so…these last days, including last night AGAIN and on into half a day to day of RAIN, are challenging. and as i listened to the rain pouring down on us from the "sky", i had thoughts. and Beth said something about Endurance. was that her word? close anyway. and again, i had thoughts. and
it made me wonder, as in "lets Re View"…..am i a glass half full person? or a glass half empty. really.
in the last years, when things get hard for whatever reason, i always find self going to other places in this world that help me see that my own perceived hardship is what it is, but many others are bent under many many kinds of hardship. an easy one right now is the women refugees from Syria. their children in hand, walking, with one bag of belongings to Somewhere, most likely where they are not really welcome. so. How do my puddles compare?, this family of Goats i belong to. ?. Not so much, right? right. and i remember being brought up by my mother who had little to offer on the glass half full side. but she told the parable over and over about the man with no feet. you all probably know that. but i was whining once in junior high school about needing a certain kind of shoe for a school dance and she repeated it again. about feeling bad, having not the proper shoes until seeing the man with no feet. or something like that, which she applied to various kinds of whining and i would feel angry at her because i felt like she was suggesting that my own feeling, whatever they were, were unimportant. that she was wanting me to DENY my own experience. but it stuck. that Image.
my daughter, Jenny, had most of this herd of Goats for going on 3 years. She put her Heart and Soul into them. Into learning and then following through to improve this herd, to make it the best Dairy herd she could as she went along. there were hard things. the dogs that attacked and stole the new born kid. the next night returning and SnowBunny, who you see here today, defending the herd and being so wounded and torn. Jenny caring for her for weeks in what the Vet said was a lost cause. but again, SnowBunny is here. scratching her ears, neck and chest, you can feel the scars. but she's here. and she is SnowBunny. the Matriarch. She and her daughter Ona and granddaughter Onday run this herd. and so.
then, Circumstance. and now they are all HERE, until Jenny can take them again. if that is how it goes. and who knows. but it won't be for a while. a year? 2? and we are all here, Now. these are the days we have. days we are Alive.
that's SnowBunny, standing.
and while taking these, i notice that in the Oasis, the Side Oat Grama, a prized Native Grass, has flourished.
and too, a native Aster seeded and multiplied.
and i'd forgotten. out by the back gate is a small pile of gravel from when they used it to put in the posts for the fence. i can haul that for Time Being to shore up the Shelters some. Enough.
and i made a plan. no need to worry about all the puddles. all that's needed is a Path. Goats love Paths. they go this way already, it's the high ground. so. bring the wheelbarrow around and haul that gravel to fortify. and i look and have been seeing an extension on the little back porch. do that. they love to pile up on there when it's not raining. it's where they sleep. and, really, it's not ever raining much here. in the Cold Months, there's not a lot of Snow. or any. so…extend the porch. i can do that myself. and make that Path. i can do that myself too. OK. some things tho are hard with just one.
so i'll put this up at the Grocery Store. i wrote…a woman/girl. i am thinking about that. maybe i shouldn't say that. ???? who knows. maybe there is some very good young man? haven't decided yet. but you need to ask for what you need., for sure.
and about endurance. about Just Going. i wrote a little while ago about waking to the question of what would be more uhhhh, worthwhile to be doing? or, what i would Rather be doing? and again, today, the answer is This is Good. if i wasn't doing This, maybe, yes., i would have more time for Cloth Making. but then, the Cloth Making, those stories, are about Life. and you need a life to talk about life, yes??? and there is always the sense that the Cloth Making is FOR me. this thing with the Goats is about All of It.
and up there in the Circle of Day is the beginning of Crow. as far as i got. today.
windthread 
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