so…no need to Reply.

When i first started this blog thing, it was to record my work with Learning Cloth Making with Jude.

What happened with that?

well…i guess that the cloth making is Part of my Experience and the rest is everything that is not cloth making…like what i do in my days.  To ME, it's one in the same.  Writing it here is not one in the same. 

Wha.  how can i say this.

i never think ahead of what i am going to say here.  it's just what comes out of me, raw.  as is.  i don't have time, or want to TAKE time, i guess to think it through ahead, to write it down and "preview" it.  i just don't want to do that.  so…it is what it is.  and really, this blog is first and foremost a journal of my days.  a journal.  and the thing that makes it clumsy is that it is public.  i could make it private.  for my eyes only. 

Question:  Why would i do that?  would that be Better?????

for pretty much all my life i wrote journals, Morning Pages, etc. etc.  and i got really tired of it.  and stopped.  and for some years did NO journaling of any kind.  that was good too.  it's a common question.  why does someone put their thoughts "out there"…not because they think they have anything particularly wonderful to say, but because they for whatever reason find it interesting or useful to see their inner workings in print????

this morning i made myself a little Sign that i pinned to the curtain over the computer screen.  it was to cause me to….PAUSE….to maybe even Filter OUT some of what i might write here.  and all day i looked at it.  Should I?  Why? 

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and in this moment, i am thinking like Popeye.  i am what i am.   My children's father, my first husband used to get so tired of me.  he would leave rooms with the words "Lighten UP!  so…i know certain things about myself.  but back to Popeye. 

I am going to just put this DisClaimer here:   I AM A HUMAN BEING IN PROCESS.  I THINK STUFF THAT CHANGES ALL THE TIME.  NOTHING I SAY HERE HAS ANY PARTICULAR TRUTH EXCEPT FOR ME IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE.  IN FACT, IT MAY BE TOTALLY WRONG.  but i won't filter it.  what comes out will come out.  particularly in this Year that i have committed to.  if i werent posting every day, some stuff would just dry up on the vine and blow away inbetween posts.  but every day, we see every day. 

so…if for whatever reason anyone out there continues to read here,  i just hope you will disagree or blow me off or whatever seems right to you.  best of all…say so.  one of the true things of value in my sense of it is that we get to SEE so many "others" and we get to gain a sense of how we are like them or different from them , but always, there seems to me to be some Common Ground.  if nothing else than another woman trying to make sense of what she perceives to be a life.

so…Ta Da.  done.  for the moment.

and this is happening on the Wall:

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24 responses to “Day 17 Just thoughts and if i knew how to disable comments i would for this one.”

  1. Deb G Avatar

    Grace…you can turn comments off by selecting this post in your post list, going to the bottom of the page and on the left hand side there are three buttons, just click on the one that says closed. Sometimes I feel like turning comments off too, but for different reasons I think.

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar

    that’s because you are
    a nice person. always.
    sometimes i am, sometimes i’m me.

    Like

  3. grace Forrest Avatar

    Sorry about all the comotion.
    Let’s see if i can make the Everyday thing work. maybe.
    maybe not.

    Like

  4. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I’ll say it again: this is your blog, say as much or as little as you want but whatever you do, take down the sign that you made because you simply are not responsible for how others feel when they read your words. My Dad used to say, when I seemed to be over the top, “Tu te cantas, tu te bailas” which means “you sing and you dance”. I was 15, the first time that he spoke those words to me and I asked him what he meant. He said, “you make your day how it will be so move along with it and at the end of the day, move on because tomorrow is another day.”

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  5. Penny B Avatar

    I know you didn’t want comments, but I just wanted to record that I was here and to let you know how your musings always touch my soul.
    Oh, and I agree with Marti!

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  6. follows thread (aka patricia) Avatar

    i like marti’s suggestion–take down the sign. i’m taking down my own although it’s only in my mind. so can we get back to the sheetrock trimmer? mr. bill aside. horrors. shrieks. it would be more accurate to say you ONLY need to use it when the hooves are already trimmed, and in good condition! and truly, it’s not a torture device! it’s like a very large fingernail file! love

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  7. follows thread (aka patricia) Avatar

    oh, and my my. that narrow long cloth on your wall. oh my.

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  8. Cathie Avatar

    who is that beautiful lady?
    I mean you.
    I think we have much in common on the inside, Grace.
    Isn’t that why we are here?
    Isn’t that why we do this?
    I have a feeling you have much to say.
    Much that is relevant.

    Like

  9. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I’ve come back because I want to say something about what is on your wall: When I was working on my cloth petroglyph, there was such a deliberateness to what I was trying to convey; how I carefully chose what I took as windfall to dye my cloths, the sense of order in pinning pieces and scraps, the painful because yes, stitching is still painful for me as I try to gain more experience with needle and thread. How in the end, what I was trying to do was talk story without words. Words and cloth can both be interpreted in many ways depending on many factors. Sometimes I think with cloth, intent is such a huge part of it because we sense how hard it is to bring forth what we want to say without words so we pay closer attention. Words fly off the cuff; taking the time to dye cloth, pick thread, bring a vision forth, is measured, is thoughtful. Not to say that words cannot be thoughtful but for me, cloth quiets the conversation in a way that adds to my daily ongoing conversation, whether or not I share it with anyone but myself. SHE, on your wall, with her megamendung thought bubble is a watcher, her gaze kindly and direct. Only you know her intent but there is intention here and I sense a reverence as well for what she gazes upon. SO already I feel a connection. Obviously words bring forth connections but in this moment, on this day, looking at her on your wall, the visual far surpasses words and so I will sit quietly, watching with her, as I see what story she brings forth from you and how we receive it…

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  10. jude Avatar

    i turn comments off now and then. to take a rest. to give others a rest. to make it seem like i am talking to myself. to see if it changes how i feel about blogging, to focus on image. to just change it. or when i just need to bitch without getting feedback. or when i am too busy to have a conversation. or when i know i will be misunderstood. when i run out of words. when i am not looking for an opinion. or just cuz i feel like it.

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  11. roz Avatar
    roz

    just wish to share with you that your yesterday post and the conversation that ensued ENCOURAGED me to share about my own well of feelings over at my blog. i opened the door a tiny bit more…

    Like

  12. Mo Crow Avatar

    I would trim the horse’s hooves with a sharp curved paring knife and a rasp it was easy and they enjoyed it! It will be OK, Gideon will like it, just explain carefully what you need to do, show him the tools and let him know what the procedure is you’ll be surprsied at how much he enjoys it oh and some peanuts will help too!

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  13. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar

    Dear Grace,
    I’d love to say …well, I am going to write it down properly!
    another letter …soon.
    eva
    some things ought to be said via snailmail…that’s much better than turning off the ” comment” button. Maybe we all should realize this old fashioned option is still available.
    Take care,
    eva
    I often end a post with “best wisehes” or “have a great day”…with you I often feel the need to say “take care”

    Like

  14. yvette Avatar

    grace, i hope you don’nt mind if i leave a comment here but i so much want to say to you that pure grace eithout any polishing is so precious for me
    you know from the goats and if you could see my dogs…..fully theirselves and what a privalige ( pivilege?) to learn just by being with them
    grace sorry but…tears
    tears from recognising
    you

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    Marti…isn’t it Something, how those dichos remain, ever
    ready to speak to any moment? i am always a little stunned by them. they are like arrows.

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    Penny…it means a Lot. Thank You

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    follows…sign is still up for a while till i understand
    more about what i meant to myself.
    a very large fingernail file. Perfect, oh, Perfect words.
    love back

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    that’s what i’m thinking too…oh my. What’s going on
    here????????????????????

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar

    Cathie…THANK YOU so much for words here, for coming here.
    and yes. i think we all have so much to say. and
    it does need saying.
    thank you and xo

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    Marti…these are such beauty FULL thoughts and words.
    and yes, the truth is that the cloth speaks closest to
    the heart. There was some “relief”, from a sense of
    struggle with words when just those two pieces of cloth
    were pinned on that one long one that had been there for a while., Waiting.
    I love you…

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    i think all those reasons are good. but i don’t know
    about yesterday yet. i need to look at it more.
    But i THANK you so much for writing these things. i am
    still groping sometimes with it all.
    Love,

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar

    Roz…i went to your place. words are not right yet…
    thank you tho, for these here. thank you very much.

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar

    Eva…you are so beautiful about this…how you
    honor the written word….
    and yes. i am taking Care. Thank you, love

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar

    yvette…your presence is Reassuring for me. I count
    on you to hold me to the good place. to tell me ever if
    i stray.
    dog and goat love to you

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