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330

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so this.   the only difference now, at the end of the day is that everything is invisible basted in place.  i tried to take a pic just now, with the flash and the color was all off.  so…minus the pins and some very small adjustments,  the base is here.   

this Cloth is about what i am learning about Permaculture….how totally all inclusive it is.  it might not be all that easy to tell that story.  i don't know.   i'd hoped to be able to try a few thing out, but…the Goats had company.  Alz B's youngest daughter, maybe late 40's?,  came to visit her from Seattle.   she's been here,  at our house, a few times before during the Goat Time and wanted to come and see what's happening now.   it was really heartening.   she just likes to sit among them.  watch them.   notice who does what and comment.  ask a lot of questions about each one.    She likes the bucks.  spent a lot of time scratching them and wanted to go in their pen but Bill and i kept reminding her that they were going from here to Alz. B's place and she already was "marked".  She said she thought they smell nice,  like her ferrets.   

 

ADDENDUM

i have washed dishes, cleaned up the small chaos of today and find self still looking at this cloth.

 

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this was with the flash

 

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this was fooling around with Picasa tweaking…i forget which one this is,  but i like it a lot.

Jude is thinking about Ego.  

is this Ego?  that i like to put pics here of what's happening?  i am really asking self that question.

i don't know how it's perceived by others…and well…that's the KEY for me, really,  that i don't know how even    I    am perceived by others,  let alone the Cloths.   but i guess it doesn't really matter.  i am unendingly fascinated with putting scraps of recycle cloth together to make a story.  i am unendingly interested in looking at them here,  on this Typepad blog,  where i can enlarge and enlarge.   i still haven't  "gone back",  i just keep going forward, one day into another.  but soon, the 365 will be over.   just a little over a month…..   and then,  i'll go back and look.

But…how much  of this is    Ego?   I am Jude's student.  I am a handmaiden of scraps.  what occurs, does.  and truly to me,  of it's own accord.  but i DO love looking at it….is that then, Ego?

 

 

 

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55 responses to “330”

  1. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    it depends on your definition of ego. or on who is using the word and what they mean. back to sorting, I guess. love,

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  2. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    being human… a sentient being with a huge heart and great love for the planet, being aware, looking after your corner of the world, the soil, the plants, the water, the air, the wild things that live in and near your home, your family both furred and unfurred and making the art though stitching the cloth and relating all that experience here in the cyber sea… telling the tale, is that ego? is that soul? is that spirit? isn’t that the human condition? to keep asking the big questions all our lives? isn’t life a great quest? a huge challenge? a wonderful space to make a difference… you have created a space here to share your experience & I love how you go way deep with the questions
    namaste crow sister

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  3. kathy dorfer Avatar
    kathy dorfer

    i love to listen to your thoughts. as i have said before , i come here every night to see what you are doing . i feel like i am apart of your
    work . keep sharing …
    xxoo

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  4. eva a(r)t work Avatar
    eva a(r)t work

    Hi Grace,
    Great question – have to think about it…not now, because it’s too early in the morning for philosophical questions.
    I love Mo Crow’s comment though.
    A question worth contemplating might be, whether Ego in itself is Kind of “bad” …mabe we just mess up with being “egoistic”. Ego is part of us, it’s what you do with it that counts.
    And of all the People, YOU Grace are certainly far away from egoistic.
    These are some spontanious pre-breakfast.thoughts….should finish my tea now…

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  5. Nanette Avatar
    Nanette

    My first thought was that to have ‘ego’ is seen now as negative, then having reading eva’s comment that it’s mixed up with being egoistic, I went looking for a definition. So ‘ego’ is mostly defined as ‘self’ as separate from other selves….whereas egoistical is ‘preoccupation with own needs and advancement’…..I guess only you can say for sure which you feel yourself to be. I certainly enjoy that you put pics here and share your thoughts so freely.

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  6. jude Avatar
    jude

    yes.

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  7. jude Avatar
    jude

    like that eye floating outside itself but not separate. the last one is sepia. i used to use sepia india ink. to draw. all the drawings looked like this.

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  8. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    this is where i start my day..i wake knowing that my day will be touched by your pictures and your thoughts..and somehow they help provide an interesting framework for my own thoughts..our worlds and ideas intersect in places..some known, some full of remembrance and some full of surprise, new direction.
    …coming here..and not even totally just for you..but also to be similarly touched by these voices above who have been here as well, who watch and enjoy and comment..has become important to me and i am quite grateful…
    but really none off that matters…really this is yours grace and if all those things apply to you..and even more which are not in my brain at the moment…well that is what is important..that this place gives you a place to explore..and i hope ..makes you happy
    i love what mo crow wrote…and i like the eye..to me cosmos..and then when i read her words it became such an eye..as well.. hovering..as jude said ..outside itself but not separate.
    .have a good sunday cynthia

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  9. debbie.weaver Avatar
    debbie.weaver

    Deep thoughts happening here and at Jude’s. I love what Mo and Cynthia have written. If ego is self separated from other selves then Grace you are just yourself. I like this description it avoids the negative connotations that the word ego has, it seems it is a misunderstood word.
    It is a joy for me to read your thoughts and see your work.

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  10. patricia Avatar
    patricia

    loving all of these comments. all of them. words and concepts like “ego” are such personal constructs, aren’t they? when i think of “ego” is it the same thing others think of? i don’t know. all i know for myself is what ego sounds and feels like. all of its many sides and facets. and it’s become clearer to me that my own ego is usually up to something. and now, to be able to stand back and see it, and marvel at how–for me at least–i took it so seriously for so long. for truthfully my ego is NOT an ally. it has put me in separation. from myself. from others. from spirit even. i’m learning to just look at it and let it pass on. without buying into it quite so much. and i’m finding that this is creating a different space inside.
    this cloth with–as others have said–the hovering big “I”–the eye of perspective? detachment? clarity? truth?–is the perfect visual reminder.

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  11. Judith of N. CA Avatar
    Judith of N. CA

    Cynthia….you have expressed my thoughts exactly…how fortunate are we that Grace shares…

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  12. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Of all of the words here, these are the ones that go deep with me: “I guess it doesn’t really matter…” It doesn’t simply because this is your blog, your cloth, your land, your goats, your life, your place in all of this. The most important of all, your sharing of all of this that comes from such a deep wanting to tell what is real. This is the gift that you give to us. Within the breadth of this is the complexity that is uniquely you, to ask the Questions, to put them here, seeking the answers, perhaps from others but mostly, waiting for them to rise up from deep within you.

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  13. jennann Avatar
    jennann

    “i don’t know how even I am perceived by others, let alone the Cloths.”
    When I first read this, I thought you were questioning how the Cloths perceived YOU (not how others perceived your Cloths)…and I smiled thinking of all the loving energy the Cloths send you and that they must perceive you in the same way a newborn perceives its mother….

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  14. ² Avatar
    ²

    i have read , al of your words… toughts …
    about the word ” ego ”
    here in ” Flanders ” a lot of people will be agree with you al
    and yes …. for me Grace will be honnest with her self
    al her selfs
    let them be as one and will make a difference
    here on this blog happen a lot with
    people on different places on our planet
    that will be great ….
    thank you for this
    for the moment i can help it , it is stronger than myself ( ego ?
    but i look forward to read some blogs
    and they help me during the day
    it cost me a lot of thime to seek some words in
    understanding and writing
    i know there are lots of wrong words i think
    but it does’nt matter
    who will, understand it
    i just will share back wath i received from here
    so again ..thank you
    greets to you

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  15. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    I love the conversation here generated by a tiny but important question. appreciating all the comments. teasing out the difference between ego and being egoistic. any prolonged extreme creating imbalance.
    thinking about what it is to become lost in the creative process. . . .where self disappears for a while. and then perhaps ego is a protective force. . . .bringing us back to our more defined self. . .more complete self. . . .the other aspects of our life.
    what is the balance between knowing who and what we are. . . and craving attention for it? do we need feedback or attention from others? do we merely share in an open way and accept whatever responses come? work with that as well?
    creation on so many levels. when we remember, as you do Grace, that you are part of something much larger, as well as being one’s self. . .then perhaps we become a safe place for others. as you are my friend.

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  16. beth Avatar
    beth

    It feels like there is something much bigger and deeper than what I would think of as pure ego going on here–or what Eva called egotistical. Connection perhaps. You are so honest. You look, you think, you wonder, you stitch, and in doing so you have forged connections all across the world with kindreds who need this connection in some way. When you started on this daily posting I remember you said there will be no bullshit. It’s just so rich and so fine, Grace. Full of life. And as wonderful as your posts are, it becomes ever richer with the comments.

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  17. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about what is meant by ego. And I came to the same thing, is ego a bad thing? We should feel comfortable sharing our lives, our ideas, our thoughts. Building community. I think sharing is a way of mending. And even this is part of my understanding of permaculture. 🙂 I think it is only unhealthy if what we put out for others to see is motivated by a need to be popular, to draw attention (which can be seductive). It is really about motivation for me. Whew, that all just flew out of me.

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  18. jude Avatar
    jude

    yes and so much more to say about this. i love this reference to permaculture

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  19. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    shaping ourselves as well as our landscape?

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  20. debbie.weaver Avatar
    debbie.weaver

    Deb G has just expressed what I meant but couldn’t find the right words for,both here and on Jude’s blog, thank you.

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  21. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    had to look at your question(s) again after having read all interesting comments and getting lost in others’ egos…for me the most insightful observation you make is how the cloth-making occurs as if by and of itself and how you enjoy watching this process and yes there is ego there and I for one am grateful for the ego that does and sees and is – so to speak – a part of who I am;
    …and also the actual process of creating, at it’s very best is when I lose the sense of self or ego and am part of everything, it is similar to giving birth and then there were two;

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  22. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    Does it make any sense to think of ego as our sense of our separate selves ensconced here in our material bodies, living what seems to be an individual life, while all along we sense the presence of other more permeable selves that interact more fluidly with all that is. We need our egos to live here in space and time, but they are not all that we are.

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  23. grace Avatar
    grace

    Dana…this is Good. might be the spring board.
    Developmentally, from infancy on, we work toward a sense
    of self.
    i was thinking today suddenly about
    Show and Tell in grade school.
    What would that be? First grade? Second?
    Show and Tell.
    you bring something to show. to tell about.
    what rose immediately in my mind about Show and Tell
    was taking my cigar box with my acorns in it. So…
    i raised my hand. went to the front and put my cigar box
    down. i don’t remember the details but i said something
    about my acorns. how some had names. the teacher said
    thank you and i went back to my desk and next was a girl with her porceline japanese doll with a oh so tiny silk
    kimono. the teacher had great interest in this and there
    was a lot of questions about how she had gotten this doll
    (an Uncle) and about Japan.

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  24. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    Oh yes…we try to show and tell a little of what we are and it falls like a dirt clod among diamonds. No wonder we need our egos. No wonder we feel separate and alone. Being able to sometimes transcend that separation connects us to our larger selves, but its hard. I find it hard.

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  25. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    I am struck by this: what we cherish are the selves around us whose ego, whose self, is shared un-self-consciously. What a great thing to think about.

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  26. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    I like this thought a lot. To a certain extent, ego can protect us when I think of Grace’s comment below.

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  27. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    Grace you have a way of starting conversations. 🙂 Your story about the acorns is important. Thank you for sharing it. Which reminds me, it’s called “show and share” a lot of times now…

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  28. grace Avatar
    grace

    after thinking all day today (monday) too…this is the
    truth. it can mean so many different things depending
    on each person’s Filter
    to speak of it in generalizations is almost impossible

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  29. grace Avatar
    grace

    a space to share
    a space to share

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  30. grace Avatar
    grace

    kathy…i love so much you said this…that you feel you are a part of things here. i love this. you Are. we ALL
    are….it’s made up really of All of Us
    Much love to you

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  31. grace Avatar
    grace

    i hope i am…far away…there’s no need at all anymore
    for ego energy, just no need at all
    hope your tea was nice

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  32. grace Avatar
    grace

    Ego is a necessary developmental TOOL in a human.
    but at a point, it becomes strong enough to be let go of.
    to look instead of how we are Same. this is what i think.
    i love more and more feeling a Part of All who come here.
    not individuated, but a part of Us…

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  33. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes. it’s sepia but i think i also “stacked” the tweaks.
    Sepia was last.
    this land here, New Mex is really a sepia land

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  34. grace Avatar
    grace

    Yes….we, me and all of Us intersect. i love that
    it is critical to my sense of place in the world, in this
    period of time in my life…
    All of Us.
    All of Us.

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  35. grace Avatar
    grace

    the sharing is a way i can See. get it OUT of my head
    Out in front of me so i can See it
    not just the cloth
    but the life. the days.

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  36. grace Avatar
    grace

    i am me but i am also meandYou. i am also US.

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  37. grace Avatar
    grace

    i think the looking and letting it pass on is what happens.

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  38. grace Avatar
    grace

    the Questions are important. the SAYING OF THEM OUTLOUD
    is important. and there is no one in my personal space
    to say them outloud TO. so i say them outloud HERE, and
    anyone who Wants to, can say something back.
    and in this way i can find more of my place in the
    world of Community

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  39. grace Avatar
    grace

    i kind of see myself as the newborn, the Cloths as the
    mothers

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  40. grace Avatar
    grace

    Maria…again…i am so deeply touched about the seeking
    of words. it is a huge gift to me that you do that. it
    gives me Energy to be what i can be FOR US. i think
    that all the blogs are FOR US. for us ALL. all over
    the different places on our planet.
    your words are never wrong. they are bone and blood words,
    very clearly understood. i am so grateful for them.

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  41. grace Avatar
    grace

    “craving attention”
    ahhhh. craving attention, feedback.
    oh. i am going to go light the fire before i “go here”.
    back in a minute.
    ok. the fire is lit.
    i crave community. i do not have it in my life here. i
    have Goats, dog, cat, plant people, lizards, insects, Sky, Day Night horizon Rim Wind dawn dusk
    i have a LOT. and i have learned to love living as a single human being in the company of all the above. but to have come to FEEL IN COMMUNITY with other human beings????
    Yes. Yes i crave it now. it is Beauty Full. the coming and going of others as they can from their own lives all over the Planet is just so so Amazing to me…and that i really feel like i KNOW everyone who comes here, that if i were to hear a knock on the gate and find any of Us there, i would see…well, i would see a Sister. no more, no less. So…craving? yes. i now crave sharing these days.
    saying…Look. whether it was really nothing at all. it’s ok. it’s what it is. and i feel this to be such an Incredible Gift.

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  42. grace Avatar
    grace

    it DOES, beth. it’s ALL of it. i can put a really plain
    thing here and all who comment make it a Good Thing, even
    tho it’s plain and ordinary. and this makes for me a sense
    of being a part of a large COMMUNITY of women who also have
    similar plain and ordinary days but who LOVE their days as
    i love mine.
    YES. it’s US.

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  43. grace Avatar
    grace

    well…popular.
    really…there have been years of my life that i wanted
    to be popular.
    but then i just wanted to be real.
    if real is ok, then ok. if it’s not the i don’t care.
    and maybe, really, that’s a remnant of Ego…the Who Cares.
    i kind of still have that. hmmmmm.

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  44. grace Avatar
    grace

    you found your Right Words.
    and they are very Right…

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  45. grace Avatar
    grace

    Ego is a critical developmental uhhhh, TOOL for human
    beings. but at a point, it becomes kind of beside the
    point. no longer necessary, no longer even an issue.
    so much else rises up that takes us so much further
    into the realm of Human Beingness…that is about
    connection rather than individuation…similar to birth yes, but then there are MANY

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  46. grace Avatar
    grace

    i think that’s how it went for me. my own child ego
    was built with acorns. i saw that for what it was at the
    time even. and went away from it with an enormous love
    of acorns. and it has continued

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  47. grace Avatar
    grace

    Deb…a question for you
    What is the PURPOSE of Show and Share?????

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  48. grace Avatar
    grace

    Sharing. it’s a really dynamic thing. Sharing. self
    consciously, un self consciously, fearfully,
    who caresly
    Sharing.
    what we LEARN from it, what there is TO learn from it….
    saying
    this is me. i love acorns.
    saying
    this is me. i love this japanese doll that my uncle gave me
    today i remembered her name. Linette Scott. first grade.
    how amazing what the brain stores, tucked away in all
    those gooey folds. that moment. her name. and my commitment to my acorns.
    pretty beautyfull.

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  49. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    For children to be able to be part of a group (both as speaker and audience), for them to be able to tell a story (beginnings, middles, and endings).

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  50. grace Avatar
    grace

    ahhhh. ok. i am going to think about this.
    Thank you.

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  51. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Yes, fortunate, for it gives me (us?) a chance to ponder our own related thoughts.
    Grace to me you are “perceived” with admiration for living your own true life…however odd you may think it appears to be. It may not be the life that I would/could lead…but I am richer in some many ways for being a small part of it here.
    So, thank you for sharing Grace.

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  52. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Or just ‘share day’ sometimes. Which is nice now that I think about it. Just sharing.

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  53. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I agree Deb. It can be a great tool in building classroom community. And a time for their peers to practice respectful listening or thoughtful question asking if it is set up and handled well. I’ve seen it done where the sharing child Always asks 3 questions and they pick their friends first, of course. Then it is not so much a gathering or a sharing, but a lesson in becoming proficient in following a prescribed routine. Which I guess can be a lesson too, but really looses something in this case. Quality teachers know how to implement a ‘share time’ that is productive and caring and not just a competition about the newest toy. I’ve known schools that do not allow ‘toys’ for that reason.
    Long winded, I know. I’ll stop here. It’s my field, so I get going.

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  54. grace Avatar
    grace

    i think looking/seeing lives we live
    is a great great education
    and brings us to look and think about commonality in
    diversity

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  55. grace Avatar
    grace

    no….no longwinded….it’s to the Point
    because it’s what we do with blogging, isn’t it?

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