windthread

i went to Jan the Dog Trainer's this afternoon late.  The mobile Vet woman was coming to do ultrasounds on both of Jan's doe s .  Sunny Ray's been there a while and Jan didn't think either of the doe s had been bred.   If it were just one,  then…..   But if neither,  then we need to look in Sunny Ray's direction.  Somehow it didn't seem possible that he would be sterile.  But…..   So it appears that Nugat, the Saneen/Nigerian  is NOT bred.   Vet thought that she saw fetus with Nutmeg,  but early,  so not sure. 12 weeks.   Another ultrasound in some time.  They talked and Nugat,  like the candy,  i'm spelling it wrong i know,  Nugat has been in milk for going on two years.  Vet thought that could be what might be preventing her from conception.  So the plan is to dry her off and give her high protein supplement for a while and try again.   so there is reprieve.

But what if neither are bred?  

There is Sunny Ray.   When i first came back to the pens,  he stood away but then recognized me.   Baby Stinky Buck Sunny Ray,  i call him,  come come baby stinky and he comes,  he is GLAD to see me.  Jan is not much for Buck goats.  Needs them for their contribution but i am sure has shared no love words with him since he got there.  Has not scratched his ears.  The eyes he gazed upon me with are the same eyes as in the post yesterday,  just in the body of a male.  His love is no less than theirs.  But i was SO happy to have him GO to Jan's those months ago,  what,  October?,  to be rid of him constantly blathering over his Father and pushing him about,  bring driven by his hormones and nothing else.

it has been such a soft relief for Old Man Gideon to live this time with Jack Flash who without hormones is a forever baby,  sweet and loving.  He is devoted to the Old Man Goat.  Gideon needs whatever last time he has like this.  And over in the other yard,  TenZen and Nogal have at least for now come to terms with things.  The Snow corrected this somehow.  Since the roof of their hut was caked with snow and ice,  neither of them could use it for that Dominance Game.  They became equal, limited to the earth itself and somehow this has allowed Peace with them.  They continue to chase eachother around,  some quiet vocalizations,  but the quality of Drivenness is gone.  How long?,  Who knows but for now,  it's quiet there too.

So…what if SunnyRay is not a viable buck?   The plan was that after he finished his work at Jan's,  he would move up to Magdalena where he is needed there.  But if he is sterile,  that's out.  So,  what then.

Right now,  i am surrounded by Goats,  live in a small island between all the Goat yards.  There is no space left for a new yard…well…as i write this,  i think….hmm maybe in the Way back….the Doe s use only some of that space,  keeping mostly to their food bowl area….maybe…… maybe i could fence off some of the Way Back for Gideon and Jack Flash?????   SunnyRay could come back home,  bringing with him Jan's other wether, CrackerJack,  who she intends to put in the freezer not too long from now.  Well….ok….a kind of a plan?  But still…what sense does this make?  

None,  really.

They are NOT pets.  They SHOULD NOT BE TREATED as pets,  but i also am seemingly not capable of facing what needs to be faced about livestock.  With either them or the Doe Goats.  I console myself with the fact that all this has simply come to me via Circumstance.  That i did not Cause it in the first place.  ie it was never my intention to have Goats here.  I was very Happy to HELP with daughter's Goats.  But they were HER Goats.  But here we have it.  How it goes.  

It still remains a possibility that daughter will come for them.  At least SOME of them.  That would change things.  But if that at some point appears to NOT be a possibility,  then……

so here i am.  All this. 

I'd planned on taking a bunch of pics after the ultrasounds but Vet came quite late and i needed to get home to feed.  Jan has recently gotten two piglets.  She will raise them through the summer and then in the fall they will be meat.  All her sheep have been bred and soon there will be lambs that she has consistent buyer's for.  Meat.  I eat meat.   She has chickens.  Recently acquired a rooster as many of her hens are aging.  So a rooster so some can brood.  replenish.    

So many thoughts.  I came home and fed and made french fries.  

and just looked at cloth which comforted me.  Cloth is neither male or female.  Cloth is cloth.  This is comforting.