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Day 25 ~Intention~

Wind continues.  i watch the old parts of the wooden fencing for movement.  go out when i see it and reposition whatever it is that is propping it, holding it.  wonder why i go through this again.  why i don't just go out there this April when Wind has for the most part gone back to the Mountains and dig post holes, put in new posts. 

But back to the Altar Cloths.   i think i will try.  and that requires just going, just Beginning.  So…

002f
7 1/2" x 11 1/2"  plant dye muslin on plant dye old cotton of some sort on undyed raw silk..noile.  the weight of it feels good.  i barely invisible basted it and let it soak in water overnight.  put it on the clothesline this morning.  gave it to Wind for a while.  now it's on the table and i am looking.

and i'm thinking about whether or not i need to say anything at all about altars, or my own sense of altar.  i guess maybe a little.   for me, there is no connection to "worship".  more, it is about Intention.  about Focus i think.   about identifying what is important and creating focused intent.  so that's me.  for anyone/everyone else, it can be anything at all.  and this morning i was thinking about when i first created what would be called an altar.  it was when i was doing the Lamaze classes.  Pregnant with my daughter.  they suggested a focal point to practice our breathing with that we could bring with us for the birth.  i created a small collection of things.  on a small piece of cloth.  it was a 27 hour labor and it worked. 

altars can be anywhere and everywhere, too.  i have that one in the post of the other day.  it stays there.  but there are others in the house and outside that move and change.  and here in New Mexico, altars on the dashboard of vehicles are common.  sometimes when i feel like things are moving very fast, i might make a temporary one, maybe just a cloth with a reminder note, and set it on the kitchen counter.  where i have to work around it, be careful, which helps me slow down.  so, how would i define altar?  maybe as a designated space, created with thought full care, with meaning full things that help Acknowledge and Focus Intention on some urge toward uhhhh well, hmmmm.   toward_____________________.  fill in the blank.

so right now i have NO IDEA what these cloths might look like.  they will all be very different one from another.  and different sizes too probably.  so i don't know.  but i am going to make a little altar cloth altar now when i finish this and see how it goes.

 

 

 

 

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59 responses to “Day 25 ~Intention~”

  1. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    27 hour labour, yikes; in my case both births were 8 hours from waters breaking to holding the baby in my arms, a day’s work, haha
    p.s. you have an order for an altar cloth from me…okay??

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  2. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    See, I told you someone else would press the buzzer first!!! Grace, what does soaking the cloth layers in water do?

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  3. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    all three of these cloths had a different feel to them. somehow
    and maybe it’s my imagination, if they soak in water a while and
    then dry together, they get to know eachother somehow….

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    and, about the buzzer thing…i don’t think that will be
    an issue. they will be very different and some or one
    might appeal others not…shape, colors. plainness,
    busyness. i really think it will take care of itself.
    xoxo

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  5. jude Avatar
    jude

    for me, it’s a place keeper.

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    O … this allows me to see more about your place keepers. i
    see!
    and thinking about name ing, re naming, a “personal language
    system” yes. i see you doing this.
    but/and
    i love the term altar cloth. as i work on them, i’ll think
    about why the term feels very uhhh, loving, to me. it says
    i love you…in the case of my “permanant” altar cloth…to
    seeds worked by insects, to birds that may or may not make it, to
    the Goats well being(Barbara’s horn scurs) to stones from far away
    oceans to seeds to the so simply carved stone endangered One to
    the hand that had the sensitivity to carve it.
    love.
    altar cloth is a Love Cloth. i smile. but still, i love the term altar cloth. Thank You for these thoughts……….

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  7. kathyd Avatar
    kathyd

    i too have an altar …to honor myself . i love the idea of an altar cloth . thank you grace.
    xxoo
    kathyd

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  8. jude Avatar
    jude

    alter is associated with religious offerings. i need space from that but in a way, it is probably the same thing that we are thinking. naming say a lot about the way we lean in story

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  9. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    hello..this is cynthia from jude’s what if…and i am sort of just coming in here for a moment , not to comment on the naming..which i have strong feelings about..but because i could not help it..i have just been jolted here or am streaking here ..smiling with my heart doing small dancing s of joy ..i was taking a break and reading your blog, going back is my reward for doing x number of necessary things…i was thinking of when i could stop and wite because i am moving to vermont..because pregnant goats who i love are waiting there…but i thought ok i can wait. to write about the goats, i am not with them right now, .
    .but then i came to the page with the picture of the “comet kid”..which i love beyond belief..my friend and i have had this picture…well a card of it framed in our classroom for years…..we both love it and have had years of listening to small children see it, interact with it, try to mimic it, try to recreate it….in many mediums..
    ok i am babbling here but it was such a joyful moment to see it somehow…this probably sounds ludicrous..your home is full of your beautiful and thought provoking work..i am sorry i did not know your dolls..the one one the” grace wall “was amazing, i am so happy to know i am in a place where i can see the progression of the things that you make and do…but it still there was such a sense of time and space and recognition of a small loved thing in my life and it made me smile to seet it on your wall…cynthia

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  10. judy e martin Avatar
    judy e martin

    Dear Grace
    I am enjoying your online journal and admire the way you can open up your insides and spill.
    xx

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Cynthia…well, are YOU a gift to me. Vermont, pregnant
    goats.
    ok. and you, writing the words you did over in Jude’s
    What If, and then coming here and writing the words you
    write here, ok then.
    YES.
    THIS IS WHAT I CREATE AN ALTAR
    TO.
    THE MAGIC that it is to be a human being on a Planet
    that is floating in some kind of Space and doesn’t
    fall down or up or slip. Why? How can that BE? and
    the Magic that there are butterflies arriving/being born that are so complex in their markings/colouring and
    that each from the same female are perfectly marked and unlike all the others from a different female butterfly when, really, there could just as well be like, ok, White
    butterflies. aside from the work of pollenation, butterflies are FOOD. so, why does this particular FOOD being need to be so incredibly ….INCREDIBLY multidesigned? Why not just all white, or brown, or blue?
    and why cant there be just one bird? why all the variation?
    and one saltwater fish. Function asks for variety, yes,
    but
    WHY ALL THE BEAUTY?????????????????????????????????
    WHY ALL THE FRILLS????????????????????????????????????
    This is the question i have asked from the time i can remember thinking at all…4?, 5? WHY ALL THE KINDS OF MUSIC is the way i first asked it.
    oh!…this reply to you Cynthia got mixed up with what i
    was thinking to reply to Jude just above.
    so…Holy Goats!!!
    THANK YOU….THANK YOU…for coming here and writing these words and loving that Comet Kid who means the world to me
    and my son. and maybe we are lucky to meet during this oh so vulnerable time of transition for you..? before you are settled and all proper again???? you are Wild right now and isn’t it just Magnificant???????
    and this is how my Altar works too. i will write
    CYNTHIA on a very small piece of paper and set it there.
    and each time i pass, will notice. and think:
    i wonder how it’s going for her and those pregnant does?
    I wonder if she is there in time for their kidding and
    can witness the miracle of how goats so beautifully and earnestly and amazingly give birth to such soggy tiny goats that just get UP
    and then with maybe one breath, Just GO!!!!!!!!!!
    THANK YOU. THANK YOU so much Cynthia and i do hope you will feel at home here. Hurry back.
    LOVE,

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Judy..as always, so honored to see your words…but
    WHY NOT?
    OR
    HOW NOT…in this moment. it gets too FULL.
    I SO WISH YOU WERE IN JUDE’S WHAT IF. that would be
    the icing on the cake.
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    for coming.

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. leave the word religious out and just use offerings.
    or not.
    growing up in a born again bapist world that reeked with
    ugliness that i saw even as a very young child in Sunday
    School,
    offerings on an Altar to me are very Honest and Beauty
    Full. and today, if i thought it would do any good, i
    might sacrifice a goat on mine to appease this f…ing
    65 mile an hour flatline Wind. We are feeling CRAZY
    here….the Goats, dogs, cat, me and that WIND that the
    hopi and navajo know…that WIND Has NO MERCY. SEEDS
    he screams…SEEDS… I WILL SPREAD THE SEEDS!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    AND JUDY…why can’t
    you?
    why can you come there, to the What If? and let us
    benefit from what it is you might wonder What If? about???
    would you??????
    it would be an incredible Gift to all of Us who
    did not have the WhereWithAll to pursue Art as you
    have??????

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  15. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    oooh..just sent two pictures of the goats..one will be from user107055 and one from breezy meadows..i just realized you would not have a clue who they were coming from….and because i have to i am sending one of gregina in the snow last week..she is not a goat, but a pig…due on march 27th….last year , her first, 12 piglets..we will see..the snow could stop soon though…..cynthia

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    i am LAUGHING!!!!
    a PIG!!!! Gregina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!piglets born in snow!!!!!!!!!!!
    OH JEEZ!
    oh!!!!!!!!this is so GREAT and WIND man has stopped
    to take a breath! maybe because of Gregina??????????
    WHO KNOWS?

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    kathy…”to honor myself”
    how can we honor anything at all unless we are
    counted?
    “ourself” being the only way we can know to move inside
    this world.
    so to Honor
    that self
    Honors All. yes? do you think????????
    xoxoxo

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  18. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    exactly

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  19. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    I imagine you know that in various shamanic traditions, the cloth represents a world in and of itself, or land/earth… there can be “mesa” cloths, and then there are divination cloths that many cultures use. I’m most familiar with African/Dagara cloths because I’m connected to a numbe of people who have trained with an African Diviner, Malidoma Some. So I love seeing all their different cloths, how they are painted and how they are used.
    I love both altar cloths and prayer shawls – cloth as a Sacred world and as a Sacred Veil -wrap. I love that you say that an altar cloths says, “I love you.”

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  20. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    i’m reading your thoughts on altar cloths and thinking–thinking that in some very real way, most of our cloths could be altar cloths–as you say–focused intent –identifying what is important.
    this is how i think of it, anyway. and it’s further clarification for what i do–what we do–working with cloth. making. expressing. why do we do this? because…because of this need to express and “identify what is important.” to ourselves, and if it happens that others resonate, well all the more wonderful. altar cloths. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    exactly.
    Exactly back.
    so.
    now
    Wind Man has retreated to the Rim of the West. Thank
    You, gregina.
    but the blossoms of the Apricot tree are blown to bits.
    as it is most years.
    WHY?
    no answer.
    so…we make Altar cloths. because of no answers and so
    much Wondering.
    Just now, SUN is cruising toward the Rim too. it’s been
    a Whole Day. one more. Day 23.
    and at the end of it, we, me, the Goats, dogs,cat, here we
    are. Looking.
    NICE, cynthia, NICE to have you looking and wondering.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. i am. familiar.
    but also, yes. i need to divorce self from any other
    tradition now.
    go from here.
    go from
    what is here. on this particualr acre of this Planet.
    so…i make my own imagined tradition
    of stuff.
    and then…sometimes look and notice that it is like all
    the Rest of the Stuff
    and it
    makes me
    glad.
    because it’s sort of the same.
    “cloth as a Sacred world and as a Sacred Veil~wrap.”
    and it DOES say
    I love you. to me. to any one/thing.
    yes.

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  23. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    ‘gave it wind for awhile…’
    makes me smile. smiling. feeling a little wistful, too.
    This could be mental wordplay, but if forming intention, creating beauty, identifying what is important isn’t worship, I’m not sure what is.
    on the other hand, one of my best friends was raised by born again christians and has a particular set of responses to things that even as a former catholic I don’t understand…

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i think so. yes.
    anyone. any one at all
    who has made something with their hands. with what they
    have
    available
    is really, doing the same.
    and i just went outside, it’s getting dark now
    after such a LONG STRONG DAY
    and the goats
    speak
    the say stuff.
    they say stuff because i came out. so…they say stuff
    i guess to ME?
    do i listen? do i understand that they are talking,
    TALKING
    to me?

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Dee…mental word play?
    No.
    Nope.
    i am too old. been around the block too many times for
    word play
    i am living like there is no tomorrow.
    forming intension, looking for Beauty, identifying.
    Wind is.
    Goats talk.
    i have children.
    they are seeds
    their children and the child of that child is
    seed.
    Wind blows seed. without Mercy.
    but then
    suddenly
    something says
    HEY!
    they have had enough. they can’t take anymore
    Hey
    and it’s quiet now.
    nothing.
    no wind.
    quiet.

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  26. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    well that’s a poem.

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  27. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    I meant that I was indulging in mental word play – not you. and I wonder why your response feels so rejecting…

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    oh…i thought it was word play In General. not me, not you, just in General.
    Generic word play. what we do. how we live.
    i don’t KNOW?????
    Why? does my response feel rejecting????
    TELL ME??????????
    because i is not so on this end…
    i really love you. would never reject????
    so…WHY?
    tell me

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  29. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    it’s me, obviously.
    I meant – it’s worship to create/intend/focus in the way you describe, so why not call it that? but then acknowledging that background can leave charges on words/concepts… so that it might matter to you NOT to call it that…
    but all kind of in my head, I guess. So, sorry about that.
    sometimes I get all junior high school about comments… where they land or don’t – I feel extremely sheepish admitting this, but there you have it.
    I have recently learned this process called tapping – it’s a form of energy psychology… listened to hours and hours of tappers talking about how to do it, its uses and marvels. Tomorrow I shall tap all about this – the need for approval, the meaning of silence, where and how I attach a narrative that doesn’t belong.
    because it IS me. not you.

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Dee…i LOVE this. ok.
    worship of
    What??????????, first…..
    WHAT am i worshiping????
    oh…and Tapping.
    yes.
    so after the Tapping tomorrow
    PLEASE COME BACK
    PLEASe
    because it IS US. it’s me and it’s you. it’s US.
    i know tapping, some. like i know a lot of stuff, Some.
    and how it all ends up to me so far is just that stuff
    about
    altar. about how we don’t know. about how we try to know.
    i think it is so beauty Full and elegant, this trying. Me. You.
    ALL of us. each in the way that makes sense to our own filters.
    so..
    if something
    clicks
    for you
    it might click for me??????
    i’m Willing
    and to add
    i WISH something would
    click

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  31. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    going to bed now. of course I’ll be back.
    ‘what are you worshiping?’ the present. the now. the being in it. truth. expression of truth. connecting with others in truth. making snippets of beauty that spring from the now. the present. the truth.
    again, it could be semantics – but isn’t what I just described (which is how I see you) a spiritual practice? a form of worship?

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  32. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    thats poetry and it makes sense.

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  33. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Seems to me that an alter is a stage, or plce, where something sacred happens or has happened, and an alter cloth acknowledges that ‘something’

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  34. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Life is a sacred thing, always was. Religion, not always named as such, was invented as a way to gather in community to acknowledge that, to sing it’s praise, to mourn it’s phases, and to help each other Organized religions, once broken into sharp devisions, fought over territory, and quickly became political entities that had lost sight of the core meaning of ‘sacredness’ No sacrifice, especially a blood sacrifice, will appease a flatland wind, as you know dear Grace. Lay low and stay safe 🙂

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  35. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    I just had such a rush of love for you, and for Cynthia, I thought for a moment my heart would burst light!

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  36. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Many paths for many persons.

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  37. mimmin dove Avatar
    mimmin dove

    beautifully put dee, yes i think this is right: grace worships the cloth by giving it time, space, intention, meaning and her heart. She married a cloth, jumped over the broom with it and if you don’t worship the one you love, well… trouble is our lexicons are all ever so slightly different, our own personal connotations.

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  38. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    way to go….a huge hands to heart bow to both of you–Grace and Dee. this dialog captured me from the onset. for several reasons. and it was beautiful and compassionate. you’ve both modelled such honesty here and a deeper than deep INTENTION of communicating from the heart–from the altar so to speak.
    i have a friend who said, yesterday, in response to some thing that was mentioned about “here on earth.” she said, “well that’s not how we communicate on my planet.” she was serious. (and she’s a very, should i say down-to-earth worman. ha) she pointed to her head and said with utter seriousness, THERE we just go into each others hearts and minds and SEE what is meant.
    i thought. hmmmm. i want to communicate like THAT. this word stuff can be so confusing and clumsy. so limiting in ways. especially when you add in the virtual experience as we’re doing here–the inability to feel into the other simply because the other, in this case, is 2000 miles removed.
    and DEE–oh, i’ve felt before in forums this feeling. that i was maybe misunderstood and it bothered me. but i didn’t come back and visit that bother online. and i applaud you for the courage to put it out there like you did. without bristle. without attitude. just wanting to be heard as you had originally intended.
    and Grace–oh Grace. thank you soooooooooooooo much for showing this example–for the world to see–this example of compassion, concern for others, the desire to connect from — i can only call it heart space–
    THIS really moved me — to the quick.

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  39. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    exactly!

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  40. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    ooooooohhhh I’m bursting and yet Intention, oh my all of the above and thank you Grace for your posts and what happens here is just too good, almost, too good but it isn’t it’s AS IT SHOULD BE
    it’s like the scribbling on the wood by tiny parasitic insects JUST GOING, feeding off the tree and that is the meaning of it all, we’re scribbling and feeding and then we die, but we were heard and seen by each other, we’ve shared this, this MUCH

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  41. scamp (aka Shirley) Avatar
    scamp (aka Shirley)

    “more, it is about Intention. about Focus i think. about identifying what is important and creating focused intent.”
    This statement has helped clarify for me what I think an alter symbolizes. I am stumbling in my attempts to create one, knowing that I want to, but not knowing how or where.
    Thank you, Grace!

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  42. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Dee I look forward to hearing all about this. As this is an easy place for me to go too. Just had it happen this morning in Target. Saw my neighbor, said “Hey”…she was with another woman I don’t know and she turned and looked at me like she does not know me, says, “Hi” and turns her back and walks away. This may not be the place for this comment…but what you mention about tapping intrigues me. BTW this is a neighbor I have spent countless hours with: hanging out, going for walks, playing with her granddaughter etc. I’ve know her 12.5 years. Weird.

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  43. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    Oh, Grace, this is so wonderful. I am overwhelmed by everything going on here at your place, over at What If?, at the Forum there, not to mention here in the world where I live (!), but just have to say how really light hearted your choice to make altar cloths makes me feel, how happy. And if I can share, for me an altar is ‘safe keeping’, not like ‘where you keep the family jewels’, more like where you keep a lock of gramma’s hair. Lots of love to you Grace, and the goats.

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  44. JennAnn Avatar
    JennAnn

    Thank you for sharing all of this over the past couple of days.

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  45. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i hope it’s ok for you. this much thinking, this much
    word making…then combining my thinking with other
    people’s thinking and then making more words….
    kind of gets me into some kind of altered state where
    i suddenly just don’t know anything at all.
    i am going to have to begin from the beginning and re
    read to know where i’ve been, to know where to go.
    but today is
    Gideon’s day. Wind is sleeping.

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  46. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Jenny was transverse. they kept wanting to turn her with forceps but i was stubborn (like a transverse baby?) and insisted on waiting. she never was compromised and it just went on and on and on and then…
    suddenly, she
    turned and slid right out. come to think of it, kinda like a goat. they will not and not and not do what you want them to and the all of a sudden, they do.
    hmmmmmm.
    my son took 2 hrs. i knew he was my last and wanted it to go on longer. i loved childbirth. but no. Out.
    re order…let’s see what they look like first….

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  47. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i like this a lot.

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  48. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Lay low. yup. we did. and today is
    the total opposite. not even a breeze. still. BLUE,
    stillblue. bluestill.

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  49. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    aren’t those feeling just amazing…you are staring at
    words typed on a screen and suddenly totally FILLED with
    recognition, connection?????????????????

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  50. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes.

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  51. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    seeing the sacred in every moment with your wild wind intensifying the connection that feeds soul into your windthread…

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  52. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    heard as intended.
    yes.
    and this is SO difficult to know in this online way.
    SO difficult.
    i sometimes have wondered if my thought is just lying there somewhere, all mis understood, all weak and sad..

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  53. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    slight differences sometimes Make the difference.
    why it is so important, if you have said something close to the heart, why it is so important to repeat yourself, or ask questions, to be sure as you can be. yes.

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  54. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s SOMETHING, isn’t it. i’ll go out soon and take a
    pic of that message post.

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  55. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    you can just try many things. many ways. till something
    feels “right”. i don’t think Altars mind at all.

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  56. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Wendy…YES. a very beautiful thought. and yes. i think
    i could say i have Safe Keeping altars. the one here on
    the shelf where i wrote Saskia’s greeting in dust…it keeps things. safely. and then there is the one that is on the shelf of Treasures. it keeps things. and really,
    the Raft is one. there, is the blue mirror and the mason jar with the drawings from Wendy Golden Levitt’s children.
    Marti’s rock. Kept Safely….
    so…yes. This is Right. yes.
    LOTS of love to you back….and Thank You…

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  57. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    it is hard to know. but i think Marti said to you recently, or maybe i’m imagining she did–that your only
    task at hand is to put it out there as you do. you
    are not responsible for how we–myself included–internalize YOUR thoughts. they are yours. and they are
    wonderful. not “lying somewhere misunderstood, weak and sad” but soaring and uplifting and impacting SO many in such a strong positive way. well. that’s just the truth
    so don’t bother saying “oh, i don’t know.” it is.

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  58. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    and please tell me about Gideon’s day. love xoxoxo

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  59. handstories Avatar
    handstories

    yes, “focus”, a place to remind you what is important, wanted, wished for.
    my first conscious alter, after a terrible miscarriage, wanting a baby, a gathering began on a table top, of blue, blue birds, blue flowers, blue stones….Blue came the next year. your words of alters being everywhere, I see how true that is- a gathering of branches from the fallen tree, a cloth by jude, “core”, all of the knitting needles in a vase….yes, “focus”. thank you sister grace.

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