It never occured to me that it would be difficult.  Coming to the end of 365 days.  That it would be a dilemma of Now What?.?  But it is.  And i really have no answer.

First i want to THANK                                                                                                                                                                     YOU ALL                                                                                                                                                                                                for hanging out with me.  I have appreciated So Much all that You have given me with your thoughts and love.   I have been able to see so much more as You have looked with me.   And over time,  that Deepening sense of                                                                                                                                                                            What We Are.   In Common.  Together.  Us.                                                                                         Nothing could be Finer.  Nothing.  Than to find ourselves woven into eachother's days.

The year has unfolded of its own accord.  This time last year I was still looking for "meaning".  I think looking for some significant Event, Experience, Doing which would satisfy that search.

But what i've realized in the last couple days  (as i have gone back,   only some,….it was overwhelming to try to go back through it all)    is that something else happened entirely.  

Posting every day became a TOOL.

that slowly, without my even being aware of it taught me to stay in a day.  One single day.  This day. Today.

Unmoored from the past, unattached to any future.  Just a singular one and only day.  to live that day fully and look long.   It broke the lifelong habit of that kind of Julia Cameron Morning Pages person that remained somewhat,  ummmm,  somewhat more attached to the "thoughts about" than the "experience of".   I don't know if this makes sense, but it is a HUGE and Wonder Full realization.

So, now?   Me, the cloth, the Goats, the Cat, the Dog, the Land….we might be here for the long haul.  Who Knows?   So…I think i'll just go.  One day at a time.

Today,  this day,  ending with SO MUCH WIND.   I put a new wall on the Buck Hut just in time for this stormy night of maybe rain, maybe snow.   and i don't have a clue Why,  but they were all so gentlemanly.  More than ever before.  Taking close interest in the doings,  receiving love in the form of scratching and touch,  and not finding it necessary to EXPRESS THAT BACK in their usual bucky ways.  Just being there.  with me.  i don't know what to think.

 

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and i had to bring the truck in to unload the feed.  Days like this you have to tie the gate open against the WIND.

and as a SURPRISE,  Marti and her husband arrived with the 4 Native Plum trees i'd ordered from Plants of the Southwest in Albuquerque.  That i'd thought i'd go pick up at their house when the car gets fixed.   But they BROUGHT them!  and we bagged some mulch for their garden beds.

After they left I readied things.  Put on my Hundertwasser bracelet  and signaled to Snowbunny.  Ready????  Opened the gates and made an OH SO SMOOTH, smooth, smooth transition from the Way Back to the Front.  Flawless.  Just in time ahead of the Storm.   it was Beauty Full.  Lucky Star and the young ones in the middle.  Perfect harmony.  One Mind.  A Herd.   We were like the Wildebeests crossing the Serengeti.   And the Crows came low…their wings outstretched but still.  Not moving.  Just riding the Wind.  

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it's a New Moon tonight.  before i go to sleep,  i'll plant the seeds.

What comes after 365?  i guess…..366.

Love to You All,

                   

 

 

 

 

Posted in

54 responses to “three hundred and sixty five”

  1. lindamorris Avatar
    lindamorris

    i sure hope 366 comes next. would miss you too much if not.
    it has been such a pleasure and a learning and a friendship to drop in here. congratulations to you on Such an Accomplishment ! what you say about yourself a year ago. sounds pretty much like where i am at currently ( looking for something, way full of thoughts )anyways dear grace. thank you for being here xo

    Like

  2. julie Avatar
    julie

    g’night Snow Bunny…g’nite Chinche…g’night Plum Trees…g’night gracie.

    Like

  3. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Tears? Yup. Joy! Such a joyous post dear Grace…and me, we,”woven into each others days.” Your year was like a Buddhist practice’…every day presence, one day at a time…just going. Here’s to 366!

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  4. grace Avatar

    linda…maybe we can talk about that more here. it was
    such an ingrained lifelong thing for me. and to let it go
    without even knowing i was, is such a Surprise and is
    very beautiful too…for me.
    so, Here’s to US, as we just go….and i thank you too,
    for the longstanding Being There with Jude and here and
    with Your Self….Love to you…

    Like

  5. grace Avatar

    g’nite Julie

    Like

  6. grace Avatar

    we go.
    it’s my Practice. yes. yes it is.
    LOVE,

    Like

  7. Valerianna Avatar

    This is a great post, Grace. As if you are standing at the summit, telling us what you see, what you saw on your climb, and there;s a feeling of euphoria, but then also, so, where’s the next trail… something like that. It spoke to me.

    Like

  8. Sharon Tomlinson Avatar

    Congrantulations on 365! I love your conclusion that it taught you to stay in the day. That was huge and totally unexpected for me. But your last paragraph about your herd of goats actually gave me chills. It is just the way you say things dear Grace. Nice.

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  9. grace Avatar

    V…there IS. there IS….a feeling of euphoria. i love that word…euphoria. Euphoria in that the Goats made the
    Transition flawlessly. Euphoria in that the Buck Goats were soft and caring. Euphoria in that Marti and Rich brought
    the trees so i don’t have to think a lot about the broken car.
    and now…just dark, now, ….Euphoria that WIND has gone back to behind the Rim. it’s suddenly
    STILL.
    Just moments ago, it was WILD and Crazy. now
    it’s still
    out there.
    Dark and Still. Dark and still.
    Still.
    so…yes. it’s still right now. but there is a Next trail. and i am Ready. and i am Glad for it. and i
    understand, finally, that i will do all i can do. This is good.
    Love,

    Like

  10. grace Avatar

    Sharon…then…Good. i try to say things exactly how i see them. no more, no less. because it’s the way it IS.
    the Goats.
    the Goats were beyond anything i would have hoped for today.
    the Buck goats and then the Herd.
    and now, as WIND has gone from here for the night, all is quiet out there. they are all sheltered as best as i can make for them. and THEM sheltered is ME sheltered. when they can sleep, i can sleep.
    i’m not sure what to make of it all. Watching. Looking.
    it’s what i can do. so…i think, ….. do that.
    THANK YOU, Sharon. Thank YOU a LOT

    Like

  11. Deb G Avatar

    I can see you moving the goats in my mind and it is beautiful. As is being in the moment and tools. Big hug and lots of love to you Grace!

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  12. grace Avatar

    Deb…moving the Goats. not really the Serengeti at all. a short
    distance. But for Them and Me, oh….EEEEEEEEEEEEE…we go.
    When they were all in the Front, they were so funny. Whirling and
    Crazy with each other and to see Lucky Star, the two young does,
    Whirling along with everyone else was such an incredible JOY.
    HUGE.
    to LEARN. to UNDERSTAND. so big. so important. so Worth Anything and Everything.
    Tools. yup. Tools.
    love to you,

    Like

  13. Carole Avatar
    Carole

    staying for ‘the long haul’, i love that, and i love Grace how you not just give a flitting comment, but you have a conversation with each of your followers, lifting them up and bringing love and life to each other, it gives me goosebumps xo
    with Love carole xo

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  14. grace Avatar

    Carole…it’s Sisters. we are that. Family. the Posts
    are the Intro to the thought and then All of Us fill that
    thought out to it’s Whole. for me, it’s the total point
    of this internet stuff. that we be to eachother who we are.
    That we question and wonder. this is just so great and the best to me.
    and even when we don’t know, and even if we might dis
    agree? this too is the greatest.
    if we can go deeper and deeper into the connection. this
    is my wish.
    Love to you back

    Like

  15. dedri Avatar

    Your posts have been a breath of fresh air. It is a wonderful glimpse into your world and means more than you may know. I hope you will continue to let us in. Blessings to you and the goats.

    Like

  16. Tracy Leppold Avatar
    Tracy Leppold

    Hurray you’re staying here and we can come visit. Thank you for telling us all about it and sharing your life. It is all good.

    Like

  17. Carole Avatar
    Carole

    beautifully said grace .. and i agree with Dedri ‘below’.
    to listen and ‘see’ from someone in this world who gives US PEACE ,it is so humbling to watch a beautiful goat lady who gives us visions …other than the war c..p that is happening in this world xo

    Like

  18. ² Avatar
    ²

    that’s you
    just going on
    from moon to moon
    day by day
    hour by hour
    moment by moment
    looking after each
    look wath is to see
    be stil
    and breath
    so it was
    so it is

    Like

  19. Nancy Avatar

    Yes to all of this post and comments alike. 365.
    I’ve missed some of the days recently, but been here for most of them and joined the conversation for lots.
    And it has seeped in and changed me. I often see things I may have missed, or I see them with my Graceeyes. This is good, this twining of lives. I am richer for the experience. (((hugs))) to you my friend.

    Like

  20. Nanette Avatar

    I hope there’s more…I’ve loved this journey with you. I was herding my chickens to bed tonight and suddenly you and goats ‘popped in’…and I remembered tonight maybe is the last night, sad for a space then it was gone. You are still here, going along, connected. Thankyou for sharing your year’s journey Grace…

    Like

  21. debbie.weaver Avatar

    I agree so much with all that has been said, I hope there is 366 i would miss your daily posts greatly, it has been a pleasure and a privilege to share your daily thoughts and life, and such beautiful thoughts you have.

    Like

  22. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    this year..so broken and unexpected and frayed…but all those things became different here..a time and a space and a sharing of a different light and your extended hand and each morning i could be in that day and on the many days when there was not power..or worse in a way… connectivity..the power of what was shared here was still tangible and immense
    reconnecting is joy full..i woke up early this morning..finally back in vermont..there is a meadow of crisp white snow and six small deer are bounding across it barely visible through the mist…and read marti’s words from yesterday, and then today post and just for this small quiet period of time i am full of the thought of native plums and the happiness of surprise, the herd of goats..all the pieces that you offer up each day..and you technology is the wonderful tool we all use here..but you grace are the connecting force through which this all flows and i am so happy and grateful to be a part of youmeus…i am going back to sleep for awhile..it was quite the trip up..but i could not wait to check in on this day..so thank you much..hoping for days without number..much love

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  23. Linda Avatar

    and i add my congrats to you dear grace. since i’m traveling i don’t always have internet so catch up when i do. today was that day of catching up, so when i got on and saw 365 days i was thrilled. a long year of days. we are all still here in this year wherever here is.
    so i send blessings and congrats from cape town where it is summer. love to you

    Like

  24. jude Avatar

    It’s a tool, yes, an extended looking. a NET. and we are caught in it here with you. A herd is like a wild wind.

    Like

  25. patricia Avatar

    “unmoored from the past, unattached to the future.” yes. right now. and right now i’m breathing that in and if i can be with this day, just as it unfolds, and nothing else, well, that again will be everything and enough. i’m practicing it. and i thank you again.

    Like

  26. beth Avatar

    Filled with love reading all here.

    Like

  27. jan millington Avatar
    jan millington

    I’ve just lurved coming and spending time with you and the goats. Is it really a year? On the one hand that feels so fast; on the other…wow, a whole year! Time is such a tricky thing. That’s one of the reasons it can be so hard to ‘be’ in the here and now. I just hope I’ll be ‘Ready?’ when the time comes! I hope there will be, in time, 366.

    Like

  28. Saskia Van Herwaarden Avatar

    a year, huh?! and yet it was a day at a time and so i followed your daily doings and sometimes not and had to catch up and then fell back into the rhythm of standing there and watching with you and listening to your story
    what a journey Grace
    i find self thinking about you a lot and wondering what are you up to NOW?
    overhere it’s dark again and in an hour or two i’ll be off to bed, so i bid you goodnite and see you tomorrow xx

    Like

  29. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    It is also a practice to allow others to practice with you…for reading you every day (I only missed when I was out of town or without service) was like that.

    Like

  30. yvette Avatar

    366
    what a reliefe
    i was so afraid for this day !
    thank you soso much

    Like

  31. handstories Avatar

    “Wildebeests crossing the Serengeti” – I just grinned and grinned at this idea of you and your goats. Happy EVERYTHING to you all. I remember the what now thoughts when I finished the squares, but as you once told me, “something always happens”. love to you and this place of yours.

    Like

  32. grace Avatar

    this would not have occured to me. but i smile…
    Suffering Through the Sitting…
    the ongoingness of such Ordinary…
    SMILE…similar

    Like

  33. grace Avatar

    Carole…i want to FIX all the great great grief going on
    across my most loved Planet. i stay aware of all of it.
    but also know that in this moment i am not prepared to
    GO OFF and do something. Something. so here i am.
    what can i do Here?

    Like

  34. grace Avatar

    dedri…we lower our heads to receive any blessings.
    i hope to come down to see you someday

    Like

  35. grace Avatar

    Tracy…Thank YOU for helping me tell it

    Like

  36. grace Avatar

    so it was and so it is and so it Will Be. yes?

    Like

  37. grace Avatar

    Nancy…i am also richer for you. You go. You always go.
    and yes. i always feel your presence.
    LOVE

    Like

  38. grace Avatar

    O!….herding chickens….sometimes i think i really NEED
    chickens…but then….NO! i DO NOT need one single more
    Sentient Being in my life…it would Crash me…even one
    more and chickens are also herd people/flock people…
    i don’t know what else to do beside just going…..
    love,

    Like

  39. grace Avatar

    it has been a privilege to become part of other peoples
    experience…i wish i could think about how to make that
    more….

    Like

  40. grace Avatar

    Cynthia…in a certain way, you have been my Heroine. you
    have kept going kept going kept going
    Could i have kept going that way?
    but now. Now you are There. just There. and all you will
    have to do is Just go.
    MUCH LOVE, MUCH LOVE….

    Like

  41. grace Avatar

    Linda…i have read of all your oh so incredible experiences.
    and love that you have shared them and ALSO found a moment to come here. I thank you so much for that…LOVe

    Like

  42. grace Avatar

    Tools. Tools. Tools. i am very caught in the thing of
    Tools.
    How YOU gave me TOOLS

    Like

  43. grace Avatar

    it doesn’t always work. but it does, more than not.
    and the best part is that it is accidental. i didn’t know.
    but then, i realized.
    it’s been a lifetime of Going to get here

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  44. grace Avatar

    You have mattered to me. a LOT.

    Like

  45. grace Avatar

    it’s a blurr. it disappears fast.

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  46. grace Avatar

    yup. a year. what a funny thing that is, yes?, a YEAR????
    and when you are not here, i go to Your House.
    good night and sweet dreams

    Like

  47. grace Avatar

    yvette…as i said. i don’t know what else to do….
    LOVE you….

    Like

  48. grace Avatar

    i don’t remember saying that but i’m GLAD i did and GLAD
    you remembered, because it’s really so much the Truth.
    Something always Happens. it does. and if we are ok
    with it, it will do what it will.
    LOVE, Cindy…love to you

    Like

  49. roz Avatar
    roz

    hi grace
    as i read this page , number 365 , all i can think and feel is connection.
    the connection of you with you , you with your herd, you with your tribe, you with your land.
    like you have held up a mirror and really seen.
    and perhaps been satisfied with the view.
    at peace with the view.
    and in this time of discombobulation in my world , this swirling whirling dervish that is inside me at the moment , i envy the journey you have been on. a dedicated one. takes stamina .
    go you …
    go for the long haul !

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  50. grace Avatar

    yes. satisfied with the View. at peace with the View.
    you need to remind yourSelf that i am considerably older
    than you. i used to live in a swirling world. the
    Journey itself takes you. through the swirl, teaching
    stamina for the long haul. it’s all Important.
    Love to you

    Like

  51. dee Avatar

    Congrats on 365. Interesting how it changed you and how you sit inside of a day. Makes me want to try it out. Will you continue, daily? Want, also, to write – YOU are Beauty Full and so much of what you share has the capacity to transport me, the reader, far away, in the twenty degree weather of an endless winter (but, not really – the days are visibly longer now!!!)

    Like

  52. grace Avatar

    in the last couple days i am noticing even more how it worked as a
    Tool.
    i don’t know if i will continue daily or not. i am just going, see if i show up. but it is continuing to work in a certain way.
    i am so glad it can be felt like a place to escape the cold. this
    winter here has been so so mild.

    Like

  53. deb Avatar

    I’m sorry I missed this day when it happened. I was just back from away and tangled up in my own stuff. I have been waiting for the circle of your year to bite it’s own tail but it’s starting to look more like a grand, ever widening spiral. I’m glad.

    Like

  54. Minka Avatar

    Big congrats! I hope you keep going. I like to stop by from time to time. This was a wonderful posting about a huge accomplishment, a practice, a way of being.

    Like

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