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in the beginning of the day there was this.  I caught the Maria cloths at the perfect moment of the SUN Rise and they GLOWED and VIBRATED with such innocent and singular intensity.  I stared and stared at this until SUN moved and freed me from it.   It was the day of Alz's B's memorial and though that wasn't till 1 oclock,  i was caught in it's coming all morning.  I thought about what it is to be Alive.  I thought about what it is to be Dead.   I remembered her as being alive for so many years in all the manifestations of that Aliveness and i thought about sitting there in the dark night when she had first become Dead and i thought.

I did Goat things.  Dog things.  Me things and i waited till it was time to go to the Memorial.  Memorial.  Well…..Memorial.   And me being me,  what will i say about this memorial?  Do we say stuff that is comforting?  Pretty?. even?  OR  do we talk about how we live?  Some, Pretty and comforting,  but also some NOT?

So i went and sat quietly through it.  So many wanted to say what they had to say that i didn't need to say anything at all.  The time was filled up very well with people saying what they wanted to say.  And i sat there and looked up at the ceiling where the Light shines through and i had Nothing at all to say.

So i am thinking about this.

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9 responses to “WIND”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    You went, you sat, quietly with your thoughts, you were there in remembrance; you were present, the same as when you went to music class, the same as when you would sit with Betty and read Mary Oliver poems, the same as when you were with her all those years ago in her home. If you believe that the spirit of a person lives on, then Betty knew what you would have said, the Mary Oliver poem. From the poem that you chose, these words:
    “Do you think there is any personal heaven for any of us? Do you think anyone, on the other side of that darkness will call to us, meaning us?”
    You said many people spoke; I think Betty did too by calling from the other side, by hearing what you felt, without the need for words.

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  2. jude Avatar

    what can you say really?

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  3. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    you were there…
    .in the blossom of the light
    that stands up every morning
    in the dark sky…
    you were there looking at the light.

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  4. ² Avatar
    ²

    beïng there was all you can do
    everything is connected with eachother
    if you want …or not …? want you ?
    you spoke … in toughts
    they say more than…..
    your living friends are still with you
    at the “youmeus” loving planet
    you miss Alz,B
    missing the moments of beïng togheter
    the music
    but you understand
    at the memoreal you feel up with the light
    there is no more
    not anny word that tells more
    wind ambraces you in love

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  5. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Thinking about being not alive is what I find myself doing…and that usually turns me to thoughts of being alive and then what’s to be done with that being thing of mine. What of the stuff of it, and who were all those people that peopled it, and what I feel about them now that they are gone. Love rises up out of nowhere. When my friend from writing group died, I didn’t go to the memorial. I felt I would be intruding on her family and others i never met. had I gone, I wouldn’t have been able to speak. They wouldn’t have understood the connection. You and your golden morning of thought, you and sitting silent absorbing what others said, and the light…all of that was your memorial. I’m touched by it.

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  6. patriciaspangler47@gmail.com Avatar

    i’m captivated by the brilliant hole in the cloth. the portal between front and back, here and there, this side…that side. it speaks volumes to me about all of this…all that you mention here.

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  7. Saskia Van Herwaarden Avatar

    having attended is itself a way of saying something

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  8. Liz Avatar

    So much anticipation … beautiful words unspoken, but heard where they needed to be … be at peace

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