i may have done very Normal things today.  things many who look here do,  in the regular course of their days.   i visited.  shared a meal.  shared life, laughter, things.  i shared a day within the context of a Community that gathered and walked and milled around and were very Human.  for many, this would not be anything significant to note.  would be…well, just normal.  

but for me, it stands out in Neon.  my days are very solitary.  they take place withing 10 miles tops of one another.  small days.  same days.  days that say 3 oclock at the latest is when Beings should eat.

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after a few moments, the initial commotion settles.  there are 3 feed tubs.  it evens out.

 

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someone, and it differs day to day, is always inclined to avoid the meley and eat what has fallen out when i first dump it over the fence.  Why?   I don't know.

what if i didn't come back?  what if i stayed Gone?, way past 3 oclock when all their stomachs had processed the food from the morning?   would they….be uncomfortable?  or die?, even?  No.  it just wouldn't be what they are used to.  they are used to Calling me.  they Call me and i come.  bring food.  What if they were somewhere where they could BROUSE all day?  little stuff.  weeds, sticks…just little stuff.  What would happen then?  Would they be so dependent on 3 oclock?

but.  because i know about their 3 oclockness,  i left a more "normal" kind of experience and drove home.  part for them, but also part for anyone who lives anywhere nearby.  once they begin Calling, they are Loud.  Call.  Call.  Call.  i think of my neighbors.  but, really, think of my neighbors in a self oriented way too, that they don't have ill feeling about these Goats here.  Do I need to think this????  I don't know.  but i came home.  i came away from a Beautifully Normal day to be here by 3 oclock.

thinking about this.

 

 

 

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21 responses to “213 Normal”

  1. Valerianna Avatar

    I read your post title and chuckled about the idea of “normal”, knowing full well from another who has very much less than a normal life about that normal thing. Like when I decide to go to the village by the river and walk around and go into the lovely shops. Not that I am shopping – and that’s the abnormal part – I don’t, usually walk away with much, maybe a package of incense. And, just in case you think you are alone, I race home in order to get Pasha inside for his pre-dusk curfew and safe away from predators. This is non-negotiable, so my days can become short awfully fast if I am enjoying something, someone, gotta go! I do leave him inside if I KNOW I will want to stay out after dark. Is there someone who could come over and take care of the goats at 3 if you want to be gone longer?

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar

    i love that you say these things.
    non negotiable. short days.
    yes. this is what i am trying to figure out. SomeOne
    who could cover for me. i need this. like, a lot.
    most of the time it doesn’t matter, is not an issue with how i live anyway. but sometimes…sometimes, like today, i’d
    like to stay till it’s time to go. longer than 3 oclock.
    and if i could figure this out, then, Everything would
    be easier.
    But then, too, am thinking about
    easier.
    maybe the Ripening of Self means giving up of Easier?????

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  3. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    oh grace, this “ripening of self” thing is not for sissies. . . and I’ve been doing that now for the past few years as well. . .relying solely on self for keeping things going here. but just for practical purposes we need to have a backup plan. . .someone to call on. . .and spontaneous enjoyment of something as rare as a day with friends is no less important. not unreasonable to appreciate things becoming easier. . .allowing ourselves to create community of support. I admire your strength in the life you create. . .what you create with. . .and also wish for you reliable neighbors/friends.

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  4. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    How well I know the pull of dependent critters…forty plus years of it, like a chain pulling at me. It was hardest when I worked full time for eleven years, or when I needed to visit friends far away. Well, I do and don’t miss that chain. Few things anchor me to the world these days. Now that the garden is gone from my cares, seasons are just about taking care of myself. Your goats are woven into your survival, and that makes them important even beyond your love of them. I hope you find a helper to give you the occasional freedom to be where others nourish you in communal comfort.

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  5. patricia Avatar

    your visit…and awareness of tether to 3:00. that was a good trial run. because now you have another piece of information around what you need–and what the goats need– so now to find someone nearby who will help you. getting ducks in a row for whatever is next. like the wonderous new old soul awaiting your visit.

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  6. patricia Avatar

    oh, and this again. i think of this when i think of small and wonder if there is a difference: “to see the world in a grain of sand….”

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  7. jude Avatar

    I think I have now, without parents, without son needing so much, without cats even, now thought how the possibility of travel is more acceptable. I was always tethered to something. So thoughts of a another kind of space. And the purposeful undoing of schedule. and obligations past eating and sleeping. just to see.

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  8. handstories Avatar

    in this new way of being, “normal” is becoming “extraordinary” to me. & still wishing for a video of you and your goats- to hear them and see their movements.

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  9. Valerianna Avatar

    Or the ripening of self means being gentler with oneself and inviting Easier? Like a crane held above the pen, timed to let the load of feed go at 3pm. Something like that if no person is able. (maybe not quite a crane, but something automated!)

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  10. grace Avatar
    grace

    this is SOOOOOO FUUUUUNY!!!! i got an instant Picture in
    my mind….how great! thing is there is THREE Pens.
    Buck Pen, Milking Doe Pen and the Big one. so i’d have to
    have 3 cranes!!!!
    but this made me laugh! i love that you thought of this!!!
    and it Lightened it all.
    REALLY, it’s just how it is when you have animals like goats.
    People have been living this life forever. they don’t expect anything at all different.
    I have just walked into the PICTURE…not having seen it my whole life, seeing it NEW and for the first time.

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  11. Deb G Avatar

    I know this, the need to go home. The need to stay home to take care of everyone. How it shapes life. What they give on a daily basis makes it worthwhile, but sometimes…

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  12. grace Avatar
    grace

    thing is,
    you can’t have it all.
    you choose.
    it’s interesting, needing to deal with this reality. i
    could choose not to. and then, once in a while, when i
    want to be Away, i could.
    but most often, with them or without them, i am Here. because it’s where i like being.
    so…it’s ok. that you say…eeee, i need to go. i need to be home. they are waiting.
    and again…it’s how it’s ALWAYS been. someone is There.
    Home. to do the Expected.
    right?

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  13. grace Avatar
    grace

    well…this is getting to be number one on the list…
    the back up person. there’s GOT to be someone around
    who would like to be around Goats. i know that if it
    were someone else, i for sure would be that someone. so
    we’ll see.

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  14. grace Avatar
    grace

    it still remains a time limited thing. that they will
    go back with daughter. so…i can do Anything for
    a While…..

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  15. grace Avatar
    grace

    ducks in a row. always did like that image….
    and yes. meeting this one. looking forward to that.
    it’s possible it seems that they might come here too.
    who knows……

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  16. grace Avatar
    grace

    small.
    such a nice feel to the word

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  17. grace Avatar
    grace

    after my years of BIG TRAVEL, i am really very ok with
    not much travel or any. except for these very occasional
    times. but they are Important. am hoping tho that this
    is the last one. i’d be ok with that.

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  18. grace Avatar
    grace

    video…i know. it would be so funny…you would be
    surprised by a lot of it.

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  19. Deb G Avatar

    Thinking in light of your recent post too, and other things that have been on my mind. Yes, we choose. And yes, it’s ok to choose to be home, to go home, to be the one that is the caregiver. I needed to say that today. 🙂

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  20. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes. there is something so DEEP to be learned by a Life of Home.
    What if it gives the most? What if other things are beautiful
    and good, but Home deepens, thickens, weaves itself thicker,
    denser, stronger, and develops a scenttexturesound that holds you
    i look at Celia this morning..Friday morning and see her More
    this morning. see her little fierceness, how she SCREAMED
    with everything she had even tho her mother could do nothing for
    her. it just blows my mind …. to use an expression that i have
    never used before. but it fits that moment.
    love to you Deb

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  21. grace Avatar
    grace

    when i re read this i realized it’s just THURSDAY morning!!
    oh YAY!!!!!! just Thursday!!!!!!!

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