i don't know.  i don't know much of anything at all.  and today,  i made my Self stay OutSide.  like a kid.  when the Adult of the house says:  Go Out Side.  Find something to DO.   so…i did.  i stayed OutSide, all day.  when WIND came and was wreaking havoc,  i hunched over against the West Fence, by the Cucumbers.  Squated down.  watched stuff be buffeted to and fro.  and then…Wind would forget.  and there would be a time of softness and warmth and i would poke around.  just looking at stuff.  noticing.

 

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the young Locust.  beginning to leaf.  the Praying Mantis Egg Case…

 

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Mexican Elderberry.  Very leafy.

 

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young Woad

 

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baby Woad

 

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how the dorky Morning Doves feed with the Goats.  can you see them?  like at twelve oclock?

there?…they like the seeds i guess,  dropped from when i distribute the hay between the 5 bowls.  the Goats no longer notice them.  Just accept them as part of their world.   and i found the bamboo back scratcher.  it was under the porch,  the front porch,  from when Julian was here.  he used it for many things.  and now,  i can use it for the Goat Taming Tool…like at Mustang Camp.  it is first.  before the human hand.   you say "can I Touch You?"  and extend the backscratcher ….scratching.

D!   and give a peanut.

 

Can i touch you?grace?D!and give a ……what?….what would be my "reward"??????

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34 responses to “oh well….”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    A beautifully formed yellow hot growing from your land, that would be your reward and mine would be a hug from you…but you know, every time that I come here to windthread, I get my reward.

    Like

  2. jude Avatar

    the place has a calmer sense of home. you made something here.

    Like

  3. grace Avatar

    no. mine would be a hug from you.

    Like

  4. grace Avatar

    this is the FIRST spring that i have not been unbelievably anxious about WIND. last summer, Paul, who can do anything, Paul, went around and shored up the fences. he put those squares of diamonds between the fence panels. he put extra
    4x4s. he put the new and great wood stove pipe through
    the ceiling.
    it has taken so long.
    so long.
    but stuff takes a long time., sometimes. mine, or someone elses…different. but stuff takes time. it goes. just
    so much. and you learn to go with it. and you get
    SomeWhere. and it’s Good. it’s really really Good.

    Like

  5. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Suddenly it makes sense. All of it makes perfect sense. It calms me, this post. It grounds me seeing your ground. Now, back to bed for me ‘night wanderer’. Later today, down the stairs and out of doors.

    Like

  6. patricia Avatar

    Jude is right–there is such a sense of peace and home in these pics. from the mantis case to the pastoral image of goats and doves. i’m sitting with the image of backscratcher extended in your direction–what could be offered? nubby yarn.

    Like

  7. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    I think if you offer Grace real and honest truth, she’d not only let you touch her, she would jump into your lap. For awhiile.

    Like

  8. Susan C Avatar

    Those locust leaves are something else – little green hands opening. We found a praying mantis case yesterday but it was very gray and we thought already empty. Yours looks very alive and colorful.

    Like

  9. Coppercreekers Avatar

    i too love the pictures. especially the goat yard. i admire your way of thinking and seeing the world around you. this post gives off a wonderful feeling of ‘Grace’ and her home.

    Like

  10. Mo Crow Avatar

    spring beginners mind
    to touch…
    do we need a reward?
    or is the acceptance of the gentle touch a reward in itself

    Like

  11. ali Avatar
    ali

    The morning doves–they have much to teach us, it seems. As do the goats. One world, peaceful together…peaceful place, Grace. sending love

    Like

  12. handstories Avatar

    love all of the beginnings here. and the peace. I was sent outside a lot. usually went to the library.

    Like

  13. grace Avatar

    i went to the creek. where my Real world was.

    Like

  14. grace Avatar

    this would be said to me when i was supposed to be vacuuming the upolstry in the living room. it was the only time i can ever remember being “deceitfull”. i would be really bad at
    it. clumsey. flopping cushions. i had come to realize that if you are really BAD at something, you could get out of
    doing it. get sent
    OutSide. RELEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  15. handstories Avatar

    I did this with the dishwasher & K…and ironing with great success. I tried to do it w/dusting growing up, all of those endless milkglass knick-knacks, but mom just made me do it again.

    Like

  16. grace Avatar

    then, really, i was LUCKY. she said
    Go Outside. Find something to DO
    oh, YES and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, finding Millions
    of things to DO!!!!

    Like

  17. grace Avatar

    it does?…make perfect sense?????, does it? ????
    if it calms you…then yes and Good. yes.
    i look at it. it’s where i Live.

    Like

  18. grace Avatar

    yes. nubby yarn. anything for nubby yarn
    the Goats and doves…so funny. really Funny. doves are
    Funny. they are so vocal here. not just the mourning
    hoo hoo but the thing they do when they try to sound like
    hawks, the shrill shriek. well…they have found their
    Place. Who am I to say?

    Like

  19. grace Avatar

    you are right, Julie. yes. for awhile.

    Like

  20. grace Avatar

    i am going to watch this one. i watched the one on the
    rocks in the Child Buddha garden but then suddenly, it was
    no longer there…????
    this one, watching.
    so MUCH happens out there….

    Like

  21. grace Avatar

    it gets MORE and MORE
    and More of me in Theirs than mine

    Like

  22. grace Avatar

    we like a reward i think. acknowledgement.

    Like

  23. grace Avatar

    ali…i avoid saying this, but….
    i miss you. What are you DOING?

    Like

  24. beth Avatar

    ummm. gulp. Some very painful thing is buried deep here for me. And just got awakened. Getting sent away when your work did not measure up. Only… I was not being deceitful. That little beth tried so very very very hard. Why could my mother not see that. The crushing pain of not measuring up. And then much later much defiance. Rejecting before rejection could be dealt out. Long long time ago…

    Like

  25. grace Avatar

    i have to go to work, the Old Cowboy…but i’ll be
    back later.
    LOVE…

    Like

  26. Mo Crow Avatar

    thinking about this for a few days… in my nearly 60 years on the planet the best reward has been an encouraging word in a fragile moment both in the giving and in the receiving

    Like

  27. grace Avatar

    Measuring up. the measuring up for me didn’t have to do with
    preforming tasks. it had to do with being somehow a born heathen.
    how we give so much over year after year even into our old age, to
    people, because they are called Mother, to people who are innocently
    ignorant. Who say things that are so cripple ing to Spirit.
    Innocently Ignorant. Innocently Ignorant. this is the Key.

    Like

  28. grace Avatar

    a touch.
    be it word
    or a Sign
    of some sort.
    Something that says: I know you. and you are Good. to me.

    Like

  29. beth Avatar

    Well of course I regretted saying that “out loud” almost instantly. Just such a sharp jolt of reactive pain there. Still there. Long long time later. It was good to observe that. But innocently ignorant. Not so sure about the innocently part… I’ll need to work on that. Love.

    Like

  30. grace Avatar

    my mother was an intelligent well read woman. i have come
    to give her memory that word…innocent. linked to ignorant. for me, i give it.
    if i ever would have been able to tell her how her
    “mothering” made me feel, she would have totally denied
    it being possible. this is the woman who swore she was
    NEVER angry, only peeved. peeved. oh well….
    she’s long gone and i’m still here….still a mother
    myself. that’s the part that is important.
    Love to you..

    Like

  31. Mo Crow Avatar

    and those doors that are help open for us so we can get through

    Like

  32. ali Avatar
    ali

    it’s been a long cold lonely winter, but I am slowly thawing…returning

    Like

  33. Martine Avatar

    This young locust is starting into spring. Look how he’s packed with energy and cannot wait to start growing……
    I can feel his power……..oh could i fly with him…….

    Like

  34. grace Avatar

    YES. Packed with Energy….yes. and like a Little
    Dragon, this branch, yes???, yes.

    Like

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