i planted the Cuban Oregano in the Diamond bed,  in a small rock room.   Next to the Chocolate Flowers and watered.  Then,  i planted the Japanese Honeysuckle outside the fence from the Maybe Native Plum stump.  all the while sending vibes to Tay to leave them alone.  Which she did.  (so far)

but went out a short time later and she was tearing through the Place with an asparagus start flailing from her mouth….you remember them in the sink?….and i yelled DROP IT! and she did and i picked it up and walked,  she ran,  walking, her running and telling her to STOP which she finally did and i pressed the asparagus against her lips and nose and yelled NO!  Turned and walked away and replanted its  dear self…who knows what it feels,  and she slunk under the porch.   I left it this way for maybe 15 minutes then felt bad for her.  Digging to her is just digging.  Which is a joy.  So i said No Dig and let it go.  We'll see.

All day i did small things and looked

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it's not great,  but is what it is.  I understood how it is really,  low,  to many people.  I am short so it's ok for me,  but for not short people,  well…it's low.  But it's what i have for now.

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tweaked so you can see better,  on the right panel,  a piece of paper that will have Words

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i haven't written them yet.  Thought of them, really yet,  but will.

and all day i thought about Why? i am hoping people will want to 

buy

Cloth Pictures i make so i can keep feeding 17 Goats that I never intentionally imagined having till death do us part?

Why, if I am impelled to MAKE things, Why don't i make Useful things?  Why don't I learn to weave and weave dish towels,  belts, rugs?

Why don't I aspire even to making something like Judy Martin makes?  Great Works of Textile Art?…not that i Could,  but why don't i even have an urge to TRY?

You could have NO IDEA all the rush of thoughts swirling over themselves today.  What on Earth am i Doing????  

I need to ask these questions of self before I am there and someone, who is truly interested asks me.

I need to walk backward in my mind to when I first saw Spirit Cloth blog,  it was late one night and I was transfixed.  By seeing things that I Understood…Seeing a Way that was the "closest ever" to how I perceive the World,  experience the World

I remember the first time I watched Jude's Flicker slide show of COMA.  How the feeling of COMA has never lessened no matter how many times I've watched.

So today and in the next 3 days i will entertain these thoughts,  whether i want to or not,  they'll come.   And maybe I'll know something more  "for sure" than I do now.  It's easier NOT to think about it much.  But right now,  I seem to need to.

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the refrigerator holds a reflection of the Old Apricot Tree from the kitchen window.  From the Morning Chair,  i see this.  How Beauty Full it is…watching it there through out the day.  If i could,  i would make a Cloth of this.  But it would make even less sense than the others do.

 

 

 

 

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25 responses to “one of Those times”

  1. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Speculations perambulating around the mind…the cloths speak for themselves of course and no one in the art/craft world will not understand that. Always the only thing we can be is ourselves and that it what those who belong with us will relate to, and those who don’t belong with us will miss.
    I love the reflective image.

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  2. Dana Avatar

    Wow does this ever sound familiar. What am I doing and how did I get here? The only answer is the feeling inside.

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  3. Mo Crow Avatar

    This is what was bequeathed us:
    This earth the beloved left
    And, leaving,
    Left to us.
    No other world
    But this one:
    Willows and the river
    And the factory
    With its black smokestacks.
    No other shore, only this bank
    On which the living gather.
    No meaning but what we find here.
    No purpose but what we make.
    That, and the beloved’s clear instructions:
    Turn me into song; sing me awake.
    – Gregory Orr

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  4. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    ..for weeks as i lay in my not true bed .in pain and frightened i looked at your pieces on the wall…we had moved them down stairs so i could see them..and i looked at them …through long nights….they are your stories..they became touchstones ..now they greet me in the morning and i measure my strength in their presence,,it was important to me that they were there..there are many kinds of useful
    gentle day grace

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  5. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Cynthia, above everything else, what you have movingly and so well written here goes right to the heart of grace’s cloths: beyond their intrinsic value of vision and story, they provide something individual to each of us yet also connect us to each other, to the land, to this planet and that connection is of the highest order, of the deepest use…

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  6. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    grace, your cloths have gone to many places, many far flung homes all over the world, even journeyed in a kayak! Now they are about to go on a very special trip, one where you will be with them in Magdalena and I wonder how you will feel when you get your screen up, step back and see them all together, pulsing with what your head, heart and hands have created… I get a lump in my throat to imagine this moment.
    What I do know is that these cloths that began as snips of cloth, of varying threads, that came together to become story cloths, these threads weave stories that call out and as people gather and come to look, you will tell, you will answer what is asked, you will speak of your love of cloth, of this way of seeing life through cloth. So it will go, a conversation, face to face, talking story, bringing the backdrop to your cloths and it will be such a good conversation.

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  7. patriciaspangler47@gmail.com Avatar

    there’s a tremendous amount of energy and insight here…on this screen…and i just wonder if the screen will hold. your cloths look amazing. each individual one…but to see them together like this is such a joy. you may be amazed at what they are going to attract.

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  8. jude Avatar

    These questions. Some that I often have. I think there are always questions. I don’t think the answers are important as long as they are honest. I think when it comes to art, I am often intimidated often by those who have “better” answers. Or at least I used to be. Answers need to be honest, real, to be useful.
    Selling often interrupts that flow. It is hard when the selling is useful to you. When the answers are supporting that.
    But then when you can understand that, keep the honesty in it, the answers are simply part of it.
    Answers are tough. Naked.

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  9. patriciaspangler47@gmail.com Avatar

    yes, honest useful answers–when answers exist. and when they don’t, i guess the same awareness applies. i love the image of naked answers.

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  10. Liz Avatar

    I would echo Mo’s comment:
    “Turn me into song … sing me awake”
    Some will hear your cloth songs and be mesmerized … others will glance and walk on. We are all the same in our differences.
    I for one am glad for your creations …

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  11. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    So, Grace, this is a wonderful thing you are doing; I agree with everyone else, you are up to the challenge of sustaining the truth of what you do even at those places where it intersects with the world of commerce. I buy top-quality vegetables- produced with horse power, solar power, no artificial inputs, lots of love- from Mennonite farmers, largely because I want their life’s work to be supported by my ability to pay them in what they need, money. I think this is a great adventure, and you will meet some very interested and sympathetic minds out there, Grace. Just make sure you direct them to your online world, though, okay? They’ll deserve, and need, more inspiration, too. Lots of love to you and this.

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  12. Els Avatar

    Always the dilemma …
    you have to make art because it’s a way of life…
    you have to sell what you make becuase you need some money
    and somehow there is always the fear that the need of selling
    will influence the very true nature of the things you make …
    arrrgh it’s difficult
    Have faith Grace, there will be people who love it 😉

    Like

  13. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Putting ourselves and our art out there is scary. Much more so for art quilters because what we create comes from our souls. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the response to your pieces…they and you are amazing. What Wendy said about guiding folks to your on line world is an excellent suggestion.

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  14. grace Avatar

    yes…the reflection.
    It’s just that constant thing i have about “frivolous”. It’s so
    deep. To not be/do Frivolous

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  15. grace Avatar

    yeah, i think it is common among Makers. But also, good questions to keep asking, really

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  16. grace Avatar

    turn me into song
    love this, Mo

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  17. grace Avatar

    this is what i need to remember…that “there are many kinds of useful” and that it is not for me to say. not for me
    to say
    but…just tell the story, how it is. Yes. Yes.

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  18. grace Avatar

    this is why i mull here. so i will be ready to answer what is asked.
    I am used to talking “silently” now for a long time. Talking with my fingers on this screen. I will need words…sound….

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  19. grace Avatar

    we’ll see.

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  20. grace Avatar

    i like naked answers. It’s just been a long time since, as i said
    above, that i have talked with my voice, not typing on a screen.
    I want to remember everything that is important to me before i
    get there so it will all just be there waiting to be spoken if
    it is asked for.
    i will spend tomorrow looking at the Magic Diaries Cloth i made.
    it’s all there.

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  21. grace Avatar

    it’s not so much about what any one else thinks,
    but really, i need to be very CLEAR about my Self

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  22. grace Avatar

    this is good…cloth/vegetables yes. it’s what we devote ourselves
    to…clothmaking…growing food
    I will take your love with me…xoxoxo to you

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  23. grace Avatar

    Els…ok…i will have Faith.

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  24. grace Avatar

    guiding…i will, and to Jude. yes.

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