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We Are All Different.  But, this is me, speaking of and for my Self.

Because i have a mind that can be totally content with its imaginations,  to actually bring its Self to the Here and Now takes some doing.   and why, maybe,  Writing was easiest.  You dream it up, write it down, and Bingo.  

But i no longer find self in that kind of world.  my Present is very physical.   So, it's important to reality test off and on…

Do i really WANT to be "here"?  Why?   to ask this question and to answer this question.  Fully.

Then i find i need to very literally identify to self what it is that i WANT in my days, and Why.  Otherwise,  i drift.

and IMPORTANT:  THE WORDS TIME AND LIFE ARE INTERCHANGABLE.  they are the same thing.  to me.

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29 responses to “89”

  1. Saskia Van Herwaarden Avatar
    Saskia Van Herwaarden

    maybe there is no self
    maybe just atoms in everchanging constellations
    over time all life begins/ends as dust, atoms

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  2. jude Avatar
    jude

    maybe self is all there is

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  3. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    do you mean ‘here’ in cyberspace? or ‘here’ on this physical plane? what you create here may lack a texture or a selvedge or the tang of cheese, but it surely is something. I wonder – how could it be more tangible? IS there a way for it to be?

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  4. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    it certainly is tangible for me..i do not come here simply to follow more closely the path to the wonderful things that you create with your cloth…i come for the stories ..i come for the peek into your daily world of goats and people and a landscape foreign to me..i come here to enjoy the word play and the gentleness that has grown between people over time and space …cyber and otherwise
    time and life ..that is very real and haunting for me right now…and self…as always i admire jude’s mixture of complexity and brevity..
    to simply take one thing..i can’t even quite imagine the kind of self that needs to be present to prepare for the new goats right now..once upon a time i seemd to just be able to grow without conscious thought into the spaces that i needed /wantedto fill..
    now i find myself ..not more limited..not even more exact..maybe more selective as things change..time and life…hmm grace i hope it is selection and not fear or freezing in place that guides me.. …a lot to consider..to slip into my dreams i think ..
    as dee said ..it surely is something…..i was thinking of all the words or concepts that would some how describe or give reality to what i feel here..peacefulness was very much in the front of my mind.. and feeling, well alive, intrigued.but what i think it is..is connectionr really is is connection
    xox much

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    maybe. and yes, it is so. everchanging constellations.
    yes.
    life begins. yes. but though i really have NO idea,
    i think it’s more than dust, atoms. except the physical
    body…
    but what is the uhhhh, the thing of what we are, i really
    have to agree with the buddhists. that’s ongoing.
    how/what, Who Knows???? and i really don’t concern self
    with that.
    i am busy enough pulling this life off from day to day
    and that’s just ok.

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    well..that’s vague.

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i like very much your questions.
    made me realize that tho it’s so totally clear in my head,
    what i’m saying, it might be totally Unclear to any other
    head.
    Here, in what i was/am looking at
    is here. here on this acre of land in Polvadera New Mex.
    here. with that many Goats.
    here with this table FULL to overflowing with STUFF.
    here, in this life that i am living.

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s really Something.
    and again. This Interior Self. how that self plays
    out in our own experiences.
    Really, tonight,
    Wind swirling, talking Out There, Goats, Plant People
    hunkering down for this
    night
    it’s all so
    serious. Serious.
    what do i mean by writing that word?
    Serious.
    all so Important. how we can’t really KNOW much at all
    but have clues along the way. Go this way. Do that.
    but just clues.
    we have to wait to see if we chose good stuff.
    i love you, Cynthia Who i am Just Coming to Know

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  9. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Reality is, whether we check it or not. Time/life are, as you say, the same thing in a manner of speaking. Both are finite. Why you bother to communicate here? Perhaps because you care, perhaps, for your self, of course, and to keep your year vow. Well, whatever the reason, many appreciate the posts, and know you take time from the physical rigor of your efforts to maintain the health and stability of your real world in order to post some photos and words to share. Thank you

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    no, no. not communicating here. that, in it’s own way
    is a LifeLine. Every single person who i have shared
    any single thing with this way has
    FED me. has fed my Will for It All.
    no…this is just as it is. it is good and very very Fine.
    it’s my REAL world that i need to question. and i DO.
    and the answers say
    Just Go.
    love….

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  11. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    Yes. 🙂 I know this, or at least my version of it…

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  12. Eva Ucgatwork Avatar
    Eva Ucgatwork

    Good morning Grace,
    Very early in the morning…
    Before I read all the wonderful words about life, reality and so on..I studied the photo:
    All those scraps of fabric, the embroidery thread, another beautiful Cloth you are working on, a Magazine…and a can of terpentine.
    All These things are both real and belong to you as well, the fabric, thread for your ART, the Magazine/book because you READ a lot and the terpentine because you might just have been working to PAINT /COLLAGE the furniture/wall and a bit of CHAOS (from which stars are Born…)
    So I thought of the photo as a perfect still-life titled: GRACE

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  13. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    yesterday a friend was reading to me–excerpts from “The Enlightened Heart.” the one that struck me most profoundly for some reason had to do with consciously living in the moment. now. and that to abide with this awareness of “now” was to understand eternity.
    for some reason, i thought of that when i read your statement that “life and time are interchangeable.”

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  14. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    We come here perhaps because as you question your REAL world, you hold up a mirror and in that mirror, we see our own world, the reflection of who we are connecting to who you are, mirroring but not copying, if that makes any sense. Yes, you offer us sanctuary, and by that I mean a place for us to lay our thoughts, concerns, dreams down but we also give that to you because that is how we nourish each other. All I know is that the balance of life/time/ is on going and at the end of the day, as I wrote recently on another blog, I hope I have come full circle by greeting the day with a daily blessing upon rising and ending the day the same way, in blessing and gratitude for whatever the day presented and for my ability to be present to it, whether or not it was a day of good intentions or a day gone amuck…

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  15. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    I thought that’s what you meant, but wasn’t sure. Your answer fits with what you express about having an urgent need to create with things that are touchable, tactile…
    nevertheless, I so so encourage you to view this intangible thread you weave here online as one of your very BEST creations!
    also, I have long thought that cloth-making is so (well, you know what it is) time-consuming with many steps, small steps, meditative steps, interludes of looking, etc., that I find many of us also draw or write or make collages… maybe that balance is key with this medium.
    and lastly – I love that mess there, on the table. Looks kindred. Inviting.

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    well, this morning i see that i didn’t finish the
    comment*….and amazingly, i dreamed about Vague
    and about how self and Self are also same
    and it was so in the dreams…there were only scenes
    of many things and i was seemingly all of it, all of
    what i saw but i was also not the see er. but the
    dream. and so, yes. and that’s what Krishnamurti said.
    the dreamer and the dreamed
    *electricity suddenly went out….

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  17. beth Avatar
    beth

    Yes, I understand the drift. How we spend our time (days, hours) IS how we spend our lives.

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    “gone amuck”…love that expression.
    sometimes in my Just Going i go amuck

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    and just this is support…that you have your
    version

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    a still life that this time of year is not still
    much at all. but in writing that, i realize that
    it IS
    this time of year
    it will all slow some soon…
    thank you for that thought!

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    well…it’s the Work, isn’t it. oh to Abide.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    oh the drift. it’s got me by the ankle this morning

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  23. Saskia Van Herwaarden Avatar
    Saskia Van Herwaarden

    very much ok

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  24. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    isn’t it funny how whenever we try to talk about this exact moment in time… this exact place and what is happening here and now all these other thoughts slip in of “what if?” or “I remember way back when” or “hey what’s that over there?”… all the interesting little distractions & sidelines that catch the corner of the eye…
    oh and I like this from Tom Phillips “A Humament” “sidelines shift towards towards the centre”

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. shifting…i just had that experience.

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  26. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Dee…yes…i know you keep encouraging all this
    here, and here now means here the blog and sometimes
    (not often enough) my travels around to other “houses”…
    as a good thing. i was just making an EXTRA cup of
    coffee, spilling the grounds, and thought…
    “if i were my friend, i would listen to me or read this blog
    and Roll my Eyes and say…JEEZ, grace…i am SOOOO
    tired of you!!!!!”
    Which reminded me of when the kids were teenagers and
    i would call a Family Meeting…which would be me and
    both of them, and maybe my friend Nancy and any friend(s) of the kids that happened to find themselves there, and i would rag and rag
    away about something and then begin to go on to it’s
    ethical or psycho/spiritual underpinnings
    at which point my daughter would roll her eyes and say
    “Here she is, the Other Mother, Mrs. Important Information”. oh well.
    the mess on the table…it’s pretty much always like that.
    which is why i eat in my lap most of the time.

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  27. Susan C Avatar
    Susan C

    I love this image of your little nest of things. I have nests like this in too many places because of my own drift. I have to write down what I mean to accomplish or I lose myself in the day. For tomorrow – after a few other necessary things I have written: draw sew paint plant. I have missed them so much they have become as necessary as anything else.

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Susan…that surprises me. i imagine you as so ordered.
    how i smiled to hear that you have mess nests. a good
    sign i think.
    and DID you draw/sew/paint/plant
    after the few other necessary things?
    you are so emblematic to me of Artists as Young Women
    as Artists as Mothers
    i Know. i Remember. and there’s no way around it for you. but what i want you to know, is that it goes ON…far past the moment when one can finally say
    this time is mine. so i harp away.
    i love you

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  29. Toni Avatar
    Toni

    I love that you think time and life are the same. I believe in a variation of that. (I wonder if people’s different philosophies are just lenses to help them better discern their position in the universe?)
    I started living so much closer to wholly when I came to believe in a personal idea that there is NO time. That time is a construct, much like state or country borders, and it is irrelevant to the universe. “Now,” for me, does not exclude the past or the future, but includes them. Now is everything at once.
    “Life” is the same. I think energy transmutes. My life is just a certain mix of universal ingredients. When I die, the stuff I am made of will get mixed up with all the other unattached stuff of the universe and from a random blob of this mixture a new form will come into play.
    This idea (which could be entirely bunk, but is just a belief I have currently) has given me great release. I don’t suffer the idea of the end of life by nuclear war or planet depletion any more. Planetary catastrophes are potentials (probabilities I suppose), but I think humanity has a limited span regardless of anything we do or don’t do. Planets, too. It is just the way life works. Origin, generation, depletion, extinction, origin, etc. An ever changing symphony of beings. All of the energy of the universe at once Being.
    This idea of universal energy is a personal comfort to me in aging. It is okay, and good, and relevant that I grow old. So this form can release to give the necessary ingredients for new life. “I” will die, but really all that I am now was always here and will always be here, just in different conglomerations.
    This idea of all-being-one (times and lives) also gives my life meaning because I want the bits of me that go on to be positive and healthy so they can make a positive and healthy other being (person or salmon or spider or tree or rock).

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