windthread

found out today what that Off feeling was yesterday (and today some too, still)  the conversation in the grocery line etc was informative.  Everyone who has/had that "cold" is taking a long time to get over it.  It leaves a flu like residue.  So ok…

 

a lot of small stitching that doesn't show and in between a lot of looking at the fragments.   I just love the plain grey square with the two dots of red/orange thread.  This that came from Jude a long time ago in a batch of scraps she sent.  It's really beyond simple,  but so perfect here.  How it's surfaced now and then for so long,  but suddenly,  this,  it's Perfect Place.    and then,  that rectangle of  white with the black and blue marks that all look black really unless magnified like this….it's not much,  but where it is,  it's Everything.  Spent a lot of time just Looking.   Feeling why they feel so good.  Letting there not be an answer,  just the feeling.  So i guess, Looking and Feeling.

and then,  Goats.

 

we might remember how Great Caregiver Travis,  his woman Rebecca and the child Zarek want me to "make them some Goats".   I said ok,  when it's time, if they still wanted some.   Well….it's time.  November is the month.  5 month pregnancy and kidding in April.   So these months thinking and a lot of conversation off and on with Dog Trainer/Goat person Jan about WHO to breed,  WHY,  and today the day arrived….Here we have Cinderella.  Not the most flashy Goat,  marking wise,  and her scurs are unattractive,  but she is a WonderFULL young thing,  so gentle and Willing and doesn't mind anything about her being touched…teats for instance…..BIG PLUS…..she is the offspring of Ginger and Gideon.  She's 3 and never been bred.  

She'd like to be.  As you can see in the pic,  she is expressing her interest.  LOUD and in her very own odd gutteral/human kind of sound.  She started first thing this morning at the little gate that faces the buck yards.  Kept it up all day.  And yes,  upon looking,  her ….what would you like me to call it… her twat is drippy.  Okey Dokey.   So i have tonight to decide.

Part of me does NOT want to breed any  of them.  Part of me wants a year of Adding Nothing.  A year to just experience things without any thing but the Minimum.

Part of me wants to give kids to Travis and Rebecca and end up with milking does and make some cheese again which is such a DEEPLY satisfying thing.   I still really have no clue about how life is going to feel without the Old Cowboy, it's too soon.  Maybe there will be a LOT of room for milking.

They come into heat every month.  So it's not like this is IT,  but it's the most perfect time for kidding and beginning milking after weaning.  Next month would be ok too,  but one more month to think about it won't make any difference i'm thinking.  I either do or i don't.  Maybe i can dream an answer.

 

so that's Cinderella at the end of the picnic table.  Her mother Ginger on the table.  Under the table at the far end is Mercy with the crescent moon on her forehead.  The second one i would breed.  Because i Love her.  And she loves me.

In the foreground is Karma.  Well not the fore fore ground,  but in front of Cinderella.  Karma is the MOST BEAUTY FULL GOAT.   I would LOVE to breed her.  She so far does NOT allow touching.  This can change with kidding.  During delivery,  they all allow contact and allow contact because of the kids.  Just because she hasn't,  doesn't mean she might not become the greatest milking Goat.  so,  eeeee.

And back to the beginning.  Wishing for nothing but looking.  And back to the words of Nisargadatta Maharaj,  Do Not Add.  

I add.  Over and Over,  I add.