Before i went to lie face down upon Earth,  i was given word from my old mentor in my other life, Kay.  She said….GO.  NPR.  Terri Gross ~ Fresh Air ~interview May 10th with Sam Baker.  Go.  listen.  she said.   So this morning, first thing, after my face being "in the face" of Earth,  i did as i was told.   It is Extraordinary.   He is an Extraordinary,  Plain,  and  Honest  human being.   So, i don't know if it was face in Earth,  listening to this interview or a combination of both, which i think is the truth,  but i felt as if my whole self  was so excruciatingly OPEN.  I can't describe it in any other way.  That has to do.

and then as i moved through the Morning Things,  i thought about the above question.  Am i looking too hard at Sorrow?  For sure,  there has been a ummm,  quickening,  of the sense of Urgency for this planet,  this Earth.   and i always have that hesitation before posting about that because i know it's not Easy Listening.  So as i weighed talking about this Interview with Sam Baker, i asked self that question.  Am i looking too hard at Sorrow?,  Or,  do i just need to stay,  Looking,  for as long as it takes,  to See and/or Go 

Through 

it…to what's on the other side,

it's not like there are not all the truly beauty full things here still.  They are here, holding steady.  Like the PROFUSION of yearling Whiptail lizards,  so amazingly brilliantly BLUE,  their faces, bellys, tails.  There is,  that today i brought the Goats back into the Way Back and watched their JOY at RUNNING.  and felt their Joy so much.. Inside me.   And the Happiness,  the soft sweet Happiness that with the distraction of the doe Goats not so near,  the buck Goats simply received me in their Pen,  received me,  among them,  saying words,  scratching the good places,  well…just Being with them.  

one of the things i thought of doing is to just post pics.  no words.  till i am …..Through.  Through to the other side.  

but then,  Toot Toot,  my most loved UPS woman with:

The Soil Will Save Us    ….   Kristin Ohlson   ….  2014,  Rodale Press

here so fast.  

and i opened it,  and read it's dedication:  For Holland, Sylvie, and all the inheritors:                                Don't be meek!

and i looked at her face on the back flap….yes.  this woman Is.  Kristin Ohlson is a writer, it says.  "based in Portland Oregon.  Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Christian Science Monitor, Salon, Discover and elsewhere.  Her article about burning coal mines was collected in Best American Science Writing 2011.  She is also the author of Stalking the Divine, which won the American Society of Journalists and Authors' 2004 Best Nonfiction Book award, and the coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Kabul Beauty School."

and i thought, maybe it can go this way.  As i read,  and i have already begun,  i can post here what i am reading.  and if it goes well,  as in,  what she has to say,  i can live in side the HOPE.  yes,  the HOPE,  that the soil will save us.  That we will be able to allow that to happen.  and as i thought that,  i thought about how i will say sometimes that Earth,  this Planet,  has an Intelligence that surpasses our own.   Could it be?   like, Really?  like more than just the words say?  

and maybe.  maybe that's what's on the Other side, of going through Sorrow?  maybe not.  am still thinking.  and still not knowing.  but soon…i Will go back out and lie,  face into Earth.  because i Want to.  i really really Want to.

 

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looking out this Morning.  How i usually look Through this,  but today i looked At it.

 

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and Into it…seeing how one of the stones that's "from nearby" has crumbled into it's components, exposing a perfect crystal of flourite.  

 

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invisible baste,  anchoring things.  Looking.

 

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and again.  Terri Gross  Fresh Air  NPR  interview with Sam Baker  May 10th, 2014

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28 responses to “Wondering. Am i looking too hard at Sorrow?”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    No I don’t think you are looking too hard at sorrow, you feel the Earth, have always done so and what is being done to it over these past years is personal, is a wound. Leave a wound alone and it festers. Pay attention to the wound and it slowly heals so we each in our own way, dress our wounded Planet by acknowledging it, by doing our best to be stewards to the land, by balancing sorrow with the seeds of hope, by recycling, by becoming less wasteful, by planting seeds, creating compost, rejoicing when we are rewarded for our efforts by worms. We tend and care and are mindful and we reap a harvest that has as much to do with sustenance as it has to do with spirit and gratitude for what Earth is.
    On the other hand, the easy way would be to not only bandage the wound but remove ourselves from the pain and sorrow by simply walking away, no more sharing of reading, no further discussion, no action, let what will happen, simply happen…To that I say,NO, not here, not in this time, not on our watch.
    So continue to give notice grace, share your findings via books, info on the internet, etc. because these are tools that we all need. Most importantly, there is something else that is needed and is found here in windthread and that is Balance:
    For every note of sorrow or despair, comes the simple telling of the quiet joy of the day, of goats running back and forth, of blue tailed lizards, of iris and mallow. You see it’s all here, Earth gives us what we need – all we have to do is SEE and then, move beyond seeing to give back…

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  2. grace Avatar

    yes. it IS
    personal
    it is.
    so, maybe yes. i watch tonight, them. those doe Goats. woman Goats. tonight they are thinking about the Albatros, where they Go in the night when Over There. This night, while it is FREE and OPEN, it is
    Free and Open. they will sleep, in clusters of Mother/Daughter/Aunt under the stars. and right now, they are Realizing that. they move, move, move. Settle and then move. then Settle. soon, they will have clustered it Right and they will stay still, and sleep.

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  3. ² Avatar
    ²

    thaks for make us/me part of your going on with our planet
    even as i /we do
    we just can handle when we understand it what and how we have done in the past , now…. stap by stap for those
    who SEE this planet as a home/as living not as a thing to used
    but to work with together as one
    i tought about it on mothers day …
    yes my mother give me birth and mothering for me as i was a child
    now earth is THE MOTHER
    i give her respect i SEE her life
    yes earth give us what we need
    the quiet joy of the day and …
    we play together … enjoy it dear grace and all of you
    thanks love

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  4. ² Avatar
    ²

    when i will close this p c
    i sse the full moon reflecting the light of the sun
    so that we can SEE that moon
    we are just so a small part of this all
    but we ARE a Part
    great is’nt it

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  5. Mo Crow Avatar

    you have such a great way with words Marti, I hope you write a book one day so I will get a signed copy!

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  6. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    oh grace..a day full of commitments ..and busy ness awaits..but always so good to stat here…there is a huge storm moving in band the clouds are racing through the gap at the end of the valley..and i am ..as i can clearly see at the end of the meadow..up before the cows…barn swallows are starting the\ir swoop ad are being challenged by the wind…the eastern king bird is hovering ..the red winged black bird is increasingly vocal and the sky is just ..way more than 50 shades of gray and changing by the minute…
    so many things to respond to…thank you to you thank you to marti..whose words are another balm themselves
    but i just wanted to stop for a minute and share a truly wonderful time from yesterday..the vermont institute of science came to after care at the little school here…and we had a raptor program..it was amazing in every way…the first raptor was a red tail hawk…he had been injured and brought in…18 years ago…a broken wing healed incorrectly in the wild…the second a male kestrel..so achingly beautiful with a brilliant blue head and tail feathers..found as a nestling..and kept…in a house so he cannot live in the wild…and a very old barred owl..a power line incident left him stunned and blinded in one eye
    they were all magnificent..the program was well presented..our kids..from K through 6 had great questions..learned so much..the hands on amazing in itself…we were allowed to hold peregrine falcon wings and then huge owl wings..she taught us how to move them through the air to hear the swift dive of the falcon and the utter silence of the owl’s approach…to feel the sharpness of the talons of raptors ..to measure themselves against the outspread wings…to examine the skulls ..to feel the lightness of the bones…and then the children shared with us..the sounds they have heard..the stories they had themselves…small people in the natural world..it was a magical afternoon..full of care and promise..wish you could have been there..sitting on the earth and reveling in the joy of the day..
    gentle day grace

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  7. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    For me, the place that works best is to do the healing actions that you describe but from a place of love rather than sorrow.Living in sorrow for the larger pictures (of the country, of the planet) takes away so much from Life that it doesnt feel a correct use of what I have been given. The tricky part of this “philosophy” is to still be motivated by outrage but not dragged to my knees. Of course, I can be brought to a day under the bed covers by a bad phone call so maybe I just pick my sorrows.

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  8. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    …already Friday. All the thoughts are like mine and yet so well articulated. The same message came in a different way to me…that grief is only one part, the Joy part depends on it. Balance, like Marti says, balance is the task, a constant, flowing, moving and accommodating balance within the multiplicity of possibilities. It is a possibility that soil will save us. Every inclination and action in that direction makes it so. Even the wish that it be so, makes it so.

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  9. patricia Avatar

    that was beautiful–the interview–and somehow helps me reshape a sense of perspective–would that be the balance Michelle and Marti also mention? so fine in its simple–uh–purity. that’s the word. purity. but it has created more than the thought–there is a feeling attached and it somehow sidesteps or leaps over “struggling.” if that makes any sense. being …in a state of loving g

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  10. patricia Avatar
  11. jude Avatar

    for me, well I don’t know, i just go the best I can, try to have respect. sorrow paralyzes me.

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  12. Deb G Avatar

    I haven’t listened to the interview yet, but the song was beautiful… here’s the link:
    http://www.npr.org/2014/05/06/310089151/sam-baker-finding-grace-in-the-wake-of-destruction
    And I keep thinking about “active hope” (Joanna Macy/Chris Johnstone), “First, we take a clear view of reality; second, we identify what we hope for in terms of the direction we’d like things to move in or the values we’d like to see expressed; and third, we take steps to move ourselves or our situation in that direction.”

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  13. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I get healing from a place of love Julie but grace was wondering if she was looking to hard at a place called sorrow so I wanted to specifically address her concern.

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  14. grace Avatar

    Living in sorrow and Looking at Sorrow…different.
    and i think we are all “tuned” in different ways, so
    each of us will approach everything, whether personal
    or planetary in different ways. and that is as it needs
    to be. an example is that i don’t experience what
    i would call outrage.
    i need to look at things long enough to reach a point
    of what feels to be understanding. and i actually wouldn’t
    even have asked this question if it were just me and me thinking.
    but i ask it, of myself, because i feel responsible for how what i
    write here makes others feel. so i guess asking this question yesterday was a way to acknowledge this, “out
    loud”.

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  15. grace Avatar

    Deb, there are two interviews. The one that i love is
    the May 10th interview with Terri Gross, Fresh Air.

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  16. Dana Avatar

    Dear Grace, thank you so much for the link to Sam Baker. I, too, felt it open me wide. I cried a bucket for everything…so many things, so much pain, such incredible beauty. The sorrow you feel for the earth I also feel. The crushing fear of losing our mother is so much greater than any fear of personal death…I feel pinned by it, like a bug on a board.
    And yet. Rage and fear will only perpetuate themselves. We can’t save our mother with anything but love. Thank you again for a place to say this.

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  17. Deb G Avatar

    Good to know, that’s the one I linked too. The interview is at the top of that link. Listening to it right now. 🙂

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    Marti mirrors. her words hold up a Mirror.

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar

    Maria. yes. step by step. today i played. softly,
    care full y
    softly

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    it is. it is very. Great.

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    all of it, but i love that you were shown how to move the wings
    i wish. yes. i wish i could have been there, sitting
    with the children
    a StormLove to you

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar

    it does make sense.
    Leaps over “struggle”

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar

    sorrow lets me understand

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
  25. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. greater. far greater than any personal fear.
    and that in itself says Something

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  26. Deb G Avatar

    Your welcome. And yes, the interview is well worth the time, important to share.

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  27. grace Avatar

    well worth.

    Like

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