windthread

I did finish it this morning.  I read it too fast.  But that is my way.  I breathed it in.  I marked pages, bent over the corners of some.  I'll go back.  But i finished it because i need to get back into this life here.  When i read like this,  it's truly that the world of the book becomes the real life,  that the life i am living becomes the dream.   Stephen Harrod Buhner talks about this,  about really great writers.  They take you.  You GO into their words,  the world of their words.   Atul Gawande  does this.  The river of his words has great momentum and ease in the Going.  

Patricia,  followingthread.wordpress.com said on her blog today….

"the point here, for me, is that living and dying are not exclusive.  But concurrent.  And i need to remind self that how I do one is how I do the other."

This is it.

I was so glad to receive this book at the suggestion of Julie because i was NEEDING some things to hold to as i go forward with the Old Cowboy.  I needed to read/hear/ things to give me the courage to go forward following my own intuition.  There is concern that some of that could be viewed as neglect.  and more,  as it goes.  He does NOT want,  more than anything, to need to go to the Old Folks Home where Alz. B spent her last 3 years.   More than anything,  he does NOT WANT that.  So helping him follow through with this will not be without……risk.    And changes of late have put me in the middle of that Possibility.  I needed to read this book.

But aside from the above,  it is full of so much MORE.  It is full of so much about LIVING to me.  And this is of equal importance as i sit now,  thinking,  absorbing it.

and just this, for now.  The question is asked of people in their End Time..:  What is most important to you?  and then,  How can we help you achieve that.      Everyone's answer is different.  This morning, i thought…what is Mine?  What is most important right now?  What will remain important as my life goes on?  Can i guess?    My answer today and other's answers are Fluid.  They change as circumstances change.   But what caught my eye was

I love this little wooden table beyond love.  I had collaged, decoupaged this whole corner maybe 25 years ago?   A lot of what i glued there has gotten undone.  But just this much that remains gives me so much Joy almost daily.  I cannot love it more.  

all the small pieces came from these.*  They have them in the Visitors Information racks at the Albuquerque Airport.  Each time i went there i'd take a couple.  A while ago i took the years of them to the Community Arts Festival program for the kids to use.  I only have a few left.  Haven't been to the airport recently to know if they are still available,  as in published.  Not an inexpensive endeavor,  they may have stopped doing it?   *except for his holiness

So…making pictures.  What if i could no longer SEW?  What if i could no longer draw with graphite?  I COULD i am sure, most likely tear and glue.  I could tear and glue.    Make pictures.  Tell myself stories.

so i worked here.  This one is called  House of Wind.  

and i realized this morning that this one CAN go.  There is no reason for me to need to keep it.  I can take good photographs of it,  all the small details that i love.  It's ok.  It Could go.