that thing about Scarcity/Abundance.  And here,  not about money,  goods,  but rather Time.    

the other day,  Sydney of Sydney and Jamie the Two Moms of Talula,  who all used to live up the road from me,  but now only Sydney,  Jamie lives in town,  Talula who is now 11 goes back and forth,  anyway, Sydney stopped by to bring me this gift

 

DSCN0404f

a shopping bag from World Market.  She got one for herself and one for me.  And invited me to her Solstice Celebration on Sunday (tonight) saying it's ok if you don't come but it would be nice if you did and as i always have,  when invited to her Celebrations,  i said ok,  maybe.  I think the last one i went to was maybe 4 or 5 years ago?,  it was the Martin Luther King,  Prayer Tie making Celebration with a wrestling workshop by her then newish lover Shelah.   She lives less than 5 minutes away.  But i don't go to stuff.  But they keep extending the invitations.  She really likes to cook for people.  Likes very much to have people come to her home.  I really love her and people she knows are always good and interesting people.  It's always very very nice.  But i don't go.

so for a couple days now i thought about it and today thought about it in terms of that concept of Scarcity and Abundance which is usually applied to money and goods.  But i was thinking about it in terms of 

Time

having to choose to "spend" time socializing with people  v.s.  being Home alone,   the Home alone always would win.  There was not enough time,  never enough time.  Any time there was must not be squandered,  must be held and savored as if it was the last piece of time ever.

somehow it was different.  Found self thinking…Why Not?

so though i ended up staying less than two hours (because it was just totally Enough socializing even with really great and interesting people) ,  i made scalloped potatoes and went.   And the real difference was that when i was there,  i was fully present.  I was not sitting at the edge of my chair, restlessly waiting for the first moment of polite escape.  I was There.  I was There in conversations,  There in eating the lamb stew and ayurvedic lentil dish,  There in the bourbon hot toddy,  the best corn bread i've had in a lifetime,  the dark chocolate with sea salt,   all the dogs,  those that live there and those that came as guests,  the kids.  The huge Christmas tree,  Bing Crosby singing.  I was

There.

and i am happy that i went.  And am happy that it provided the really first example of how things are different after the Old Cowboy Time.   Things are different.  There is Enough Time.   How BeautyFULL is This???   Enough Time.  There is Enough Time.

 

 

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28 responses to “a difference”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    How could you refuse a Solstice invitation when it comes wrapped in such a wonderful goat bag.Of anything that you could have written, this is just the best – fills me with joy BECAUSE you have changed the definition of time as you have always defined it. This 70th year of yours has opened a portal that is your time to embrace and choose to be involved with what presents when you want to and you did and look at the good time that you had…

    Like

  2. grace Avatar

    i would have….always in the past, goat bag or not and she
    never took offence. It was just how grace is.
    but also, it can be different. And this is the Beauty.
    I look forward to the Difference. To learning it, understanding it, being part of it.
    the cornbread was exquisite. Made by the guy who has the Alpaca
    Ranch who has 4 oh, eeeee, what are they?….4 of the longhaired guardian livestock dogs …. who i learned go through 3 50lb bags of dog food in a week. We shared our weariness of hauling 50lb bags from the vehicle to the house….

    Like

  3. Jan Avatar
    Jan

    I understand so well about the Home Alone time. . .you give me hope for the Difference in coming together. . .in being fully present. . .enough time. . .what a promise

    Like

  4. Mo Crow Avatar

    ah these are the golden magic days!

    Like

  5. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    What wonderful gifts. Solstice is upon us and I have no friends close to share it with, but I’ll light candles and know what I know.

    Like

  6. kathy dorfer Avatar
    kathy dorfer

    i know how that feels to want to stay at home … it always surprises me when i get out of myself and just go … i always end up having a wonderful time .
    i think i would have liked that party .
    Happy Solstice grace .
    xxoo

    Like

  7. helen Avatar
    helen

    What a perfect gift! She is a wise lady. Best Solstice wishes, Grace, as the world pauses for a moment and turns back.

    Like

  8. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Everything Marti said….enjoy this newest chapter of your life! I am looking forward as always to a good read!

    Like

  9. jude Avatar

    they are related though. the time and the money. it is nice to “be there”.

    Like

  10. Wendy @ the Late Start Studio Avatar

    All we can ask for is Enough . . .

    Like

  11. grace Avatar

    for a long time, like most my life, yes. But in these last
    years, not really. The Old Cowboy time increased exponentially and he continued to pay me the same…$35 every other week to
    clean his house. so…$70 a month. I had to get a cell phone
    which is $30 a month, then gas. So..not so much.
    it’s Time for me. Just Time. For a long time, going there
    4 or 5 times a week, just to “stop by” as he became needier,
    more fearful. Well…no need to go further, but for me
    right now it’s this Magnificant Gift of TIME. or put another
    way, the days now belong to me.

    Like

  12. grace Avatar

    Enough is just GRAND.

    Like

  13. deb lacativa Avatar

    I’m going to take your example with me to the Christmas day festivities that I’m expected at, with one exception. When they turn on the football game I’m going out to the barn to visit with the horses and cats for a while and then excuse myself for the two hour ride home.

    Like

  14. Martine Bos Avatar

    The most important Grace: the days now belong to you………
    Time….i sherish your alonetime!

    Like

  15. jude Avatar

    time and responsibility then, which is often money.

    Like

  16. grace Avatar

    well…ok then, it comes to that word Enough. For Both Time and
    Money. I chose. CHOSE. in neon what i chose. Because i wanted TIME and i had really quite a lot all along, really, just in my head it wasn’t Enough because of the impendingness of things.
    Not necessarily the reality. If i knew that i had to do something “away” tomorrow, then tomorrow would automatically become gone.
    I didn’t need it to be that way.
    I Chose to live where and how i live in this Chicano Ghetto, this barrio. But what it gave/gives
    is that Today
    i can claim my days. Finally. For a little while. Good enough.

    Like

  17. jude Avatar

    yes. i get that.

    Like

  18. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    claiming your days, and time alone or with others…always good to make your own choices…that willingness to try something different is sometimes very quiet…invite more of that part of you to explore time with others…from my love of seclusion it is amazing how much comes of good when I allow the invitation to hear a yes from me…so sometimes I say yes..and always allow for the freedom to leave when it feels the time to do so. Some very pleasant experiences with others have resulted…..still love solitude, though.

    Like

  19. grace Avatar

    it’s a BIG thing…that i am just beginning to look at

    Like

  20. grace Avatar
  21. grace Avatar

    you have that whole world there, Michelle

    Like

  22. grace Avatar

    you would have, kathy. It was kind and loving and Inclusive

    Like

  23. grace Avatar

    helen…we pause, yes, and then we turn.

    Like

  24. grace Avatar

    well…it will be what it will be

    Like

  25. grace Avatar

    am experimenting with this…it’s GOOD, the experimenting

    Like

  26. grace Avatar

    yes. go to the barn. Then say thank you so much and go
    HOME.

    Like

  27. grace Avatar

    Martine, they DO. and i Claim them.

    Like

  28. saskia Avatar

    they sound like fun folks to be with
    ’tis always a balancing act, right

    Like

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