go up the steps but do Nothing about.  well, i fished it out and tried to wash it but those two tomatoes are petrified in there and are soaking till morning.

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32 responses to “Day 13. a difficult day to describe.”

  1. Deb G Avatar

    I spend a lot of time on the steps. A lot of times just sitting, considering the garden, watching the dogs, enjoying the weather, listening to the birds. Other times I have something to read, my knitting, something to sew. It almost always brings me peace.

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar

    i used to.
    i don’t.
    anymore.
    i have gotten used to Just Going. i Just Go. at some kind of steady clip.
    i don’t really read much anymore either. i read the beginnings of books and the ends of books. saving them. i guess for someday when i don’t just go so much.
    it’s really interesting to me. how it’s changed.
    that i do all that listening, enjoying, watching, while at the same time Doing.
    more than ever before in my life. i don’t know what to make of it, really.

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  3. deb Avatar
    deb

    I made a good living cleaning homes and houses for almost 10 years. It was hard to leave behind, like being a prostitute-good money and easy work if you can put your mind elsewhere while you are at it. It’s nice to be appreciated with cash.

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar

    oh!, interesting thought…
    but maybe it’s because of the houses i cleaned. i quit
    a LOT but the ones i kept
    it was like i established a relationship with the
    house itself.
    it’s Raising the Vibration. and i like that.
    as nance says…developing a Socialist mentality.
    you have more of something they have less of and vice
    versa.
    two hours and $65 is nice. and everyone feels good.

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar

    except for the old cowboy. he is miserable. generally.

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  6. roz Avatar
    roz

    so interesting to hear this story. i knew to expect an interesting life path and this one does not disappoint…a few curves and turns and loop de loops.
    love the name , the Old Cowboy. surely a character from a movie , at least to me in my world.

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  7. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Yes, I’ve had many jobs for cash, but that for another time–I’ve cleaned for cash too, always because of a relationship. It’s a complex thing–wanting to be of service, or “raise the vibration”, and often, in my case, the other resenting that wish, then I found I began to resent the work. Totally inefficient exchange of the negative side of things. Real house cleaners keep their distance, have a routine, and it’s all simple and direct. When I was working full time and keeping dogs and cats, I had enough money to get the help of a cleaner every other week (a Polish woman a neighbor used regularly), and needed it too. I was never comfortable with it. She was a few years older than me, friendly and energetic, but I always felt like I was exploiting her. Sometimes now, I clean for a friend in need, and that’s fine. Then money doesn’t get in the way. It’s always tricky the cash for something thing. It can be done but requires a certain skill. I have two well to do friends who use the services of others…one exploits shamelessly and expects service as her due…the other has long term friendships and fair exchanges with people she pays for helping her. So different……but, back to you on the porch, thinking…I see you there when I think of that. I might even feel a little of your ‘stuckness’ with the miserable, increasingly dependent old cowboy. I’m glad you got that bowl out../it’s a really nice one.

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  8. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    One more thing–when I was in film school a hundred years ago (Ha!) I collaborated with an NYU student and we made a film called “Women’s Work” about 1} Women trying to break through the male dominated non-traditional fields like plumbing, carpentry and welding because they pay so well, and their struggles with entrenched unions–and — 2} House cleaners-we got a group of black women organizing for rights, and to have their employers make Social Security payments because when they got too old to work (one was 80), sometimes for minimum wage, and some of them heads of households, they were left with nothing but welfare poverty. The people I met then, and the insight I gained figures in to my own attitude toward work.

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  9. saskia Avatar

    I wish I managed to keep our house clean!! as a student I had a cleaning job in the town hall as a temp; after a half year the company offered me a contract, but I wasn’t ready for that and continued combining studying with odd jobs. In a way I still do that: a job in the office and art-in-the-studio, plus there’s always the HouseHold with three men and a dog, basically I’m the only one feeling responsible for hygiene-in-the-home, alas. They do what they can, which isn’t enough and we can’t afford a help, so we manage and live a dusty life.

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  10. mimmin dove Avatar
    mimmin dove

    sounds like a good deal grace, most cleaning jobs here in the are minimum wage and that would be the equivalent of just over $9 an hour.

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  11. mimmin dove Avatar
    mimmin dove

    sorry I meant to say ‘here in the UK’ x

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  12. mimmin dove Avatar
    mimmin dove

    I too have had cleaning jobs (never earning nearly as much as grace though) and find it is nicer to spread the load. We are four ‘adults’ in the house now, so I made a cleaning rota and all tackle an area of the house weekly. I like to feel the kitchen and bathroom are clean and laundry done but dust doesn’t bother me much at all.

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  13. patricia Avatar

    Really enjoyed reading this–this window into your past and present. Women are so amazing–resourceful, courageous, keepers of the what?–fire perhaps. or maybe something else– And the picture of the bowl w/tomatoes. THAT is beautiful. Two red tomatoes from last year. It’s the little details like this that make a life, i think.

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  14. Mo Crow Avatar

    hey Grace… meybe it’s getting to be about time to let all the outside stuff in your world go, to sit on the step and just look & breathe in your space, the plants, the goats, the crows, the lizards, the grasses, the raft… they all need you to just be there & have plenty of time for the dreaming & stitching of your wind cloths and let us know when you have one for sale as they will sell instantly and do the milking and make the cheese and yoghurt and barter the spare locally.
    NB if you put the hours into the making/stitching instead of the cleaning you make a living
    (I said to the wife of the friend who gave me that bone moon recently, “why is Richard working in an office? If I could carve like that I would just stay at home and make beautiful things all day!”
    The thing is I can & you do & I understand about the money because I garden for the rent & to pay the bills and put food on the table, the money is good and I enjoy it but there will come a day when our customers will need someone much younger, that’s real and it’s not that far away… I’m dreaming of looking after Silver Sebright bantam chooks (they look like living lace!)

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    i think that happens here too…depending who is cleaning
    and who they are cleaning For.
    for the most part, except for the few elders, i worked
    for Geologists, professors at New Mexico Tech, the
    college that is in town here, Socorro. they are couples with 2 good incomes. no kids, interestingly enough.
    The two jobs like this i have kept/keep…they have
    horses and want to spend their time that way. not cleaning house. no one is ever home. walk in, clean, put the money in your pocket and leave.

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    i should let you keep that image. but an indie movie
    maybe. he is severely crippled with arthritis that
    over the years aggrivated a congenital spine thing.

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. it’s the increasing dependance. but i have been
    clear all along that the care giving things i will NOT do.
    like the hair cuts. when he can’t do them himself anymore, (which he still can, just doesn’t want to) (but he’s on the brink) i will find someone who does that work and he can hire them. it’s just going to be hard making
    that transition. he is miserly. worries constantly about his money.

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  18. jude Avatar

    house cleaning, health care, these are things that are needed. i think they are important and clear cut. when i was in Turkey, I came to see it all differently. Housecleaning and care for others is a valued and necessary part of an economy. And it is done with care and skill.

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar

    the racial/socio/ecomics of caregiving and cleaning was
    interesting to me at first. being a college educated
    house cleaner. for me it was how i could spend the least amount of time Making Money away from my own personal
    life.
    Alz B constantly harped on why i didn’t do something
    “professional” while all the while denying that she
    believed that certain jobs were fit only for women of
    color or immigrants. we had a lot of testy conversations.
    When we were out and about, i’d always introduce myself
    as her cleaning lady and it would really annoy her.

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    dust is an ecosystem.
    “you couldn’t pay me” to work in an office anymore.
    or a hospital. or, really, anywhere where i was
    required to spend the best part of any day of my life.
    not anymore.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    really, there are a million ways to be resourceful. it’s the “benefits” in this country that keep people chained
    to their jobs. and maybe that’s changing now, since
    benefits are no longer being offered? don’t kno.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar

    MO, i KNOW those Silver Sebright chooks!!!!! They are
    BEAUTIFUL birds. there’s a guy down the road that raises them.
    well…i can’t just ditch the Old Cowboy. he is not
    an appealing person and gets less so as it goes along. he’ll be 86 in June.

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. it can be. and if i were 10 or 15 years younger
    i would get a partner and we would make a very good
    business of care giving. people here, the ones that
    teach at the tech need this. care of the person’s home, their yards/gardens, and them in it.
    if you are skilled, as you say, and are capable of many things, it is a very good thing to offer.

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  24. jude Avatar

    yes, it needs to be looked at with new eyes in this aging population.

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  25. Mo Crow Avatar

    ah the responsibility of looking after people’s homes for a long time… we are growing old alongside our customers so the ones who are 20 years older are getting seriously ancient & you’re right we can’t just abandon them now, they need the familiarity but yes to bringing in some younger folk to help with the heavier tasks & the caring side of things like cooking, bathing hair cutting etc. A few of our customers have ended up in nursing homes over the past 20 odd years of gardening here in the Big Smoke & we did have to let one old fellow go last year, advised him to get his dog walker to clean up after his dog daily. he had left all the dog poo in his tiny courtyard for two months! No one cleaned it up… the man, his cleaner, his carer & his dog walker waited for the gardeners to do it! There was two garbage bags full & he was shocked when I called it quits! It’s amazing what people think we enjoy doing!
    I do have a thing about working for people who treat me with respect & he had forgotten in his dotage!

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  26. roz Avatar
    roz

    ha, i know this well. as a person with a qualification that chose to work in retail for years and years, a job i left at the door on my way out each day and could then come home to my ‘real’ life and devote all my attention to that. family , garden, making, world.
    i love that descriptor …’the man who mistook his job for his life ‘ or woman.
    i must say i always cringe at the conversation at ‘social ‘events ..so what do you do?
    was always tempted to say , grow lemons or count matches. or a friend of mine would sometimes reply with ..why do you ask ? there is so much emphasis on employment and postion in world and putting people into categories.
    now i say i work from home which says nothing and means whatever they think.

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  27. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    May new eyes sprout in all the movers and shakers, the politicians and lawmakers, the every one of human beings.
    May enlightened self interest rule.

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s a phenomenon.
    for a long time, when in those situations, i would
    deliberately not answer until well into some mutually
    interesting conversation, and MUTUALLY is the key here,
    and then somehow turn back to the question of What is
    my Place here in this social situation and then…take
    some satisfaction in saying…i am so and so’s cleaning
    lady. and watch the eyes glaze over and a kind of
    vagueness fall like a curtain.
    more and more i have no interest in that experience. i
    really don’t care about much of anything like that anymore.
    but then…i don’t need to repeat and repeat and repeat.
    too much interesting stuff.

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. it is a wonderful thing to not be desperate. there were times in the early days of all this experience when i was
    desperate.
    but as that changed, it was quite wonderful to be able to say…Do it Yourself.
    once, i was left a note from a woman in town who is very much well thought of. she and her hubby had been sick.
    had the flu. and had dropped snotty tissues all along
    the edge of the bed. i’d left them there. cleaned around them. next time, the note: Would you please check along the bed and under for things?
    i wrote NO. on her note. and left. that was that.
    i see her around, like in more social situations and we are ok. i hope she understood. and i hope whoever cleans for her now doesn’t pick up their germ ridden tissues.
    WHO KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar

    OH SO, YES. i think about this SO much, watching, looking.
    More and More seeing people in their 50’s having parents that NEED things. as i talk about, Alz. B…and all the
    others that are at her “facility”. and you with your
    mother. there is a way, a good way, for people to be
    Looked In Upon, for a long time. that relieves the family, and usually is the One Designated family member that is responsible day to day. the younger generation,
    in this case, you, in this case, Bill and his wife Nelia,
    should NOT need to give up their own lives at this point
    for caregiving. it’s not right. Everyone is entitled
    to try to do what they can with a Lifetime. with their
    own gifts. Bill and Nelia are very gifted scientists who
    had spent Nov thru Feb in Anarctica for over 15 years. with the advent of Betty’s dementia, that’s Over. it does not need to be. we just need to think differently. we
    need, yes, New Eyes.

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  31. grace Forrest Avatar

    enlightened Interest. more light. more looking.
    more changing.

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