right before it tips toward dusk, SUN poised, it seems, waiting….and anyminute will tip. So to put this here and maybe more pics later, we'll see.
First, i bought a Stove today. I have never bought a stove before. Ever. There were stoves included in everyplace i've lived. Even the HOUSE in Ann Arbor. a stove there, already. Back a while ago i moved the beloved old Dixie stove from the Airstream into this house because my son was coming for thanksgiving and i wanted to cook a turkey. So pulled out the old stove that came with this Metal House and didn't have any sense of temperature…pulled it out and put in the Dixie from the old Airstream. Oven worked "better". and since….one side of the top 4 burners wasn't working and Bill, Alz. B's son, was checking it out and subsequently broke the "tubes". That was i guess 2 years ago? So that left me with the two right side burners. OK. But then, when the kids were recently here, the one "good" front burner i guess got stripped, the knob. Sometimes you can't turn it off….and well……..so there was a stove, an apartment sized stove, on sale. Done deal. The best part is that it's BLACK. ahhhh. Black appliance. Love Black Appliances. And i figured that this is the time that i will have the Most Money Ever….with the Alz. B. care money. Once that's over, things will become very very thin. So if there is a time to buy a stove, it would be now. What pushed me over the edge is that canning season is coming. The old Dixie couldn't do it. Need to can the tomatoes. so…I sigh and fill in the credit card info. This is Good.
Mornings continue to be a Nightmare. The energy level at 6 a.m. is HUGE. She is Right Here… Intense! and i am the total Focus. so…6 am to about 7:30 am. The time that i am most uhhh, barely here…the time that i have needed so much. But it's how it is.
she is EverPresent. No more than a foot away, or a few. It's claustrophobic for me. For her, something totally different. So we just try.
for Her and Chinche, well, knock on wood, it seems to have reached it's level. No big deal. Chinche has remembered, through Tay, a lot of dog things she had needed to forget. She spends more time outside now. Barks at disturbances outside the gate. Seems to have found some new level of energy. Tay is easier on her…lots of times, just touch…nose to ear, mouth to body. But just touch. not hard. Touch.
"Toy", the stuffed rabbit, took the brunt of it today. A HOT day with a STORM and so HOT and HUMID and we all breathed through, but mid day, Toy's stuffing got removed. Dear Toy.
small stitches and CROWS came. Amidst all the rest. today for whatever signal that was given, Onday ended up yelling from INSIDE the fenced in Oasis in the back…standing there YELLING, staring at the door from which i come Out, Yelling and i went out and opened the little fake gate, calling her and she came. But then just hours later, more YELLING and it was her daughter Mercy, this time…YELLING exactly the same from inside the Oasis fence…YELLING and i got her out too….oh EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee……oh Jeez. But somehow the craziness of it all is balancing me. the Sensitive Chaos. it is balancing me and today it seems more ok. Last night,
just at dark, i spent a long time outside watching Tay as she cruised. She likes night. This is the first time she has experienced running her , HER, peripheries at night. She is fluid. like Mercury…viscous and flowing…a Run of a being. If i can i'll get some pics of that tonight. Maybe.
There is a sense that we are going to be OK.
TheM:
Lucky Star in her most excellent and BeautyFull Goatness of simple Goat, part of Everything, Beautiful elegant excellent Lucky Star just one of Them….oh…just One of Them….
They wait. They wait for me. Knowing of the busyness and so they wait. But when i come, they are so so full of Giving.
i ordered a Boomer Ball.
for dogs with Excessive Energy. watching, i think she may Not have excessive energy, other than the energy to Connect. She thinks the ball is Interesting, but no more than a weed or a stick.
her Hide Out. in the Salt Cedar/Mexican Feather Grass
from the compost. a withered turnip that i forgot. brought to the porch.
windthread 
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