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286

i woke at 2: 30 am or something needing to pee.  OK, thinking..i'll get the Fire going and it will warm up and i'll be ready for this day.  This day i had PLANS for.  so, i did start the fire.  i did read comments here, i did go over to the Mother Ship.  i DID spend a LOT of time watching that cloth of Marti's on the wall.   Things came and went through my mind, like Ira Progroff said in this teaching of Intensive Journal Process…."like flocks of birds.  we let them come, we let them go".  i did this.  and kept feeding the fire.  by somewhere around 6:30,  it was STILL COLD.  i could feel my Resolve dwindle.  SO

i went back,  into the bed,  under the covers,  wearing all the layers of clothes and my hat and just layed there, listening for the Goats until i fell  asleep.

8:45 a.m.  eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee   and i think i only woke up because the dream had come to some point of needing Resolution   and i guess my mind thought the best Resolution would be for me to get going with the Day.  Which didn't amount to much as my Dad would say.   Just Goat care, trying to thaw hoses, Looking at Stuff.  but late in the afternoon

IMG_7597f

i had a SUDDEN BURST of PURPOSE  and hauled out that plastic stuff that i really DO NOT LIKE

and push pinned it over the West Window of the ROOM  and then vacuumed all the Earth that Wind had brought me that was all over everything and moved the Magic Diaries Cloth from the Looking Wall over,  atop the horrible plastic

 

 

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26 responses to “286”

  1. jude Avatar
    jude

    sometimes when something is useful it can be ok.

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  2. grace Avatar
    grace

    i don’t know. really, i don’t know.
    i am thinking deeply about how wild beings live. what do they do?
    and
    i’m not wild. so, there is this difference here…me, the product
    of years of “civilization”
    them, with only themselves to rely on

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  3. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    many wild things change their metabolic rate…like bears…they slow down, don’t pee or poop or eat…and their heart rate just sustains them. This talent could be so useful. I guess the monks can do that too, slow down the heart rate and change the temperature of their bodies.
    The shadow effect when you hung the plastic is really nice.

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  4. grace Avatar
    grace

    could I?, change my metabolic rate? what do the birds
    do?
    yes. monks can do that. it hasn’t happened yet.
    Not for any lack of trying.
    the shadow effect. Nice? or just Necessity? but then,
    really, a shadow effect is a shadow effect. either way

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  5. deb Avatar
    deb

    then again there is our lack of fur and thin skin. I was looking at the shadows on the plastic and thinking how i would try painting the shadows in place somehow.

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  6. Tracy Leppold Avatar
    Tracy Leppold

    Does the plastic keep out a draft? If it does it’s a good thing and you’ll burn less wood. Wild things are cold all the time and they wouldn’t be if they could be warm. Nice shadows! I think it’s all good.

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  7. Valerianna Avatar
    Valerianna

    I read a bit in a book once, fiction, but about a Native American elder talking about HIS elders… the “old ones.” He said that waaaay back, when the snows were really, really deep on the prairie, the “old ones” would pack their shelters with water and go into dreaming for a month. They slept and dreamt, can’t remember if they had fire, I think so, but they were insulated by a bunch of snow. All they did was dream, eat a little to sustain themselves, collect wood by the entrance, dreampt under the snow, like the bears. I read that and got the shivers. I’m sure they slowed their metabolic rates. We could remember this, but our world has gone waaaay beyond that kind of dreaming.

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  8. suzanna Avatar
    suzanna

    My dove Molly seems to just accept the weather…deeply…she has a broody box and another little shelter I made her for the cold and rain, but she pretty much just sits on her regular perches out in the open…sometimes she flies around and then sings a bit. We’ve been having a cold snap…it has maybe gone below freezing a bit, but it doesn’t seem to faze her much. I think it helps to have feathers.

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  9. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    Oh what a GREAT idea//////Grace-maybe hang a cloth and trace the shadow///then…?!

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  10. nance Avatar
    nance

    Yes… Immediately upon seeing it I thought “get that image captured…! ” And I thought you actually had put a cloth up there.

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  11. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    listening

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  12. beth Avatar
    beth

    Early this morning we lost power for a couple hours when it was 0 degrees F outside. Our furnace is geothermal but the blowers run on electricity. So, yeah, I’d say I’m pretty darn spoiled.
    Love the idea of capturing that shadow as it changes. If you hung cloth over the plastic would the plastic bother you as much?

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  13. jude Avatar
    jude

    when I cover the woodpile in the winter. with plastic. many birds and small animals nest in there. warm and dry. they fight over it.

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  14. dee Avatar
    dee

    I like that ‘looking at stuff’ is in the list of things accomplished in the day… stay warm! being cold feels a lot like feeling anxious (I think)

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    but here we have it….the STORY …. and this is the beauty of storytelling. for a moment, reading you telling this story, i SAW it

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i Know!!!!!!!!!????????????? how can this Be??????
    and their skinny naked ankles and feet

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    the plastic probably acts as insulation there too…holding their body heat in…
    this is a good image to hold…

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    well, it’s a beautiful idea, but i need to stick with
    ClothMaking….

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. the windows are old wood frames that i scavenged. don’t really Fit in the normal sense of fitting, lots of
    mended in quarter rounds nailed here and there but still
    a lot of places that leak air like crazy.
    nice to burn less wood, but would also be nice to not be
    so cold. i’ve put it up before. i always wait till i
    can’t stand the cold for another day tho. i really don’t like covering those windows.
    i like you saying that. “I think it’s all good”. it
    probably is.

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i can see your ear

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i did today. the Magic Diaries Cloth. and i’ve done
    that to all the windows in that ROOM but it feels kind of
    Claustrophobic, really. tho…i will do it again.
    oh…a geothermal furnace. oh, Envy.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. Looking at Stuff. it has become a legitimate
    activity. yes. sometimes it can take an entire day.
    you are right, actually. cold/anxious i think it’s
    because both are states of Contraction? of the biological
    body and psyche? yes. interesting. i’d never thought
    of that. Thank You for this…!

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  23. Tracy Leppold Avatar
    Tracy Leppold

    Bummer about the window. Too bad that handy person of the neighborhood cant fix it. Our window installer friend would take the window out and nail thin strips of wood in the hole till its the same size as the window. Its very clever.
    I say its all good many times a day. I hope some day it will be true.
    Sent from my iPod

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  24. grace Avatar
    grace

    ya, well…window installer. me and my daughter haphazardly made this screened in porch into a Room. with a Sawzall.
    and i mean HapHazardly.
    but…it IS a room. it’s a wonder full room, really, just
    cold during supposedly few months a year….??? (?few)
    in a way…it IS true. just how you say it. it IS.
    we just don’t know how to understand.
    i can sit here tonight…Thursday, now, and really…
    it’s all good. oh, jeez. it’s a lot of work to “get it”.
    i’d like to have some days of just Cruising…..not have to work so hard to understand. but then…as i type that,
    the words come….it’s all good. O Kay. bueno then. o k

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  25. Tracy Leppold Avatar
    Tracy Leppold

    Awesome that you built the room. And sometimes it is all good. More often than we think. If we werent so busy griping wed know.
    Sent from my iPod

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  26. grace Avatar
    grace

    we did. When the Maniac i married died…and i guess now
    and then i should say what i mean by Maniac…it was
    drugs and alcohol and the craziness that comes from a
    brain so taken by drugs and alcohol…..
    anyway…
    when he died, i wanted more space. there was that
    porch. SO. daughter and i borrowed a sawzall and we
    sawzalled out i think 14ft of the trailer wall. it was
    horrible, the sound. this was summer. and i found
    out back of a neighbor’s house who pack rats stuff….
    old like old wood frame windows. daughter and i made them
    fit, sorta. and daughter and granddaughter home from the
    Navy on leave made a door out of the screen door. and
    then daughter and i put drywall everywhere and the ceiling with particle board or whatever it’s really called and
    it is totally HAPHAZARD. totally. but we kept saying…
    it’s only cold/wet such a small part of the year…WHO
    CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we just went forward and
    went forward. and you know, Tracy one of these days
    when i have my final inhale, i will remember that.
    and think….it was all good. i know i will. i know it.

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