as it goes. Monica did NOT call today. she will, most likely, but didn't today. BUT, Jacob did. he was the one who wanted a wether to round out his pack goat family. he has 2 pack goats. but three seems to be the good number. he doesn't need this one to Pack, just to round out the herd. i had tried to get in touch with him all last week or so. nope. his Cell not accepting messages. ok. gave up. but today, he calls and there are long pauses. i say that Monica has claimed them. he is silent. to make a long conversation shorter, he arrives with his young boys and they look. HOW he looks, i can tell….he really likes Goats. he notices things. small things, details about them. he like both the wethers but i tell him i think the bigger one will fit better in his Pack Herd. he kinda likes the little Red one. yes, well, but…he's small. will always be small. so ok. and they go. Him carrying the bleating boy, Maaaaaaa!!!!!!! and Caroline who is so DONE with mothering calls back. Loud. So…this evening, here we are now. one less:
to the far right is Nogal. a good view of his intact testicles. Enough Jiz in there to populate North America with Nigerian Dwarf Goats. one buck can do the job. HE will be the new 4th buck here.
and to be honest, this is really painful. letting them go. to whom. Why. and this is what's nice about having Snotty Goat Herds that are all registered and with milking stars for the does and with ribbons at various competitions. in THAT case, all of these kids would have had reserve deposits for them. All of these kids would have sold for 2 to $300 each. they are VERY FINE. they are purebread. they are extremely healthy and well…just the best. BUT/AND they are not registered and their mothers do not have their milking stars. and so…i give them away.
and UNLESS my daughter, Jenny, takes them back before November, i will need to come to terms with it all.
IF i want to milk and learn Cheese, it requires some does, 2 minimum, bred and kidding every year. if it all goes very well in the next months, there would be the urge to breed more than 2. More doe Goats giving milk, more cheese. BUT/AND more doe Goats kidding, more kids to send out in to the world. Reality IS…..i am NOT into the competition of showing Goats. i am not into the dragging Goats here and there for Milking Stars. so…what that means is that i find homes for them. Where they will be cared for. Safe. Treated kindly and have good lives. Like the one who went today. being a part of a Pack Goat herd…going up into the mountains to hunt. no tether. Free. Just Going with his "Family".
How often does that come up tho?
So…i am looking at it all. i am UNCOMFORTABLE with it. i want some kind of Fairy Tale for them. all loved, all living to old age. Not Eaten. WHAT IF that can't be the reality? WHAT IF like in so many other parts of this Planet that is such a LUXURY. ????????????????? HOW do i deal with it? Can I?
Can i not need everything to have a fairy tale ending? Can i learn to let things go how they ARE?
Can i at the very least, understand that at this time of year, August, there will be the PAIN of how it is?????? and just GO anyway????????
Nogal. Who alone, could populate North America.
Celia. Who has interesting coloring. much of her Black is turning deep oxblood red. Her face is so striated. NONE of these qualities will necessarily appear in subsequent kiddings. but…color. design. i am helpless in the face of it.
and the cloth on the Flag of the Raft has gotten tangled with the overgrowth of the Mallow.
windthread 
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