a day with no sense of definition. Really. and it's odd. in the least, days have a sense to them that links them with their calendar names…monday…beginning wednesday, middle of week, then friday, the weekend days. but today, for the first time in my life, i really have to THINK. What day is it? ……….
i honestly, in this exact moment of typing these words here, i actually, DON'T KNOW. the computer screen tells me it's 8/22. ok….over at the calendar on the wall, i see that 8/22 is…..a Thursday. ok.
but without that map of the calendar, without the little thingy at the bottom of this screen that says time and date, i really wouldn't have Any Idea. none. first time for this. What does it mean? Is it a Worry? i don't know. it's starting to get DARK.
Today i put the does Grace and Barbara, who is really, a Little Bit of Whimsey, on Craigslist. i also put the little ones. got one response already, asking for more info. I got a phone call from Bear Island in Maine, from Alz B's son. just checking. and giving the Betty report, i then heard about Osprey's and Eagles on that Island. i hadn't realized, but it's a very small island. Bill's wife Nelia's family is the only home owners there. otherwise there is a Lighthouse. Bear Island Maine. Nelia's grandfather bought this island. bought it. no one else is there. Bill and Nelia and Nelia's family go there . 2 weeks every summer since Nelia was an infant. ????????????????????????????????????
so…
and Arctica, the only horned doe goat got stuck again, just moments ago. i go out there, fence cutters in hand, but now, i am used to it, so i take advantage of it. Ordinarily she doesn't let me touch her. but Stuck, she gets really still. Tonight, i petted her. spent time. her stuck and knowing it, me knowing it and taking advantage of it. so, we spent time. just quiet. me touching her. Her, standing still and allowing it. having learned a little, i had a collar ready on the ledge by the door. and while all the above was going on, i put the collar on her. she doesn't care. BUT it means i have
MORE ACCESS to her. i can grab hold of that collar. for instance, when she is preoccupied with eating, and i can hold her. HOLD her.
Do I Want To Do That??? i'm not sure. but, now i can. when she's not stuck in the fence, she RUNS from touch like it's acid. When in the fence, she's Soft. she's just OK with it. WHAT IS THAT????? I have been giving her sesame seed crispy things….out of the blue. she likes them. they are salty. she'll come to me to get one. but….that's bribery. somehow i want something different. i want no intermedary. will it ever work? don't know.
and i talked to Nurse Cindy from the Old Folks Home who no longer works there. She called and we talked about her old job, her new job about using vinegar to clean the algae from the goat tubs.
and the day feels like it is adrift. like a day with no connection. a day floating, alone, just its Self.
and i stitched thread beads of Karma. falling from the Flower. i don't know what i think. i'll look at it awhile. i don't know
windthread 
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