windthread

all morning, my mind is whizzing along and things connect and connect and i am making copious notes with arrows,  this to that,  with circling arrows and then it got hot and i slowed down and suddenly arrived at a Thought that….

and the center,  it is all just a manifestation of the I AM.   I took a breath.   a Few breaths and then began to arrange all the thinking around this thought,  seeing it as the pebble in the water,  all the rest the ripples OF that original center and how to explain the connections and then 

how ironic

why not just stay at the center?

So,  here i am.  Now the third time in maybe almost 30 years….and that's ironic too….i seem to go in 10 year increments,  so, of course, i think

Here we are again.

"It is enough to know what you are not.  You need not know what you are.  For, as long as knowledge means description in terms of what is already known, perceptual, or conceptual, there can be no such thing as self-knowledge, for what you are cannot be described, except as total negation.  All you can say is "I am not this,  I am not that".  You cannot meaningfully  say "this is what i am".  It just makes no sense.  What you can point out as "this" or "that" cannot be yourself.  Surely, you can not be "something" else.  You are nothing perceivable or imaginable.  Yet, without you there can be neither perception nor imagination.  You observe the heart feeling, the mind thinking, the body acting;  the very act of perceiving shows that you are not what you perceive.   Can there be perception, experience, without you?   An experience must belong.  Somebody must come and declare it as his own.  Without an experiencer the experience is not real.  It is the experiencer that imports reality to experience.  An experience which you cannot have,  of what value is it to you?

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj    from   I AM THAT   1988  Acorn Press

Okey Dokey.

My kids, grandkids and great grandson are all in Lake Tahoe at the welcome of my X,  my kids father, for a reunion of sorts, or a celebration of father's day.  And just before he left,  my son on phone talked about them coming maybe for Christmas.  I think to make me feel better in case i needed it.  But i looked this morning and well,  Christmas is nice,  but i really want them to come when it's like this

 

 

 

 

 

so i hope they accept this request.  No matter what i am or am not,  in this Round,  i am the grandmother of their child and this is the world i would meet her in.  Mid May to early June.

 

new neighbor on porch who has incorporated a Mexican Feather Grass seed wad as web deco element.

over 100 degrees in the Sun and Snowbunny is Content,  resting in a feed bowl.

 

Filling the dogs House Water Bowl for the zillionth time

 

How i LOVE,  LOVE, LOVE this corner,  the Beauty of the Tangle Fray and Moon

 

LATER…after sitting on the porch

Tay has dis assembled a large old sunflower stalk.  I watched her.  layer by layer.  She comes and pants into my face,  her breath smelling like dry sunflowers.

The Nighthawks have arrived.  Just feet over my head.