windthread

the Grackles….so sensitive to movement…just a millisecond before there were too many to count but i raised the camera at the window and they scattered.  And it IS as i had guessed,  they are here to feed on those big grubs of the Fruit Beetles which were not as prevalent this year as last,  but many enough to bring this flock.  Flock is such a uhhh, small word for what they are.  More like a Tribe,  or Band of Grackles.  At any given time,  there are way over 50,  maybe close to a hundred between the Front and the Back.   There are adults and juveniles.  The adults are lucky hunters,  the juveniles run after adults that have snagged a grub but there is no sharing.  It's every bird for its self.  Goats ignore.   It's quite something to see,  50 or so grackles running amidst the Goats as they feed,  Goats as if the grackles do not even exist.    The grubs are here because of the Goat manure.  The birds are here because of the grubs.  OK.  

Sometimes they run.  they run as i do,  alternate legs forward and back…striding…and sometimes they hop.  Sometimes they hop/run/run/run hop.  One has no tail feathers,  but it doesn't seem to make a great difference in this moment,  but maybe with migrating it might.  I won't know.

Finished.  a strand of Jude's magic thread to hold things Safe.

I feel like a human being today.  Homo Sapien in her Diorama.  Peacefull.  Attentive.  Present.  Amidst.   

Grand daughter sent this…this pic from the monitor screen.  She is coming next week.  I have a list.  One of the primary things is to learn how to post links.

Deb Lacative sent a link to an interview in The Sun.   The Geography of Sorrow    Francis Weller On Navigating Our Losses.   Google The Sun  October 20015 issue,  it's the first article.  Everything in it.  I nod,  yes.  The grandson who is floundering somewhere Out There,  it is about Grief.  Grief for a father who did not hesitate to make it clear that he didn't care.  But who also had  felt that lack of care before him in his own life.  How it goes.  And now the grandson has spawned a  son.   Now What?  He looks upon the infant.

last segment in the interview:

McKee:  Can you give an example of what we might gain by embracing grief?

Weller:  I remember one man i worked with who struggled with depression and addiction.  He was married and had children but felt separate from his family.  He also carried a degree of shame that made it difficult for him to make friends or let his wife get close.  He told me that his parents had divorced when he was young, and he had rarely seen his father after that.  I could tell that the grief had made a hole in his heart, and he had no way to heal it,  so feelings of unworthiness had rushed in to fill the empty space.

One day,  as we were working, the man reflexively placed a hand on his chest, and I suggested that he pause and notice what was happening there.  He said he felt a tightness.  I asked him to listen to that tightness and see what it might be about.  After few moments he told me that he saw a young boy in the woods playing hide-and-seek,  and no one had come to find him.  He couldn't remember if this was a real memory or not, but there was truth in it:  no one had come to look for him in his time of sorrow, and he had been hiding ever since.  He was able to tell the boy that he was there and that we had found him.  And he was able to bring that experience home and share it with his wife.  Now,  that's grief leading to intimacy."

So.  Check it out.