in the midst of Today i realized that the Unforseen is not even considered that anymore at all. The Unforseen has simply become what is. that in itself is quite Something.
Paul was supposed to come wednesday to look at the cattle panel in the Albatros.
this, supposedly, is the LAST of the list of stuff that Alz B's son Bill keeps in his head. that list called Stuff grace Needs. i can only assume that the list rises up because of his feelings of wanting things to be ok for me because he needs me to be ok for his mother, Alz B. i have addressed this very bluntly with him many times. i used to feel that it tilted the balance too much. but then at some point, after saying that to him i don't know how many times, i just gave up. maybe we could call it Surrendering. so…as i said, Paul had this one more thing. and today it is DONE. Bill hires him and pays for all the materials. all i do is help.
what used to be 10 or 12 feet of cattle panel, on both sides of that center post is now 8 ft of panel fencing, each side and then two gates big enough to let the wheelbarrow through. this might not look like much. but when you are bringing Goats in and out, back and forth, it's HUGE. Gates. it's so Huge that i can't even think of expending the energy to tell why. but it's DONE. and do you see the piece of plywood in the center? that closes off the space where the baby goats would try try try to squeeze through, sometimes with success. well…no more. but as i looked at it this evening, taking this pic, i saw it as something else too.
i saw it as something related to this. i was not expecting this. but here it is. remembering yesterday, sitting and looking long at the sticks that go from Earth to Sky, i looked at this new arrangement in the Albatros for Goat Gates and realized that i need to make some marks there too. i need to Mark it . like i Mark the Cloths i make. i need to put Beauty there. i need to put "Spirit" there. That is what has been missing and making things feel out of sync. i am not a practical person, really. i DO do practical things. but i need to do them in the way i am at ease with, the way i did them when i was Seven years old and then on and off when i have honored and Remembered. i don't have to have a reason. i don't have to be able to give it words. but i DO need to do it.
night of a Full Moon before Solstice. a window, a plant, Green Tara, tin butterflies and tin star, bells and peacock feathers. a wall.
windthread 
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