It's just how it is.
Evenings into nights are delusional now. Somehow halfway through his livingroom, his house transforms into his childhood home in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. a two story farm house, where in the last three years of his mother's life, they struggled. Him and her. She would go up and down the stairs dragging her tangled oxygen tubing, getting stuck, calling him. He says it was Hell. And here he finds himself. It begins somehow halfway through his livinging room then on through a short hall way past the bathroom and into his bedroom on the left. But somehow it becomes "Upstairs" where he has a cot. He called late this afternoon because he had " torn the bedroom apart because there were "things" running around. That there were 3 oxygen "hoses" and they were knotted and crushed." When i got there, his bedroom was just fine. The bed hardly looked slept in since i made it yesterday. His oxygen tubing was fine, just lying on the livingroom floor. So. I tried not to go today, tried to stay home. Made it till about 4:30 give or take. So we talked and kind of agreed, as much as he can absorb and agree. I hauled the cushions etc off his couch and got the neighbor to help me haul it to the garage. Vacuumed the floor. Tomorrow or the next day Hospice will bring a hospital bed and put it in the livingroom where the couch was. This Might help. Not so far to go. Not "upstairs", but just across from the diningroom table where he spends his day. Next to his TV. The door to the bathroom in sight. Maybe this smaller world will seem more navigable to him. We'll see. Try it. And if not, will hire a night person which he DOES NOT WANT. This however, is not working. OK.
Just before he called to tell me about all the chaos, i'd been standing at the screen door, looking out, thinking. Thinking that this is all way more than i'd bargained for and suddenly i actually looked
double click this
Looking back…directly and without blinking…..Wild Sunflower…and i thought OK.
windthread 
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