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3/7/2015 the B Side

totally separate   ?????…and why might that be?  like, really???

i spent some time today watching the Vagina Monologues….Eve Ensler.  Because of the On Being Interview with her,  which i listened to last evening.  It's funny,  as in odd,  that i never looked at them before even tho knowing about her work as it was On Going,  all those years ago.  And i looked today and watched and listened and found myself in a sea of wonder.  I have an ongoing conversation with my Granddaughter, Alyssia about who and what we are,  who and what Everything is and because of what she is studying in her college courses,  she shares that with me and recently part of it is how it is developmentally  correct for persons of my age to be going through this ReView.  This re evaluation of everything so far.  I love these conversations with her,  her 25 year old self.  I love so much how we actually have so much to say to each other.  

So just to put this here.  because it's part of yesterday and today.  and has me thinking

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18 responses to “3/7/2015 the B Side”

  1. grace Avatar
    grace

    and i think i never looked at the monologues because i never liked that word
    Vagina
    it felt foreign to me. like a name someone who didn’t have one might name it.
    close in kin to the vaginal speculum.
    my own body part that it names is much more Animal. Much more well, animal.

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  2. grace Avatar
    grace

    and i think of her having gone to get a biopsy done of her cervix. And
    how the anesthesiologist casually ran his hand along her thigh as he was
    talking to her

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  3. grace Avatar
    grace

    and how i don’t have exams done. I haven’t been to a doctor since i was 39.
    and how maybe that is reckless. and maybe it is. but that part of me is mine.
    it is private.
    What to think of this? Maybe i’m crazy?

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  4. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    so many ways to go with this one, grace..your first comment had me smiling, loving the memory of the most animal me..sill enjoying a so much quieter flame ..but in agreement..never my favorite word either…but then so lucky to be young when we were ..i was so active in women’s clinics..in the whole our bodies ourselves movement..my body was so young and strong and lovely and healthy..and i cannot even count how many women i taught to do self exams with those funny clear plastic speculums…to learn about their own very private selves..in seattle..in philadelphia in wilmington..women not knowing themselves …
    then the other responses..you are private..i so respect that..and healthy..and it is your choice..do you worry?? there are so many places now where you can choose to see women who want you to be comfortable.. are there any around you..for myself..my mama had uterine cancer..so the choice is not so open….and yet i stretch the time as long as i can in between visits now..it is a different self i take in..and really one side of myself argues..there are no tests..for the things i fear the most..
    it is fun and funny and wonderful to share body stories with new generations..sometimes surprising..my niece upset because i had not shared menopause stories with her..when i had no clue of her curiosity ..and now we speak so freely..and again i am grateful..because the world has gotten so much more complicated..new and different dangers…and some so exactly the same that it is beyond wearisome
    it was nice to be young and …animal….gentle night grace and warm dreams

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  5. Judith in N. CA Avatar
    Judith in N. CA

    Dear Cynthia, You put all this so gracefully but forthright as does Grace. Like Grace, I am oh so fortunate to have a beautiful, honest relationship with my 30 yr. old granddaughter. Sometimes we just laugh at ourselves…one old lady and one up and coming wonderful young woman…but inside just two gals sharing..and as you said “speak so freely because of this world and its complications”. Thank you for your words this evening. Sincerely, J.

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  6. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    I have to confess my own ambivalence about the Vagina Monologues for much the same reasons … but having now looked into it, I must admit that I am particularly intrigued by the monologue entitled “I was in the room”
    And I love the relationship you have with Alyssia … the open-ended conversation between generations

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  7. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    …oh the “but inside just two gals ” isn’t it such a gift…and at the same time isn’t it strange to be the old lady sometimes…it amazes me how i can remember my mom saying this to me and i did truly think that i understood…but being here..sometimes it simply surprises me…

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  8. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Some of my most wonderful conversations are with my youngest brother’s daughters, 30 and 32 and my own daughter, now turning 38. As my 71st year chugs along I am delighted with the openness that spans the generations and look forward to more times of open sharing with my granddaughter who will soon be 15. As a young woman I was held and taught by a grandmother who was loving, open and direct, and one who graduated as a surgical/obstetrical nurse in 1913 having come to America as a 15 year old young woman, from Norway to work as a governess to save for nursing school. The blessings of her in my life flood over me in so many ways, every day. Mother was less of a giving person so my daughter leaned on me for the talks…….and as I read your words today I realized how often there is that mulch-generational teaching and loving that does happen so well in families.
    Each of us chooses how we will look at and incorporate medical exams in our lives. I really appreciate that it is one of those things that is a choice for us. Each has a different story, a different view, a different idea of what is essential and important….that is one of life’s “colors” that give me so much appreciation for the freedom to decide what is right for me.
    You bless many with your open, “laying out” in words and photos the story of the road you travel…thank you for being a strong woman of personal choice to live with a heart of goodness, to care well for others, including your goats, dogs and cats….there are so many blessings in traveling along the road with you for over 10 years…what a gift that sharing is to my life’s story.
    May each event, each breath of wind and warm sun-heated air fill you with a continuous energy for this life well-lived and shared.
    Much love my friend

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  9. Judith in N. CA Avatar
    Judith in N. CA

    It is a gift and one of my dearest treasures. The old lady remembers what it was like when I was her age..down to details. Yes, it surprises both of us..I think that’s where the laughter comes from…and I’m grinning as I type this.

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  10. Michelle in NYC Avatar
    Michelle in NYC

    I disliked the word too…it’s a clinical word. I avoided the Monologues though I admired Eve Ensler, until I saw a live production in Boston My Massachusetts friends treated me to. It was a fine show.
    I had no one but girlfriends to tell me anything about sex, but, as the seventies came on I was also a part of the self examination time with other women. However, seems to me that facts aside, the real deal about sex is extremely personal, and I mean we each have our way in to it, and each come out with very particular lessons about ourselves. The body as an instrument of functions is not nearly 10 percent of the story for each of us. Those stories are multiple, many layered, deep in the totality of our individual beings.
    I too avoid M.D.s and I have a woman Gynecologist but only see her maybe every five to seven years and in conjunction with a full physical, which my Medicare lets me do once a year. I once submitted to a mammography because of what I knew were lymph swellings I’ve had forever only when under stress, and it was rather brutal as I recall even though that ‘specialist’ was a woman. She was cold and full of disdain. A surgeon, her training taught her how to get things done but not how to be kind. I have had two doctors save my life. And the cataract surgery was a miracle and not awful as I had expected. But, I routinely avoid the medical profession as much as possible, especially since our health care’s just gotten worse and worse as it favors specialists for everything. Gone is the family physician, gone the long term relationships and talking time and warming touch. I know they’ll get me someday, but maybe not. And IF I was worried about something specific, I would go in a flash. I will have the other eye surgery done too. It was easy enough and it’s sure good to be able to see.
    How lucky for you and your Granddaughter to have each other, and to be able to talk. Funny how she tells you you are ‘developmentally correct’ in your life review. Tell her it isn’t the first time…but a kind of ongoing process.

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  11. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    I loved that interview so much the first time it was broadcast that I bought her book In the Body of the World. Haven’t read it yet though. Haven’t seen or read the Vagina Monologues. Not sure why really.

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  12. grace Avatar
    grace

    Deb…isn’t it STRANGE that we haven’t gone to look? …..at the
    monologues? I am thinking…how strange, that i never went to Look.
    I guess i have always thought i knew enough….and now, thinking…i wonder what on earth i know? Thinking in terms of a 25 year old, my granddaughter in this 2015 year….WHAT IS KNOWN????????????????????
    Where is She?, in comparison to where i was when i was 25 years???
    REALLY???
    bIG AND gIANT QUESTIONS.

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  13. grace Avatar
    grace

    my vagina…my twat, is named
    MINE.
    she is Mine.
    this i know. Her name. Mine.

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  14. grace Avatar
    grace

    and she, Mine, well, i gave her to many experiments. That last final one,
    i gave her to it. It wasn’t
    Good
    that last one
    but it’s the one i live with now. And i learn from it, even tho it wasn’t good. I learn and try to be uhhhh, compasionate
    mostly to/for myself

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  15. grace Avatar
    grace

    yes, the OurBodies Ourselves Days. HOW LUCKY WE ARE to be OF
    that time. I think this often. I often wish i could time travel and take Alyssia back with me…
    Knock on Wood, my body has always been healthy and Of Its Own Mind.
    No, i have never worried. Don’t worry now. I hope that it really
    is true that if something changed inside me, i would be sensitive
    enough to know it. Then, maybe, i would go. I’m sure there are
    good places in Albuquerque. And yes, if there was familial history, something different altogether.
    Yes. young and animal. Even not so young and animal. and now,
    old and animal.

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  16. grace Avatar
    grace

    it’s Wednesday now, the 11th, and i haven’t been back to them
    again, but i will. I’m still not through wondering about it all…
    and Alyssia is a complete and excellent Gift to me. I could
    not imagine knowing anyone more perfect. In her studies too,
    there is all this about cross generation….Colleges are TEACHING
    this…what a GREAT thing That Is

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  17. grace Avatar
    grace

    Kristen, you have such a DEEP WELL of womanhood to live in and
    grow with from a grandmother to a 15 year old…Nothing could be
    more WONDER FULL….such a Blessing, in the strongest most Real
    sense of the word
    We are Lucky, aren’t we, for these 10 years and more…
    It enriches our own single experience beyond anything i’d imagined…
    MUCH love to you in return

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  18. grace Avatar
    grace

    I love all your words here. I KNOW you now even more…
    how we become sisters, yes?

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