Went to work first half of day. Spent afternoon just walking around, looking at mud, at hoses, squatting at buck pens, looking into their eyes…with which they communicate….eye contact….
I talk to much. To myself, in my head. I'd like to talk in my head less.
what wouldn’t you say???
(I would love a quiet day with goats and mud.)
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EXQUISITE LOOKING HERE..the hairs on that soft soft spiky bloom–such contradictions in nature.
You know, when I sit to meditate, even with others, half of the time I’m watching/hearing/seeing thoughts, talk, images and the other half of the the time I’m letting them go and for a few seconds somewhere in between all that, I’m gone-silent-empty. The ratios change cause each time is a new time and each has it’s quality.
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I wonder if that is an occupational hazard of living alone? I remember in my alone days just feeling like I was living in so much noise and it was all coming from my head.
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“i’d like to talk in my head less.” i think that’s going to be my beacon of light for the day.
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When I’m not talking in my head (which is waaaay too often) I have a soundtrack of music that plays. I can never quite hear the words, but the music is always there (and I don’t live alone, for those who might be wondering). Turns out it is a common thing in people who are profoundly deaf (which I am … even with hearing aids I hear inside my head much better than I hear the world … a decidedly mixed blessing).
Anyway, if you ever figure out a way to short circuit the interior monologue, please share the secret!!!
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i talk out loud a lot. it empties me.
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Smiling. That particular gate. Sometimes I have to say it aloud to my head. Oh Beth just shut up. Shut the F up.
That last photo. The soft colors, the fuzzy hairs. I love this so much. What is the little bubble looking thing about 5 o’clock on the bud?
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I love that you keep asking the questions Grace!
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Ha! Talking back to the voices … I love it!!
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i would like to excuse my self from the useless repetition and
become more able to be in the excellent PRESENT. The future is
totally unknown and can have so many things that factor IN at any moment at all.
I would like to be PRESENT in this moment. Just this. Just this.
Not a lot of sifting through thoughts is required for that. Just attention.
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the meditation time for me can be very empty, very quiet. It’s all
the rest. I need to allow them to be the same
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I love the thought, but i don’t think so. They are really not even thoughts, or internal dialogue, but just some kind of Impressions that represent a WHOLE thing. Like the word
Daughter
there is a Whole Thing that can rise up, a slide show.
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i’d like to address what is in front of my face
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i want to ask you more about this…it is beyond interesting to me, what it might be LIKE to be profoundly deaf, what is the Beauty of it? The monologue is Just That. a Monologue. and it’s the Repetition of it, that over and over, that i want/need to be free of.
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my internal conversation is mostly just Images. There are only the
few initial words that identify and then no more words.
so…i guess, i could say
Daughter
but that so far doesn’t empty much
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I do not know. the bubble. in the book in the introduction he says that flowers menstruate. I haven’t gotten that far in reading but
maybe????
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might as well…, yes?
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First paragraph…I am laughing out loud !!! Cannot count how many times I say this too..wonder how many others do it. Let’s start a Club…the shut the F up Club. Thanks for the laughter, Beth.
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Oops, don’t know what happened but my reply was suppose to go to Beth’s comment.
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it did. we’re cool
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lol, talk to self a lot, often don’t realize I am talking out loud, a friend commented on it once, in a kind friendly way: and I heard myself talking Out Loud…..thought I was talking to the dog, but once he was gone, nope the talking continued – thankfully not all the time – and then there’s the wonderful emptiness, mostly when walking with the dog; both are fine with me, two halves make a whole, yes
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windthread 
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