am having a little resistance at needing to have a "title"…. 

 

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from this morning,  early,  in the still dark

 

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fragments of cloth that were  set flying last Solstice.  Eighteen days away now,  till we can turn toward the light again.  

Chinche was having a good day.  It was about 55 ,  no wind,  skyblue sky above.  Spent a lot of time OutSide in her company  as she did the three legged trot to and from me as i sat and watched her.  She liked being watched.  Liked coming to be petted then going off to pee some more.  She pees a lot.  Small dribbles at a time.   Each squat takes seemingly forever.  

While i sat there in the Sun's warmth i tried to understand more about this season…how it is with the land here,  the plant people.   As i tried to sense it all i could get to is a great stillness.  Stillness.  I guess that could have been the Title of this post…stillness.   a kind of Great Pause.  Tried to get a feeling for how it must be for the trees and bushes,  this Pause.  Will keep working on that.  I'd like to go beyond.

 

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Tay noticed him.  How surprising.  Most grasshoppers even a month ago were worse for wear and tear.  This…perfect but still too.  Very still.   Very little time left.   DOUBLE CLICK

 

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color skewed but so you can see the basting of the oval circle of a day

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20 responses to “so much darkness”

  1. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Oh yes, turning toward the light again. With thankfulness. Dear Chinche. Dear Tay. And the grasshopper. Such brief lives make my heart ache. It’s all so brief.

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  2. grace Avatar

    Stephanie…it is. so brief. and so, i am thinking, so important to
    note it all, to look and to love. This world is so strange now, how
    we kill oneanother so easily…
    so as we kill one another so easily, then maybe to Love one another
    so wholeheartedly is something good and of worth? I think so. I think
    to Love is important. Wholeheartedly. to love Fierce ly.

    Like

  3. Liz Avatar

    I love the 70 Person in all her iterations … Arrived very much draws my eye, but there is a sense of finality in her name compared to the others. Arriving maybe? And I love the circle, endlessly coming and going.
    Btw, as I write this, Don is watching 70 year old Eric Clapton performing on PBS.

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  4. grace Avatar

    so…i typed it in….Eric
    and
    Hey love
    and i am on my knees

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  5. grace Avatar

    and listening, looking at Clapton, i am thinking yes. we ARE
    old
    it’s just true
    but we are maybe old in a little different way because of where we have
    come from
    that we are
    juiced
    really, and so maybe such a Great kind of old?

    Like

  6. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Stillness is a good name for everything because it is all a kind of still-life until it’s animated….and yet, it’s always animated…it breathes and pulses, vibrates, shakes, hums and shifts….maybe there is no actual stillness.
    About Cinche – bladder grit is in the way perhaps, and maybe a little infection which elder animals are prone to. you might try concentrated parsley water…and maybe an antibiotic. Herbal Goldenseal or Echinacea perhaps.
    Dark at rising and dark early. No wonder the solstice is so important.

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  7. jude Avatar

    i first read it as 70s person and then traveled back to me as 70s person. moving from home to nyc, in art school, illustration, quitting, working, learning to weave, marrying, giving birth, death of my nana, beginning of my career, divorce…so much of what shaped my life had to do with 70s.
    pause might be like a kind of “while”.

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  8. debbie.weaver Avatar

    Love your little sketches Grace, stillness is such a special word, it sounds like it is. I am just over 60 a while til I reach 70 but I think maybe stillness and peace in your mind are easier as you get older, maybe you just appreciate life more and all the little things that you notice, like grasshoppers.

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  9. Mo Crow Avatar

    what a beautiful post reflecting the stillness in the turning point of the year

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  10. .cynthia Avatar
    .cynthia

    long day in medical rooms..in my mind i keep seeing your person at 70..i put her into a gentle oval echoing your cloth …a good resting spot…. a nervous stillness where i am..hours ago i was tromping over the meadow snow beneath my feet..snipping pine and rose hips ..in these small rooms i am all deep breaths and oval thoughts ….and the nurse thinks it is humorous that i am doodling a grasshopper..and then i am smiling..well she sees it as a grasshopper…and after all i know that it is a spot inside my mind that is helping me hold onto still
    finally we are done..good results so far..and we drive home and half way up the hill it is almost dark already..but i tramp around one more time it is so quiet ..just me on the frozen ground..some kinds of darkness lifting..gentle day

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  11. grace Avatar

    but all the breathing and pulsing, vibrating, shaking, humming, shifting, is so so well…really, still. It’s still.
    Winter Solstice. i am pulled toward and INTO that day.

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  12. grace Avatar

    yes…oh, a great smiling Yes….70s person….i am!
    yes and just great smiling about how you saw something
    i didn’t

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  13. grace Avatar

    not sure they are easier unless you do the “homework”. it’s
    the noticing all along that begins to come together ….
    so many grasshoppers

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  14. grace Avatar

    and you, dear Mo are at the other side
    i love that this is true

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  15. grace Avatar

    how we give each other…you had a grasshopper and an oval shape,
    i have pigs creating nests of branches and leaves
    how we give to each other, all of Us, the pieces that give us
    what we need to tramp around one more time in the quiet, in
    the rooms where we Have to go, in our minds where we mill
    about

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  16. grace Avatar

    i LOVE
    that you are impelled to tramp around one more time
    because it is so quiet…so still, frozen under your
    feet
    how it lifts some kinds of darknesses

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  17. yvette Avatar

    The first thought was about a women who sees beyond seeing
    You grace
    Hugs for the grasshopper chinge and tay

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  18. Martine Avatar

    I read that too. 70s person…..so its 10s. That makes me alot younger and so fast……

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  19. grace Avatar

    stuff is Fast, so so Fast

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  20. grace Avatar

    i don’t know….but i am looking and i am yes,
    loving. Chinche, Tay, the still Grasshopper. Me…Us.

    Like

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