I thought about it all day, and realize that the comment about my daughter's silence yesterday might be considered "going too far", and i spent time looking at that this morning because we woke here to FOG that stayed till after Noon. So i held the clay ball and changed it's shape many times, felt it Warm in my hands. Let the clay "take me in". If you have a sense of what these Goats are to me, then you might be able to imagine what they were to her. If you knew all the details of her life, you might know even more about what they were to her. Things collapsed for her and that happens in people's lives. And her way during times like this is Silence. It would not be my way, but i respect and honor that it is hers. So i just wait. When it's time, things will change. And i went out when Sun broke through to find Snowbunny alone in the middle yard. Lying all like a Goat Goddess on the picnic table. So i sat with her a while. And we remembered together.
Snowbunny and Daffodil were her first Goats. It was because of them she began to have Goat Dreams. Not long into it, there were new born kids and one night some neighborhood dogs jumped the 6ft fence and came in to steal a newborn. It's a long story but Snowbunny stood her ground and made every effort to protect them all, in the process being severely ripped. Her jaw, down her chest. The vet advised to put her down but daughter did not. She slept on the floor of her laundry room with the door open so she could Hear. She slept with Snowbunny and cleaned her wounds, irrigating the gash in her face. She healed Snowbunny. Today, when i run my fingers over her, i can feel the scars. and Today, i felt for those scars…..and yes. they remain.
Trauma is trauma and we all have our ways of working through, of Just Going. What works for one does not necessarily work for the other. I have Great Faith in the Love between my daughter and me and i will just sit tight here. Waiting for a sign. And in the meantime, these Goats.
Alz B's son Bill who i buy grass hay from wanted me to take some bales of SunFlower to see if the Goats would eat it. It also has "some milkweed, but probably not much" in it. So rather than be argumentive, i took it. It was free. and today i hauled the bales and layed it down as mulch on the far side of the Good Compost Raised Bed. Around the two Native Plum. One of which i knew was ok but the other unsure. So today i found my courage and scratched the bark of the Ify One and yes. There is green. It lives. So this mulching in this area will maybe prevent weeds, or as many weeds, and will also hold moisture. Being the rough wild Sunflower stalks, will also allow plenty of oxygen in to the earth beneath. It's a strip where Tay runs and so her running will also break it down.
and i saw this on the ground. I was electrified! …..a pupae?????????????????…… of what and i reached down to pick it up and see that it was some kind of a very light beautiful piece of plastic. So, no pupae, but for a moment it Was and it was WonderFull, that moment
windthread 
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