First day of the Winter Month. By early afternoon it was gone. More to come tomorrow.
i spent the day being still. Having thoughts and staying with them a while. And i read. I tried to get a feel for Where I Am right now. What was clear is that since Tay came my regular meditation practice has gotten lost. I am Experiencing that in all ways. Time to go back and i thought, with all the recent flow i want to begin again with some time of Tonglen. And because he is so concise, I looked in Sogyal Rinpoche's Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. "Put very simply, the Tonglen practice of giving and receiving is to take on the suffering and pain of others and give them your happiness, well-being and peace of mind. And in the preliminary step, Self Tonglen, you divide yourself into two aspects. The aspect of you that is whole. The second the aspect of self that is fragmented, disturbed in any way. The first breathes in the fragmented and exhales compassion and well being. So for now, this is enough. And since mornings belong to Tay, i will need to reorient to early evening. This in itself will take a lot of practice.
And then i look again in Buhner's Plant Intelligence at the exercise of the Inner Council. " The point of the council exercise is to begin to work as one unified whole, as a group of integrated consciousness modules who interact companionably together." This done by Visualization to identify the many Parts of your self…which includes the child. Even the infant. Not all might be "human". they might be trees or birds or plants." at first to establish dialoge with them and then relationship. And so, as i was also re reading Women Who Run With the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola~Estes…..about the Scar Clan, this worked and also works with that thing i said the other day about maybe looking to establish a personal mythology. None of this is "new". But what DOES feel new is the place i find myself now…of the old woman. Beginning the Time of the old woman. There is a great sense of Freedom to this. And maybe most of all, there is for the first time no pre identified "goal". It's all for nothing but
Just Going. to Wherever it is we go.
This feels Expansive and Full of the Unknown.
and while daydreaming all this, i drew this, a Grass Person….and she was not Long enough so i had to cut and add a section of her…tape it in. I don't know if i like her eyes. I want her to be more like that Fiber Figure….amorphous. She's in a drawer somewhere. I'll get her out tomorrow.
windthread 
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