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the New Normal…and so, Boundaries and Self Discipline

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i had gotten this far, this morning,  and was Happy.  I  looked and looked and chose the cloth for the Back,  the Other Side and washed it in the sink,  hung it to dry in the beauty full SUN and WIND.  then the phone rang.   No good use to putting the details, but a letter from the IRS and the old cowboy was beside himself.   So

yet another day

Not a Whole day,  but the complete middle of the day which because of how i am,  knocks me off balance in my Own World.   

So,  this evening,  i am thinking of a New Normal.  I know that many of Us have reason for this same need.  New Normals.  Different Normals.   the desire for a Normal.  the desire for some kind of rhythm  in how the days go.  and as Salzberg puts it…to live with ease.

so i am going to need to Shift.   How much yet and how,  i don't know.  But for sure i am.  And for sure,   i need Cloth.  

so I will need to set new boundaries.  and i will need to find a new Self Discipline.  I love floating through days.   Can i keep Some Days to float through?    Maybe…    Maybe not.   But it's what i am looking closely at right now.  How can i DO this and KEEP my SELF inside it.  Ok.

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there are MANY things like this that need to get Done.  This pic is from the Back Door…out into the Way Back ,  looking at the Oasis there where the young Russian Olive is extending her branches and are tantalizing for the Goats.   Yesterday before i left,  they were standing on the fencing,  seeing if they could possibly reach in far enough to nibble the leaves.  So what to do?, if you don't have time to trim the branches?…  Put a laundry basket with a good sized rock in it to block that particular part of the fencing.  It will work for a while,  but not long.  Need to go in there and trim branches.  TIME.   Everything is about TIME.  Life is nothing but, Time.  I work to understand this in a Best way,  how Life is Time.  How Life is days.  Days strung together.   What this means.

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the Feather Grass is NEW each season.   it repeats itsSelf each season,  but measures Time only season unto season.   I am looking at that.  Season unto Season.

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31 responses to “the New Normal…and so, Boundaries and Self Discipline”

  1. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    a lot to ponder in this post (nothing new, as your posts are always rich in thoughts, ideas…..) however what struck me especially here was the need for a new balance, or anyway this is how I interpret what you’re suggesting; I suppose it struck a nerve within self as I too am looking to regain my one-time rhythm, as the book shop job has come to an end – per mutual agreement – and I find self with ‘more time’ on my hands and as there is So Much to Do, I have difficulty choosing What!

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  2. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    You aren’t alone! Due to various things at work, we have been joking that there is no normal anymore. I had to ask one of my co-workers to stop asking me if it was a “normal” day. Funnily enough it’s become a hot-button word for me. 🙂 Lots of deep breaths.

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  3. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    The diamonds woven into the cloth … the symbol I think of as “yours” … are a wonder. Thank you for giving us a close up view.
    I love your jerry-rigged goat deterrent (had to look up how to spell that … ha!). Thinking out of the box for sure.
    And the feather grasses … our favorites here … it is mesmerizing to sit and watch them flowing in the wind (for those who have not had the pleasure, the word “flow” is not a typo … they really do look liquid).
    Yes … we get days.

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  4. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    New normal..oh yes…l loved the analogy from yesterday of being a rock in a river. Overwhelmed by the idea of it but thinking about being that rock….how like time things around me always moving…temperatures changing…change from day to day…the seasons…the years….still just that one rock in the river. Acceptance??? Steadfastness??? Am I a rock big enough to withstand whatever comes my way…Will I lose my balance having to find a NEW NORMAL???? I love you Grace I love the gracefulness of the Feather Grass….I love the newness of the season bringing new hopes and dreams were anything is possible.

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  5. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    ah time… isn’t it a funny thing how it can get all stretchy in the early hours…right now it’s 2am, just about to make the second cup of coffee read a couple more blogs answer the e-mails and then get into whatever wants to fall out of my hands next until the sun comes up!

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  6. jude Avatar
    jude

    i am in the middle of the same thing.

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  7. grace Avatar
    grace

    so, Ms. Mo,,,, When do you
    sleep?

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  8. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    cat naps when I can

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  9. grace Avatar
    grace

    wow. i would not be able to do that. I need a big chunk of
    sleep, uninterrupted. like NEED. it would be wonder full to
    be like you…..

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  10. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    hmmm…. perhaps not Grace! being an obsessive maniac… I think you know about that kind of behaviour!

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  11. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    I, too, struggle with keeping a routine and moving my own agenda forward. Little things can throw me off so easily. I shrug off the interruptions for a while, but eventually the neglected things gang up and ambush me. I am always singing the More Discipline song.

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  12. dee Avatar
    dee

    seriously — when?!!!

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  13. dee Avatar
    dee

    is it an age thing? or an introvert thing? I find I need so much time alone. Way more than years ago.

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  14. grace Avatar
    grace

    i think it’s finally being able to RISK being honest. also,
    as Granddaughter says, a developmentally appropriate shift.
    At this point in time, with children independent, and for me
    not you, living a singular existence, it is POSSIBLE.
    I can BE what FEELS right.
    IF
    i don’t let self get lost in being NEEDED.
    it’s such a FINE line. a razors edge….there can be blood.

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  15. Liz Avatar
    Liz

    Maybe we always needed it, but only now feel free to claim it

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  16. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    I think you wrote somewhere back there about no expectations for the day, just letting it unfold and riding that. I hope you wrote that because I have really tried to live by it, or at least that’s the intention. I get those phone calls now too from my parents and it helps me to think of it like the years when the kids were little and the only way to stay sane was just to surrender and think it was a good day if I got to take a shower. A good day is when I dont lose it. And some times,the only difference is perspective (my own).

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  17. grace Avatar
    grace

    the expression: Time on my Hands.
    Time on my Hands.
    hmmmm. More time on my hands
    There is NEVER too much Time on my Hands. I always wish for
    Simultaneous Realities, like in the Seth Books.
    I always wish for TWO REALTIES. TWO. there is SO much that
    WANTS
    small things, nothing Special, just small very BeautyFull plain Lovely things that seek existence

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  18. grace Avatar
    grace

    YES. I can imagine what it might be like to be still in that World
    of Working Away daily. I did that for so long.
    Now, not so much, but still, Enough to still know it.
    i think of all who remain there and send you great great Love

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  19. grace Avatar
    grace

    diamonds with a dot. Love this, but i don’t claim it. Anyone
    can have it. Nothing is Mine.
    the laundry basket…today, Friday, is still working. It won’t
    last forever. All it would take is two of them with the same idea and ACK…they would be INSIDE the oasis, busily stripping bark from the bushes and trees
    it is such a temptation for them, i almost wish to let them go for it, but also want to keep something GROWING out there………
    oh the Feather Grasses….watching them FLOW, yes, they DO and it is so incredibly soothing to see their liquidness

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  20. grace Avatar
    grace

    Tina, we never know. We only can just Do stuff. Yes. things
    change, so much, but we slowly become steady. We slowly remain
    inside the changes. Changed too, but somehow, steady. Like the
    Feather Grasses. Like them.

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  21. grace Avatar
    grace

    what????

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  22. grace Avatar
    grace

    it’s WONDER FULL and also HARD. sometimes awful, for moments at a time, but then there comes the softness

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  23. grace Avatar
    grace

    can’t remember the tune to that More Discipline song…???????

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  24. grace Avatar
    grace

    YES. YES and YES.
    i have ALWAYS needed it, since childhood. Always. but then
    came all the rest.
    And in the most recent years the question of …WHO needs the most?
    yes. Claiming is a great Learning.

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  25. grace Avatar
    grace

    Julie, Riding the Day. no expectations. Unfolding. It’s such
    a fine line, All of It and there is no map, no particular Way.
    Today, in the midst of the rest, i SAT and did the meditation
    of Loving Kindness.
    the beauty FULL difference for me recently is that i do the meditation with my Self included. Unlike Tonglen, Metta begins with
    May I

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  26. dee Avatar
    dee

    that was meant to be: “seriously, when do you sleep, Mo?!!” but it somehow got separated in the thread…

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  27. dee Avatar
    dee

    PS “obsessive maniac” are not words that come to mind thinking about you, Grace… but then, what do I know? intense? yes. driven in certain ways? yes. but balanced, processing, letting go all the time…

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  28. dee Avatar
    dee

    one of my problems is, well, besides TV, sugar, and sloth – is I want to do things when it feels right, when there is a flow, and sometimes only if the light is right… for instance, I always clean the downstairs rooms in the morning when there is tons of light. when the body wants to do it… but living this way does mean The List gathers momentum, and as Dana says, ‘ambushes me’ from time to time… (like every day)
    and yes, the needs of others. Very much present. Boys home for the summer — cause for celebration (one of the last?). Spent the morning in the ER after a long night holding a vomiting boys’ head (all is well — food poisoning). Midnight run to airport to pick up the other (before the vomiting). Two runs to the drug store. It’s a miracle I made dinner tonight!

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  29. grace Avatar
    grace

    yeah…i don’t think she was referencing me

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  30. grace Avatar
    grace

    YES! you struck it!….”to do things when it feels right, when there is a flow, and sometimes only if the light is right”
    YES YES YES. tHIS IS IT!
    but it doesn’t work.
    for me anyway. or
    it might if i also didn’t still need to work away some and if the
    Old Cowboy wasn’t in the picture anymore
    as it is, i do not have the Luxury of that way of being. but
    wait….there’s more.
    So, OK. am going to entertain thoughts about this. But
    THANK YOU!!!! your words are a KEY….that’s exactly how it is…
    “Only if the light is right”…oh, eeeeeeeeeeeee…..yes.
    OK. this is GREAT!

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  31. dee Avatar
    dee

    It is a luxury for me too, but something I increasingly need and want… giving to others can happen in that kind of flow as well… which is why I am thoughtful about planning my days with my sister. And your comment to Julie reminds me (apropos of caring for others) — I ALWAYS say metta for myself first — I have to MAKE myself… because the impulse is to say it for someone else first.

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